Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

ginvzt

I can't tell what it is, but Agnus Castus screwed up my cycles. I only tried it for a couple of cycles, but it shortened my cycle a bit and I got early bleeding/spotting as well. Decided it is not worth it!

becs

Hi Lilo,

I'm not sure about evening primrose oil but Agnus castus is supposed to help restart and regulate periods. I tried it before I was diagnosed but obviously discovered that it doesn't help tumours!:rolleyes:

Good luck FE and Somnium. Fingers crossed for you.

A question for Shelly if you're lurking? As you're in the pboro area do you happen to know whether PDH can do sperm tests? DH has agreed to go and have his tested just incase this isn't solely my problem but he was told he has to take it to Addenbrookes! Given that it's supposed to be there within an hour I think that would be nothing short of a miracle unless he's prepared to do the deed in Addenbrookes toilets! Nice! Seems crazy as he drives past PDH every day!

JoJo77

What I did want to ask you all is how you keep the motivation and positive thinking up?

I have been having reflexology for the last year in the hope that it would help and I admitted tearfully to the reflexologist last week that I don't really believe that I will ever have children. I don't feel desperate and near suicidal like I once did but I just don't believe it's going to happen. We have been trying for nearly 4 years and they can't find anything wrong. I feel like I'm being punished for all the silly things I've done in my life. I'm on clomid and have gained a stone in weight but no sign of the elusive bfp. I'm dreading ivf as I just feel that I will go through it all for nothing, but I have to do it just to prove that it won't work. I just feel really depressed about the whole thing and although I think about it all the time and am always watching what I eat, when we bd etc, in my heart of hearts I feel it's all for nothing. How do I pick myself up?

shelly

becs wrote: »

A question for Shelly if you're lurking? As you're in the pboro area do you happen to know whether PDH can do sperm tests? DH has agreed to go and have his tested just incase this isn't solely my problem but he was told he has to take it to Addenbrookes! Given that it's supposed to be there within an hour I think that would be nothing short of a miracle unless he's prepared to do the deed in Addenbrookes toilets! Nice! Seems crazy as he drives past PDH every day!

Sorry I have no idea as all our tests and stuff have been done at the Kings Lynn QEH. (probably because we lived in Wisbech when we first started having all the tests done)
Though hubby did have to do the deed in the toilets (as we didn't want to risk the sample cooling down on a journey) so your hubby might have to prepare himself to do the same.

Sorry I can't be more help

becs

Thanks anyway Shelly.
As per usual it's me that is having to do all the ringing round to find out everything for him. I just lost it yesterday in the car on the way to see consultant and screemed at him "Do I not have enough of my own problems of my own to sort out, can you not do this one simple thing for yourself!" I even asked him to ring the practice manager at the surgery and ask her what was what (she was really really helpful when I had issues about having my blood tests done), he did ring her but she wasn't there. Now a woman would have instantly said "when will she be available to speak to" would we not? Well Dh just said "ok" and hung up!:mad: Is it me?

liloandstitch

JoJo77 wrote: »

What I did want to ask you all is how you keep the motivation and positive thinking up?

I have been having reflexology for the last year in the hope that it would help and I admitted tearfully to the reflexologist last week that I don't really believe that I will ever have children. I don't feel desperate and near suicidal like I once did but I just don't believe it's going to happen. We have been trying for nearly 4 years and they can't find anything wrong. I feel like I'm being punished for all the silly things I've done in my life. I'm on clomid and have gained a stone in weight but no sign of the elusive bfp. I'm dreading ivf as I just feel that I will go through it all for nothing, but I have to do it just to prove that it won't work. I just feel really depressed about the whole thing and although I think about it all the time and am always watching what I eat, when we bd etc, in my heart of hearts I feel it's all for nothing. How do I pick myself up?

Big hugs to you JoJo it is really hard. I try and take the pressure off a little bit by giving myself time - for example that I will be pregnant by Christmas. This takes the pressure off for me and if it gets to Christmas then I refocus. I found it unbearable waiting from month to month for AF and it always coming. It is hard when you are trying to do everything right. Also try and reduce your stress (easier said than done) on yourself, you are probably far harder on this on yourself than anyone else! Reflexology is brilliant for de-stressing. Have you tried acupuncture?

