Pregnant Homeless 17 year old

mrsconfused_2

The situation is as follows.

17 year old girl who is 4ish months pregnant. The relationship with the boyfriend is very on/off and he is now living 300 miles away. The girl has moved in with him twice now but both times shes needed to come home within a week due to violence etc- last time she ended up in A&E.

She is neither working nor in education- dropped out of college to be with this bloke. Her mother has had enough of the lies, dossing around doing nothing all the time and told her to either register at college ( even on a short course) or get a job or leave- the girl chose to leave and go to the boyfriends.

Now that has gone pearshaped again she is currently sleeping on her grandmothers sofa ( in a one bed flat)- 50 miles from her hometown. She has no money and the grandmother is on benefits so cant really afford to keep her there long term whilst she is contributing nothing

She did have a homeless interview with the council local to her mother but didnt bother attending- she'd already been and produced letter saying she needed to leave, proof of pregnancy etc and the appt was on the day that she was meant to be leaving the family home- but she decided to travel miles and stay with this bloke instead

She has visited the local council to her grandmother who told her to go to her hometown council.

So has anyone got any ideas of how best to sort this situation. The girl doesnt want to return to her hometown, nobody seems interested and she doesnt help matters herself by keep flitting all over the place. Also I do not think shes had any antenatal care apart from dating scan and a scan at the hospital after the violent row with boyfriend. This is due to the fact that she is miles away from her GP and doesnt have a permant address to register with another

Zoetoes

It's annoying for those concerned that she didn't go for her appointment to see about being rehoused but she's probably very depressed at the moment.

I imagine all she wants is for this lad to love her and look after her and the baby, it's obviously not going to happen that way but she will have to learn that for herself eventually.

I know she's 17 and is old enough to sort herself out but on the other hand she is only young and is probably in a panic and having to go place to place and sleeping on couches isn't helping.

While she has got herself into this mess, she could do with some help in getting herself rehoused and also some moral support.

Could somebody go with her to the housing appointment? Offer to help her get a little place set up, make it more positive for her?

She needs to get somewhere sorted and get registered with a GP in the area to get the care she needs.

It's not ideal to go straight onto benefits but she can get help with rent etc, for now housing her is the priority, then when she's settled she can look at other options.

jamespir

im gonna sound like jeremy kyle here but if shes old enought to have sex without protection and she old enough to get pregnant the she old enought to sort her problems out her self i fell sorry that her so called boyfreind beats her he doesent desrve anythinga and if she wants to go bakc to him you got to let her as for the whole homless thing if she cant be bothered to turn up to the inteview then the council cant get here a home

rosie-lee

I've got my tin hat on here ready......

i realise that you have posted asking for for constructive help and in no way want to do any 'silly girl bashing' but what is going through my mind is this..

Is this 'child' really able to look after and bring up another 'child' right now?

At that stage of her pregnancy, my honest view, no matter how unpopular it is, is that she should be very seriously consider giving up that baby for adoption, along with a letter explaining her circumstances and why in todays society that poor little baby would and should, at least have a chance of a happy, stable home life.

Please don't get me wrong, i personally know of many young mums who have succesfully brought up children, despite very difficult circumstances and starts in life.

But in the case of this girl, it doesn't sound like she is mature enough yet to take on the huge responsibilty of another life.

Zoetoes

I get what you're saying rosie-lee, with her not getting things sorted for herself, but she's probably in a bit of a state by now and could do with some guidance and support to start off with and maybe then go on to be a good mum?

Sometimes life just doesn't go according to plan does it?

Lokolo

I actually agree with rosie here.

Girl at my OH's school got pregnant in lower sixth (first year of college), the school asked her to leave, but she was mature enough to make the decision and stayed, get a decent education, and sort it out.

She is on good terms with her parents and is keeping the child.

It can work, but its upto the girl, and I'm sorry, at 17, if my GF got pregnant I would have helped her out, not beaten her, and I highly doubt she would have gone on a loopy, dropped out on everything and started livign with me on only benefits.

