HUbby says I am tight with money

squashy

Why don't you compromise by trying to find a real bargain break? You can sometimes see vouchers for 2-for-one hotels in the paper, offers with nectar points/tesco clubcard, even on the back of cereal packets. Have a look at some of the boards here for a good start.

I am a bit of a spender/bargain hunter but also very strict about what I have got to play with. I love the buzz if getting something cheaper than it should be (only if I need/want it in the first place of course). I do think that as long as I have paid all my bills and saved, if I end up with a little bit extra at the end of the month then I should enjoy it. Mind you with 5 children in the house that isn't often

Loopy_Girl

I don't think you are tight. I just think you have scrimped and saved for so long - to clear nearly 70k of debt in 3 years is truly amazing - that you are used to it and you never ever want to get in that position again.:D

I think the idea of you having your own 'rainy day' fund will do you good. You can enjoy your excess monies which you have worked hard for but if you start to panic you know you have your wee stash;)

foreign_correspondent

Another vote for getting your own savings account here!!

*Louise*

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I guess what I'm saying is set up an account in your name if you want and don't talk about it if you don't want but don't hide it either...if he is useless with money he won't notice/won't care....

That's what I do.

OH got an inheritance through last year, and he was just going to stick it in our joint account.(Where it would have frittered away over time) The joint account we have was opened over 2 years ago - the bank didn't send him out a debit card, and he STILL hasn't phoned up to request one. :rolleyes:

So I was the one who got a bank appointment and opened high interest savings account for his money, in my name - he wasn't bothered about having his name on the account. (Nice to be trusted so much, haha):rotfl:

I have written all the numbers for 7 bank accounts (including the kids')and 2 trust funds and put it where he can find it should something happen to me. It's all there if he wants to know, but he just never asks, as long as he has some money in his pocket, all the bills and household expenditure is down to me.

He does expect to be able to spend when he needs to though - he wanted all of us to go to Legoland at the end of the month, which would have cost around £700. This close to Christmas? I don't think so :rotfl:

miserly_mum

squashy wrote: »

Why don't you compromise by trying to find a real bargain break? You can sometimes see vouchers for 2-for-one hotels in the paper, offers with nectar points/tesco clubcard, even on the back of cereal packets. Have a look at some of the boards here for a good start.

I am a bit of a spender/bargain hunter but also very strict about what I have got to play with. I love the buzz if getting something cheaper than it should be (only if I need/want it in the first place of course). I do think that as long as I have paid all my bills and saved, if I end up with a little bit extra at the end of the month then I should enjoy it. Mind you with 5 children in the house that isn't often

That is exactly how I see things too.

Its not going without just to save money. Its getting what we need or want at the right price.

Sad as it might sound if I get a wee bargain it brightens up the rest of my day/week/year (depending how big a bargain it was) :rotfl:

I'm very lucky to be "comfortably" off now compared to when I was with my ex hubby. He left us in debt and danger and I really struggled to bring up 5 kids on my own for a long time.

That doesn't mean I would feel the need to have a secret stash from my Partner now. (Although I could very easily because he's so trusting)

It meant I was extremely careful who I decided to share my life and finances with again (which is why it took 6 years).

If I didn't trust my OH completely, including financially I wouldn't be with him. Before we moved in together it was with the understanding that I dealt with money matters because of my experience with my ex.This gave me peace of mind and hopefully defused any possible future disagreements over money

He was happy to do this and neither of us have ever been so well off. Its a joint effort. He works hard to earn the money and I work hard to make it stretch as far as is humanly possible :T

I'd much rather do that than have secret accounts because I feel trust is so important. He trusts me with every penny he has and I couldn't betray that by keeping things from him.

traveller

Idiophreak wrote: »

It's good to see you've learnt your lesson...This time around you'll steal his money first! Woo!

But surely if it's money you've worked for-your NOT stealing anyones money.So she has learnt her lesson.And most people would have had their own bank accounts anyway-does everyone else just close these?Just interested, as I would still hold onto this as well as have a joint account.

Idiophreak

traveller wrote: »

But surely if it's money you've worked for-your NOT stealing anyones money.So she has learnt her lesson.And most people would have had their own bank accounts anyway-does everyone else just close these?Just interested, as I would still hold onto this as well as have a joint account.

If you're handling joint finances, you're handling not just the money *you've* worked for, but also the money your OH has worked for. If you start taking money from the joint funds without OKing it with OH, however you try to sell it, you're just stealing money from them...

I just don't see how this is supposed to end happily..

OH: "Oh no, I've spent all our money on boys toys, fast cars and booze...now the fridge has broken and we don't have the money to get a new one".

You: "Don't worry, I've secretly been stealing money from the joint account for the past six months - we can use that to buy a new fridge".

OH: "Gee, honey, thanks for stealing from me...you've really helped me out of a pickle..."

...and that's the best case of a secret rainy day fund...if you're just taking the money for "in case I need to run away" / "financial independence" and stuff, the OH will never see it again...

pollyanna24

I still don't think people should have "secret" accounts where they squirrel joint money away. If it truly is your own, then fine. We get £200 a month each from our wages and if we decide to save this, then it's our business what and where we put it.

If you don't trust your partner, don't have joint accounts, I guess. My parents have never had one and they've been together over 30 years, but me and bf have everything joint.

I do all the finances and just put £200 in his personal bank account a month (although there is nothing to stop me taking it out again by internet banking - but I'm glad he trusts me enough).

I have asked him about this before, whether he thinks I have too much control over things like this and if he ever worries, but we kinda came to a compromise if something every went wrong.

We have put pretty much all of our savings into ISAs. Now this are individual accounts. I may have filled in all the forms for his one, but I can't access any of the money to it without him, and vice versa with mine. So we just make sure they have a pretty similar amount in each and if I wanted to run away with all his money, he'd still have a backup in his ISA. (Heehee, if he knows where I put the books for it, that is!).

Optimisticpair

doelani,

I would suggest a set of piggybanks system. I would agree with my OH that after the funds for living are covered then 1) there is an agreed amount in the emergency fund which can't be touched except in time of disaster, ie up to 6 months 'wages' maybe in case of loss of main income job / illness fund 2) a set amount to be paid into the emergency fund until the agreed target is reached, it would be reviewed yearly perhaps, 3) a savings fund for renewing car, fridge, 4) a savings fund for roof repairs etc, 5) a savings fund for holidays and 6) each has x amount monthly left for their own use, PC, clothes, presents, to spend or save.

That way have the peace of mind to know that everything is covered and that you each have some money to spend that you don't feel nervous or guilty about using. Importantly it is agreed between you how much you need to save for various things and how much you want to save and can afford to spend. It is open and honest.

shadowspy24

The OH is portrayed as a person who will spend every single penny they can get their hands on. But I am sure this is not the case surely he has some common sense as to have some sort of safety net for a disaster. There has to be a balance so that you buy what you need and occassionally have some treats but at the same time you need a backup fund. If OH is hellbent on spending every penny saved then you do need to keep a backup fund in secret. Nobody knows what the future holds, it helps to be prepared.