I hope you find some peace! Lilo

ginvzt

Well, my Hycosy date is nearly there - it is tomorrow early morning. I think I was fine so far, but I am starting to fear it now!!!! And, me wanting to sort out all I can as soon as possible, I even booked to take our cat to vets in the afternoon! (He has been scratching his neck too much, and it seems like he is getting a bit "low" on hair in that area). I know, it will probably be ok, but I keep having the thoughts what if not. I will have to drive home afterwards as well. I even warned OH that if I am not feeling well, I'll give him a call at work to come and pick me up. He works an hour's drive away though!

liloandstitch

I am sure you will be fine ginvzt, at least it has happened quickly - less time to worry! Good luck

Lilo

FairyElephant_2

'Morning all!

Somnium - I dodn't know about the pineapple thing until recently (last I read, drinking it was to help with EWCM) but I have been on another site (Repromed) communicating with other ladies having IVF (lots at my clinic, but other from around the country too - I think anyone can register) and there is ageneral concensus that to help the follies grow you:- 1/ drink pineapple juice. 2/ eat lots high protein & drink plenty of milk. 3/ use a hot water bottle on the lower abdomen area as much as poss (not been doing this in the hot weather, but have had the cat on my lap LOL!!!). 4/ drink plenty of water - helps the folies and also helps avoid OHSS. Don't know if there is anything in it, but I'm pretty much at the 'give anything a go' stage!!!!
Good luck with your scan today - let us know how you get on!

Ginvzt - good luck to you too! I'm sure if you weren't supposed to drive afterwards they would have told you before. I need to get my cat to the vets too for a checkup & vaccination - she hasn't been for several years, but I've noticed her showing her age a bit now (well she is about 16 even if she does think she's still a kitten sometimes!) so I best get her checked over.

Lilo - I though that Agnus Castus was to regulate cycles, in particular to regulate OV & the luteal phase. I took it for a few months when my OV was all over the place and sometimes my luteal phase was 10 days, sometimes 18! It did seem to help with that, but if it is your 1st half that is off then I don't know, sorry Hun.

Becs Hun - I sympathise but I'm afraid, in my experience, that's just men for you! I could recount almost countless similar experiences I've have with my DH (and also my Ex, and my dad......).

FairyElephant_2

Jojo Hun - it is so hard I know.

I got myself into that place that you sound like you are in...we seemed to have tried everything, and every month when AF arrived I felt wretched. I put our lives 'on hold' and couldn't plan anything 'in case I might get pg'.

Ultimately I guess 2 things pulled me out of it - my DH being the main one. One day when I was sobbing away, I accused DH of not wanting a baby as much as I did, and not understanding. He told me he was scared that I felt he wasn't enough for me any more, and did I love him less now as I was saying I would never be happy without a baby? He wanted to know what had happened to the happy times we had when we got together, and why couldn't we have fun any more? I felt bad then that I was being selfish, and realised I'd lost my way in our relationship because of my obsession. I resolved that I was not going to put things 'on hold - just in case' and more and the next day I booked an exotic holiday for us!!!

The other thing, strangely, was being told that we needed ICSI. At first I was devastated, but then I came to a realisation - what a relief not to have to chart temps, use OPKs, BD at 'the right time', stress about the 2WW every month! If it wasn't going to happen 'naturally' (well about a 1% chance) then I could forget all those things and get on with life. Even our s*x life improved because I wasn't stressing about 'doing it' at the right time!!!

I’m not saying I don’t still get depressed – it is a constant background struggle – and the stress of doing an IVF cycle is incredible....but I kind-of feel like it is no worse than the stress I used to feel every month, just like several month’s worth all compressed into one time – does that make any sense? And there's a sense of a lot of the pressure being off me and onto the experts. All I have to do is what I am told, medicate at the right times etc, and then I've given it my best shot.

I also found that counselling really, really helped. You can say what you like to a counsellor, they don't judge and they won't tell anyone else what you have said. I was skeptical at first, but our consultant pretty much insists that you see one before you start IVF, and I am really glad I did.

((((HUGS)))) to you Hun. Don't know if I have helped, but if you want to 'talk', have a rant or whatever, please feel free to PM me.

FE