Quite frank, she needs a good slapping and told she needs to sort it out.

p.s. does anyone else read this and think of Hollyoaks?

mrsconfused_2

rosie-lee wrote: »

I've got my tin hat on here ready......

i realise that you have posted asking for for constructive help and in no way want to do any 'silly girl bashing' but what is going through my mind is this..

Is this 'child' really able to look after and bring up another 'child' right now?

At that stage of her pregnancy, my honest view, no matter how unpopular it is, is that she should be very seriously consider giving up that baby for adoption, along with a letter explaining her circumstances and why in todays society that poor little baby would and should, at least have a chance of a happy, stable home life.

Please don't get me wrong, i personally know of many young mums who have succesfully brought up children, despite very difficult circumstances and starts in life.

But in the case of this girl, it doesn't sound like she is mature enough yet to take on the huge responsibilty of another life.

Actually i quite agree with you. The girl is my niece and no I do not believe that she is mature enough to care for a child. I can only imagine that maybe she thinks that the baby will make her boyfriend love her more- although as a 35 year old adult I can see that this is unlikely to happen , perhaps she cant. I have tried to speak to her on the subject of adoption- pointing out that it would give the child a much better start in life- but she just will not listen to anyone except her boyfriend, who I personally think doesnt have a clue, despite beoing 24 he has rarely worked and prefers to do sweet FA with his life. Hardly Mr Responsible. It was him that was totally anti abortion and told her that they would be together if she kept the baby- as they had actually split up BEFORE she found that she was pregnant

Im well aware that she is a silly girl- but you cant tell them anything at that age

Zoetoes

I don't watch Hollyoaks.

I just get the impression this girl feels like no-one wants to know her at the moment.

Mrsconfused, I agree, you can't make them see, they have to find out for themselves, at 17 they're at that in between bit where they think they're grown up enough so don't need to be told anything but on the other hand they want help with stuff aswell.

I can see it from an adults point of view aswell as a young girls.

Sailor_Sam

I think if she went to see someone at her local,
Womens Aid. They would give advice on housing, emergency accommodation, medical help for the baby, also advice about violence with her boyfriend.

jamespir

mrsconfused wrote: »

The situation is as follows.

17 year old girl who is 4ish months pregnant. The relationship with the boyfriend is very on/off and he is now living 300 miles away. The girl has moved in with him twice now but both times shes needed to come home within a week due to violence etc- last time she ended up in A&E.

She is neither working nor in education- dropped out of college to be with this bloke. Her mother has had enough of the lies, dossing around doing nothing all the time and told her to either register at college ( even on a short course) or get a job or leave- the girl chose to leave and go to the boyfriends.

Now that has gone pearshaped again she is currently sleeping on her grandmothers sofa ( in a one bed flat)- 50 miles from her hometown. She has no money and the grandmother is on benefits so cant really afford to keep her there long term whilst she is contributing nothing

She did have a homeless interview with the council local to her mother but didnt bother attending- she'd already been and produced letter saying she needed to leave, proof of pregnancy etc and the appt was on the day that she was meant to be leaving the family home- but she decided to travel miles and stay with this bloke instead

She has visited the local council to her grandmother who told her to go to her hometown council.

So has anyone got any ideas of how best to sort this situation. The girl doesnt want to return to her hometown, nobody seems interested and she doesnt help matters herself by keep flitting all over the place. Also I do not think shes had any antenatal care apart from dating scan and a scan at the hospital after the violent row with boyfriend. This is due to the fact that she is miles away from her GP and doesnt have a permant address to register with another

so has she looked into pressing charges against the little runt i certainly would i think that somone needs to drag her to the council kicking and screaming if neccacery (of course not to ruff as shes pregnant) then perhaps if she is to "sillY" as other people ahev put it to look after the baby consider the other options either adoption or termination if its not to late

Zoetoes

Sailor_Sam wrote: »

I think if she went to see someone at her local,
Womens Aid. They would give advice on housing, emergency accommodation, medical help for the baby, also advice about violence with her boyfriend.

This would be a good idea, she needs to make her own decision about what to do for the best, either way, someone impartial to talk to would help. She would be given advice and told all options for each aspect.