Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

JoJo77

Thanks nottslass

I find it so hard to talk to friends and family who are either overly sypathetic and keep probing, or just looked at their partner and fell pregnant so don't have any idea how I might feel - my fiend once told me she knew exactly how I felt as it took her 3 months to conceive!

I'm wondering, do you have to go to the specialists that your Dr recommends or can you chose and tell your Dr that's where you want to go (presuming your not paying yourself). As I know there's only limited 'assistance' available on the NHS so I want to make sure I have the best chance

nottslass_2

JoJo77 wrote: »

Thanks nottslass

I find it so hard to talk to friends and family who are either overly sypathetic and keep probing, or just looked at their partner and fell pregnant so don't have any idea how I might feel - my fiend once told me she knew exactly how I felt as it took her 3 months to conceive!

I'm wondering, do you have to go to the specialists that your Dr recommends or can you chose and tell your Dr that's where you want to go (presuming your not paying yourself). As I know there's only limited 'assistance' available on the NHS so I want to make sure I have the best chance

I'm assuming that in the first instance, your GP is referring you to a NHS fertility clinic ?

Yes,in theory, you can choose the consultant that you are referred to,but in reality, this could delay your appointment,and in any case you're not guaranteed to actually see the consultant- clinics are usually held with a registrar in addition to the consultant,so you may see him/her instead.

In our area the criteria for NHS IVF funding is,both partners need to be under the age of 39 and have no other children - You only get one go at IVF,so it really is a post code lottery !!!

JoJo77

nottslass wrote: »

I'm assuming that in the first instance, your GP is referring you to a NHS fertility clinic ?

Yes,in theory, you can choose the consultant that you are referred to,but in reality, this could delay your appointment,and in any case you're not guaranteed to actually see the consultant- clinics are usually held with a registrar in addition to the consultant,so you may see him/her instead.

In our area the criteria for NHS IVF funding is,both partners need to be under the age of 39 and have no other children - You only get one go at IVF,so it really is a post code lottery !!!

Oh cripes, that's worried me! This is the first referal. We had to really push our GP to even get that, despite trying for over 3 years. Going to check the criteria for our area now!

shelly

No news from me, just wanted to say welcome to JoJo.....and any other newbies that crept in while I wasn't looking

nottslass_2

JoJo77 wrote: »

Oh cripes, that's worried me! This is the first referal. We had to really push our GP to even get that, despite trying for over 3 years. Going to check the criteria for our area now!

Don't panic yet ! The NHS fertility clinic may offer Additional tests to establish why you haven't conceived yet.

Until you've seen a consultant,you won't know whether IVF is your only option-dependant on the problem, there could be other options/ treatments available to you that are covered buy the NHS.

shelly

I agree with nottslass. Don't panic!!

When we had our first referral I was sent for a blood test to check ov. Hubby had a sperm sample taken. I also had a procedure (can't for the life of me remember what it was called) to check for blockages in my tubes.

There are a few things they will check first before IVF is even thought about.

liloandstitch

JoJo77 wrote: »

Hi, can I join your gang!

My DH and I have been trying for a baby for just over 3 years. I always thought it would just 'happen' for us but have now reached the emotional point where I am quite prepared to stick needles into myself every day if that would make it happen.

I'm 31 and DH is 51. He had a vasectomy after his children from his first marriage were born. When we wanted it reversed we were told it wouldn't work so they wouldn't do it. We went privately up to a clinic in Cleveland and it was a total success. I then thought everything would work but I've now has blood tests and an ultrasound and everything seems ok. DH's count is a bit low but the Dr isn't concerned. We've now been referred to the hospital after practically bullying our Dr to take the whole thing seriously. Strating to feel very sad and weepy again (like I did when I found out my lil sis was pregnant - so difficult being really pleased for her and totally gutted myself).

Hoping for lots of support

Hi Jojo, welcome to the thread - I had to reply as our story is quite similar - DH has 4 children from his first marriage, and had had a vasectomy - we had it reversed and it was successful, just slightly below, although now is completely normal - and he is 55!!!! The good news is that we had DS, now 5 conceived normally, so it is completely possible - unfortunately no 2 is proving a litle more problematic. I think due to our ages we are prob hitting chromosomal probs (Im another geriatric hoping to push a zimmer pushchair at 40) So. good luck with your journey!!! Lilo

liloandstitch

Re the fertility clinic - for NHS treatment you will be referred to whichever clinic they are nearest to. If you want or need to go down the private clinic route after you have taken all possible NHS treatment, you can go wherever you like - you can find out info like success rates on the HFEA website which lists all the available IVF clinics. I think you just ring them, although I asked my GPs advice and asked him to refer (I am private as already have a child) I chose a specific clinic as I wanted to use the most natural methods possible, as I am not good at taking hormone treatment - and I found one!!! I have to travel to London from Kent, about 1 1/2 hours travelling, but so far I have been absolutely delighted with them, and glad that I took the time to research, as my journey would have ended by now as my FSH levels are too high for drug based IVF, so now have completely natural IVF which is only offered here, I believe.

OOOOhhhh long ramble, sorry, still addled and demented!!!

Lilo

liloandstitch

Thank you Thank you Thank you to all of you for your messages of support and big hugs.

I am coping ok, pretty philosophical really. We will wait for AF to visit, and then review our options. I have got to have a smear test, as the Gynae doing the ET was a bit concerned about a small patch that wouldnt heal and wants me to get is checked just to be safe (I had a test that was clear last year so should be ok) but apart from that, we will try our hardest to do it ourself for a month or two and then try again!!!! We are not beaten yet. I think it will prob be 2/3 cycles away, because I think Christmas will be right in the way, but we will see.

Thanks again you are a great bunch and I so wish I could have given you all a BFP!!!

Lilo
(PS I ve got an extra star WWWHHHOOOOOO!!!)

Nicki

The blood tests went well, and my ovarian reserves are good, which is the good news for today. We are therefore going ahead with an IUI cycle this month.

It was a horrible disspiriting experience at the clinic though. The nurse who was booking our scans was really stressing to us how low the chances of success were (over and over again!). She was also getting a bit shirty with us because this is a natural cycle but there is a chance I might ovulate over the weekend, but the clinic isn't open on Sundays. Apparently this will make their lives difficult as they would then have to do a double insemination on Saturday and Monday. I was left feeling like this was my fault, and also that I was being difficult because I don't actually know now when I will ovulate (and nor will they). To make things worse, my OH announced he is out of the country on a business trip on Monday evening and Tuesday morning, so if it is a go on Monday or Tuesday afternoons I'm going to be on eggshells that's he's actually going to make it on time to do his bit, or that he will be rushing off and leaving me immediately after the deed. Came out feeling really miserable and stressed, when I should have been relieved because the blood tests were OK and were taking some action at last this month.