HUbby says I am tight with money

doelani

OK a little background............

From my signature you will see we got inot a lOT of debt a few years ago which is now all paid, we are debt free apart from normal , mortgage, utility bills, car insurance etc.

Over the last few months we have managed to save quite a bit, have a healthy emergency fund, have a savings account for next years holiday ( big holiday costing £2k :eek: ) but all affordable.

Anything hubby needs sorry should say wants he gets, I never spend money on myself on extra's, took my 4 months to buy the new pair of shoes I needed lol I look after the finances so if hubby wants to buy anything has not got enough money ( I mean if over £50 ) he will ask if spare money in bank.

Well a few days ago he suggested a weekend away , I do not wnat to go , well I do but just cannot justify spending about £250 for weekend plus spending money. We do have the money but I want to keep it in the bank. I have also been trying to save energy around the house, not use tumble dryer etc and this is when hubby said I was tight, have the money and will not spend it .

After so long struggling I just want a back up, I take £xx for shopping each week and every 4-5 weeks any spare I have go into savings.

Anyone else have this problem ? One partner saves other does not see the point?

MrsTinks

Yes and no... we're still in debt (but affordable debt if you know what I mean...) DH and I have had several conversations about money because I'm "tight" But it's because we have an ickle one on the way and I'm not budging much...
OH on the other hand feels we both earn well and should have SOME nice things etc
And I agree... You CAN'T just save non-stop - sometimes you have to spend a little. You say you have the money - you can afford the weekend away so why not go? You will still have savings right? You're not going to be doing without because of going away.
I think your main woryr is that hubby spends so you feel you can't - well why not point out to hubby how much he spends and that it's worrying you - if he can agree to curb HIS spending then you'll agree to the weekend away - but YOU need to relax a little - you're no longer in debt! You have savings and you're saving for a holiday. You're doing ok! You have to live life a little too

SaveTheCheerleader

Yes - same thing in this house! Hubby gives most of his wages to me on payday and all bills and food and basic living costs i will pay for. We do this as he wouldn't control it properly and we'd have nothing and be overdrawn every month.

It works for us BUT i always get called 'tight' by him, it dosn't bother me one little but though, in fact i'm proud to be frugal!!

alwaysonthego_2

My dh also calls me tight because I control our finances, but I don't hear him complaining about our family holiday to florida next year, nor the plasma tv, laptop etc we have bought this year all paid for with out occurring debt.

doelani

thanks for reply

MrsTine wrote: »

I think your main woryr is that hubby spends so you feel you can't - well why not point out to hubby how much he spends and that it's worrying you

he does not spend that much maybe I came across wrong, he just wastes it lol like £80 for new motherboard when pc was working ok lol like I say WANTS rather than needs lol

We have everything we need, car, pc's, plasma tv's, holidays every year. He just cannot understnad I want monry in bank.

doelani

SaveTheCheerleader wrote: »

Yes - same thing in this house! Hubby gives most of his wages to me on payday and all bills and food and basic living costs i will pay for. We do this as he wouldn't control it properly and we'd have nothing and be overdrawn every month.

It works for us BUT i always get called 'tight' by him, it dosn't bother me one little but though, in fact i'm proud to be frugal!!

my hubbys problem is he does not want to look after finances, as long as he has money when he needs it but does not understand if I was not so careful the money would not be there.

robnye

whilst i can see it from both sides......

if you cant spend any free money on yourselves, then why stick it away - youve already said you have enough in emergency savings funds.....

i think you are an addict..... if you dont spend it you just have to save it....
please see a doctor..... soon you will end up wearing rags as you will just have to feed the savings monster..... :rotfl:

arthur_dent_2

We are debt free and hubby sounds a bit like you are. Unless he has in excess of £1000 in spare money he is not happy. I realise this is for a reason, and it does work well but when you are on Pocket money of £20 a week and have to buy everything non essential for yourself and 2 dds, it does get a little tiresome.

Zazen999

Hi there

We have a mortgage for £100k ish and no other debts. We have money in the bank and i had a nice windfall a couple of months back. We were going to go back to New York for a lavish holiday, as I've got the cash to afford it - but I told him that in this current climate it would be best to have a more low key holiday so we are off to cornwall. I'd have been happy not to go at all if truth be told, and spend the time in the allotment making raised beds. Oh, I got the wood for the raised beds by following a bloke who had wood in his van, on his way to the tip and asked him if I could have it. Yes, I could afford handmade raised beds, but why not reuse old wood?

I'm proud to be tight - I want my Money in my account not someone else's - I grow all my own veg and if we don't have it, then we won't eat it. I earn a very good wage and I like to keep hold of it for as long as possible.

What are you going to do on a weekend away that you can't do at home?

I put up a note on our writeboard, the amount of cash I got for the windfall, and we calculated the interest I'd get each year on it. Half the total is going on improving the house, and the other, with the interest, will help pay the mortgage off when our fixed term comes to an end - which I want to reduce as much as possible. We also overpay our mortgage and every month we see the length of mortgage coming down and down.

I don't watch TV anyway, what the heck does Plasma bring to my life - nothing...

I agree with you - you need a back up and he's the weakest link at the moment. It's taken me a while with my OH to reuse and recycle, rather than throw away and buy new...but even he is now on the look out for wood for more raised beds! Which is an achievement in itself.

Ivrytwr3

i just read "hubby says i am tight" and thought hubby is a lucky man.

miserly_mum

Hello doelani......its scary reading your post because you and hubby sound EXACTLY the same as me and my OH

Although my OH is a spender by nature and i'm not, he really loves the fact that if he/we/the kids need something the money will be there to get it.

He happily leaves all financial dealing to me because by his own admission he poop with money.

OH and my older kids all call me scrooge etc (in an affectionate way) and me being careful (ok tight) with money is a standing family joke

HOWEVER......although we don't go out to bars etc or eat out very often the one thing I can justify to myself is a few days away 2 or 3 times a year. It is our time together and money well spent. No kids ,no stress time to relax PLUS uninterrupted nookie.

We usually rent out a house and this can be very cheap this time of year. We're going away again on the 19th of Nov for 3 days. The house will be £165 with all heating electric etc included in the price.

The week before we go I cook and freeze stuff for our evening meals so we have the minimum of cooking to do and take all our food with us. We stock up on cheap beer and wine too.We save up all those DVDs we never get time to watch, I take my knitting OH has his books. Leisurely baths without kids banging on the door needing a poo is FANTASTIC :rotfl:

I'd thoroughly recommend it. We can do the whole thing for much less than £250 out of season.

Yes it lovely to have money for a rainy day but money is only as good as the pleasure it can bring to you.

PS Imagine a whole weekend not worrying about Powershift......you'll be using someone elses electricity :T