Pregnant Homeless 17 year old

Mikef

I certainly didn’t mean to come across as smug and I do agree that violence in any relationship is not acceptable, as for going through it, no your right, ive never had or been violent towards a partner, I have a close friend who ive nursed through broken ribs, broken nose, bruises up and down both arms, had her partner arrested, fought with her partner after he hit her infront of me, the derogatory slur, the mental torment, the oppression, ive heard the comments of ‘this time its over’ countless times only to see her go back to him again and again and I don’t pitty anyone, I don’t believe that’s what people want but ive cried for her, ive sobbed and wished I could resolve her problems but I cant, what more can I do. My friend, like the 17 year old being discussed here must make her choices on her own. I believe she isnt with him anymore if I followed the thread through she lives with her gran at the moment?!?

What I wanted to portray is that just because the girl is 17 it doesn’t mean she cant raise a child and have a life as good if not as in my case even more rewarding than her friends and social peers. I suppose you have statistics that fit with the claims that my experience of having a child at 18 is an exception or was that just a passing comment made up from your narrow minded stereotypical view of young parents!

oilit

i dont necessarily have constructive answers here: but I have a view - which I guess will be controversial - but here goes:

The problem with this country is that we seem to dish out free houses to women who have children (which of course I am ok with on the face of it)

HOWEVER if you dig a little deeper, a load of unanswered questions rumble around in my head:

What is there to deter the young women/girl to explore the world of adulthood and have unprotected sex with a boy/man, with no consideration to the consequences if they have a less than ideal home life/work life etc etc. and have low self esteem

If they feel that having unprotected sex will cheer them up/feel loved/valued - they dont necessarily care who the other person is. A pregnancy follows, the less than caring home environment results in the situations described above, and then the whole saga starts - more children = housing/child benefit etc etc etc. = more children=more money

In a draconian world, free housing for such situations would include mandatory steralisation or something similar - but of course we wouldnt do that. Maybe it would be loss of housing if more single parent children appeared - but of course we cant do that either can we?

So we are stuck with the highest underage pregnancies in Europe, women left to carry the burden whilst the so called fathers shurk all responsibility - or turn violent because they think they are bing entrapped. And a huge burden on the rest of society to pick up the bill.....

OF course all children and abused women should be housed - living on the street is not an option that I support either!

Its a strange world...

One wonders what the statistics are for disfunctional and/or divorced/abused/abusers/single parent families bringing up children who in turn become disfunctional and or divorced/abused/abusers/single parents

uganda

Well, oilit, I can see where your rather controversial views may emanate from, you are free to hold them of course, but other countries have excellent social welfare and nowhere near the level of problems we are talking about here, so I disagree.

Accidental/irresponsible teen pregnancies occur much less frequently in Spain, a country I lived in for many years, but when they do there is far less need for the girl (even if abandoned or abused by the partner) to need help from outside the family. The family is a loving unit and failing to support your child is anathema.

The problems in this country would seem to stem from the inability of society (yes folks, that means all of us, whether we have children or not) to take responsibility for everyone in it. Of course this extends to personal responsibility, but if a society cannot make allowances for a scared young girl and a troubled violent boy, if her family cannot understand that love is most needed when it is difficult to give and if we cannot withhold judgment on people who do not understand the ways of the adult world yet, then this situation and the millions of others like it, degrade ALL of us.

If this girl has been loved all her life, she will get over this rebellious period, ditch the violent boy and will do fine as a young mum. If she has not, she still may manage it but it is unlikely. If the boy had been loved, I simply do not believe he would be violent.

I'm not a wishy-washy do-gooder, I believe in standing up for yourself and taking responsibility for your actions. But both these young people will find themselves accountable in time, and are already being punished. If anyone can get close enough, it's time for them to have a hug. The kick up the !!!! can come later.

Savvy_Sue

For the last time of asking

GOING OFF-TOPIC

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: While it’s easy to wander off-topic that often prevents newbies finding the information they want quickly and easily (please see this rule). Please keep this thread on topic. If you’d like to discuss non-MoneySaving related topics please continue your discussion in The MoneySavers Arms or Discussion Time. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="%20abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

I shall now lock this thread. If the OP wishes to update or ask for more information for her niece, it will have to be in a new thread, but it seems we scared her off some time ago.