Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

liloandstitch

Welcome to the board Dantiatto - I know what you mean about the cost. DH and I dont qualify for help, so we have to pay for it ourselves. We cant really afford it, but having put if off for quite a while its now or never. 40 is looming next year, and fertility declining by the month!!!

Whatever you decide, good luck and carry on posting - its great to have this support network, you are not on your own and most of us are not sharing our journey with many to avoid all the nosy inquisitions!!!!

Have a good day everyone, Lilo

skintbutsmiling01

Hi everyone, not posted for a while, AF Came as expected last week, one day late but I'd still been hoping and wishing for that bfp. getting really emotional about it all no, just feel deserate and rubbish and useless and so angry that it wont happen. still another 6 weeks to go for OH to finish his tablets, the he has to have more blood tests and semen tests then another visit to the consultant to discuss the results, if his count has improved they will prob try me on clomid if not he's putting us straight to icsi. Me and oh not gettng on to well at the mo, don't know if its the stress, I'm very fed up and can't see it ever happening, I so wanted to be pg by xmas but I know this is just wishful thinking. Hugs & babydust to everyone x sorry for the rant x

Meltrix

dantiatto wrote: »

I'm a man so it doesn't effect me in the same way but it's awful to see my wife suffering, which she does every month like many of you I'm sure.

Hi Dantiatto

I know exactly what you mean about the above. As a guy i always seem to want to take the fixer and solver role in our relationship but this is one thing i can't do anything about and it's very frustrating not being able to offer anything more than words of consolation. I think that's why when things weren't happening for us i decided to get reading to understand more and see what we could do to help. This forum has been a great help particularly knowing that there are others going through the same thing to talk to, as well as a good source of information (sometimes too much :eek:!).

Anyway, good luck and welcome to the thread...

Js_Other_Half

I've debated mentioning this, but decided to risk worrying some of you as need to know it.

For those of you who are on the roller coaster ride at the moment, do try and ensure you nurture your relationship too. I know it's difficult, and everyone else is telling you to do it too, but take an evening occasionally to go out, watch a DVD, have a carpet picnic - whatever makes you happy.

The stats for relationship breakdowns whilst on a waiting list for IVF aren't great - make sure you're not amongst them.

<hugs>

(Runs and hides)

nottslass_2

Js_Other_Half wrote: »

I've debated mentioning this, but decided to risk worrying some of you as need to know it.

For those of you who are on the roller coaster ride at the moment, do try and ensure you nurture your relationship too. I know it's difficult, and everyone else is telling you to do it too, but take an evening occasionally to go out, watch a DVD, have a carpet picnic - whatever makes you happy.

The stats for relationship breakdowns whilst on a waiting list for IVF aren't great - make sure you're not amongst them.

<hugs>

(Runs and hides)

Couldn't agree more....... Its very difficult thou - TTC is all too consuming.Personally we've just reached the IVF stage and most conversations eventually get back to the subject !!!!! Think perhaps we'll have to go out at the weekend and have some "us" time

skintbutsmiling01

OH seems to be burying his head in the sand "it'll happen when it happens" etc whereas I just feel like talking about it every minute.
I'm aware of how much pressure we may yet have to be under and am worried about it, we have been together 10 yrs though and am pretty sure we will get it through it. I am careful not to mention it too much, frustrating as it is, I understand he must be feeling bad esp as its his sperm which is the problem. In fact I'm probably so conscious pf not "blaming" him and having bd for the sake of it in some repsects we're doing pretty well lol

jiblets1

Skintbutsmiling, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down. Big hugs. This ttc thing can be so very hard at times. Have faith that this is a low point, and you will be feeling more positive soon.

Rosie_Bud

Hi everyone and welcome to dantiatto! Check you out Meltrix, you got you a mate!

I am sorry to read that you are so down at the moment skinty, I must say I am having increasingly more periods of feeling like this and you know its not helping but you just can't help it, can you. Big (((hugs))) for you hun.

Js Other Half, that is a very good point that you made, don't be frightened! I have to say me and DH argue about other stuff and if its a bad row I always get scared that we will split and I will get a bfp that month and then be left as a single mum, god I imagine so much drama into my life its untrue!

Good luck for Friday lilo, hope it goes well. Bet Friday is taking longer than normal to come this week!

Hugs and best wishes to all

Rosie xx

liloandstitch

Thanks to all for the good wishes - yes the week seems very slow!!!! And I have just broken the news to my Step Daughter that she will probably be doing all the work at the party next week - she said just leave her the keys, she'll sort it out!!!! What a good girl she is!!

Big hugs to all that need it - it is an absolutely heartbreaking business, but unless you are really really really unlucky, you will all have a baby of your own to hold eventually, no matter what and how long it takes. Have faith in yourselves - you will make it, and when you have your first cuddle, all of what you have been through will melt away. I know that sounds a little simplistic, but all the worrying in the world will not make it happen, in fact it will hamper it happening. Give yourself time - over a year, 90 out of 100 people will have got pregnant. Even higher if you take 2 years. Some cycles will be dud before you start - so not all months can you get pregnant. The stats are the reason you will not be referred before 12 months - if you relax in the meantime, you may not need to be refered - it is clearly PERFECTLY NORMAL for it to take up to 1 year to fall.

Plus, please remember that we post on this forum because we individually have problems that mean that conceiving is more time consuming - so we will get less BFPs than the normal population.

Enjoy your lives in the knowledge that you will get what you want eventually!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lilo

Rosie_Bud

liloandstitch wrote: »

Thanks to all for the good wishes - yes the week seems very slow!!!! And I have just broken the news to my Step Daughter that she will probably be doing all the work at the party next week - she said just leave her the keys, she'll sort it out!!!! What a good girl she is!!

Big hugs to all that need it - it is an absolutely heartbreaking business, but unless you are really really really unlucky, you will all have a baby of your own to hold eventually, no matter what and how long it takes. Have faith in yourselves - you will make it, and when you have your first cuddle, all of what you have been through will melt away. I know that sounds a little simplistic, but all the worrying in the world will not make it happen, in fact it will hamper it happening. Give yourself time - over a year, 90 out of 100 people will have got pregnant. Even higher if you take 2 years. Some cycles will be dud before you start - so not all months can you get pregnant. The stats are the reason you will not be referred before 12 months - if you relax in the meantime, you may not need to be refered - it is clearly PERFECTLY NORMAL for it to take up to 1 year to fall.

Plus, please remember that we post on this forum because we individually have problems that mean that conceiving is more time consuming - so we will get less BFPs than the normal population.

Enjoy your lives in the knowledge that you will get what you want eventually!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lilo

lilo that was such a lovely post I have little tears pricking my eyes. They were such lovely words and I am really pushing myself to believe that this will happen eventually and not to worry about it so much. I know that all that you said is true and I am going to really try to live by those words until I get my elusive BFP, which I know will come eventually!

Best wishes to all and hugs for everyone cos I know we all need them!

Rosie xx