Am I being unreasonable

rchddap1

Didn't realise you were still living there....looking at the Council Tax & Utility bills is a non-starter if you're still in the house.

micheleen

Just make sure HE signs for it, NOT you, then it's easily provable. You can always be 'out' when the postman delivers

:edit:
Missed the bit above when you said recorded delivery, as rchddap1 says below Special Delivery is the way, it's delivered by 12:30 the next day.

rchddap1

Especially if you send it Special Delivery...just arrange to be out the day after you send the letter.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Crazy C, you've been terrific for him whilst you were together.
Just a couple of practical points to add. Contact the council about the council tax and make sure they know you don't live there anymore and you won't be jointly and severally liable. Same with the water company.
Make sure you keep copies of all correspondence and send absolutely everything by special delivery, not proof of posting, it's about a fiver a time but well worth it. Also if you have verbally agreed something with anyone write to them immediately along the lines of 'this........is what we agreed when we spoke on.....please write to me within 7 days if this is incorrect'.
You wrote that he plays mind games. This is classed as pysochological abuse and as such is domestic violence - make sure your solicitor fully understands this situation.
Your solicitor will give you excellent, pragmatic advice and some of it might surprise you but remember you are consulting them because they are the expert and know what's what.
I wasn't as lenient as you have been with my ex but my solicitor thought I was being a bit soft which I knew so I said to her ' please be tough on this for me, because I can't be' she was and I thanked her for it afterwards.
Loads of people will post really helpful information for you to take advantage of and perhaps the most important thing in all of this is that you will be ensuring the best future financially and emotionally for your daughter.
Good luck

dinkylou

Crazy C,

Speak to your mum asap, see if she has the paperwork for the car and then you can see what finance conditions you are up against.

If the car is on car finance then you cant sell it without their permission but if it is a normal loan then you can.

At least then you can make plans for when he's away.

When does he go?

rchddap1

If the car's on HP and you've paid up to a certain point you can contact the finance company and ask them to take it away. This will essentially cancel the finance agreement. If I remember correctly, you have to have paid over or up to 50%. Still worth investigating though.

Crazy_C

Thanks Dora,

Just to confirm, we are both still living in the family home, which is up for sale, I have not moved out, he has no intentions of moving out as he said, " the only time I will walk out of this house is when its sold". So im sure you can all imagine the house is not a good place to be whilst he is there. When I come home from work I spend time with my daughter and once she goes to bed I go to my bedroom and dont move out until the morning. He is staying in the spare room.!!

Which is why the 21st will be a god send I dont care he is going away on half my money I will be glad to see the back of him, have a calm and happy xmas with my daughter and hopefully I can get him out for good before he comes back in mid january.
:beer:

rchddap1

That can't be much fun. Useful to stay put though at least until you've spoken to the solicitor. They should beable to confirm all the legal ins & outs in terms of getting the locks changed....and keeping him out afterwards.

Thought about asking for rent for bills etc...?

Dora_the_Explorer_5

You're very welcome C. If you really talk through the psychological abuse issue with your solicitor you may well be able to get him out whilst he's on his hols. There's no guarantee that he won't be psychologically abusive towards your daughter and solicitors and courts take that very seriously indeed, as I'm sure you do too.
Hadn't understood you were still sharing the house, sorry, but whilst you are you might find it helpful to keep a diary of his behaviour towards you - a dirty look as we all know can count for a thousand words so record that sort of thing as well especially when he discovers his football match has gone technical!
It won't be long before all this is sorted out and you and your daughter are settled, keep strong - you're doing brilliantly. x Dora
ps make sure absolutely no-one but you has access to your computer!

rchddap1

Wait until he works out his credit card has gone 'technical' too.