How to tell a child that their mother has died.

JWM

I'm so sorry, thinking of you.

I was 12 when my Dad died. Mum was in total shock but her recation was never to speak of him again. I actually went to school the next day and when I came home all his stuff had gone, no photos or anything to remind usof him, and his name wasn't mentioned. It felt like he had never existed, sometimes I thought I had dreamt him.

I know its had but please talk to your nephew about as often (or as little) as he needs. Like the idea of a star - his Mum looking down on him. Thats comforting.

I know my Mum handled things badly because of the grief but I still find it hard to deal with.

My Auntie gave me a photo of Dad which has always been beside my bed (Mum has seen it but never commented). Talking to his photo has always helped me.

Good luck to you, it does get easier.

x

loobylou2

Not much I can add to what everyone else has said but I didn't want to read and run. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. I agree with the keeping things simple approach and would let yourself be guided by your nephew. Being there for him is probably the most important thing right now but you also have to allow yourself time to grieve as well..

I trained to be a sick childrens nurse many years ago and I vaguely remember that there was a book called "On Death and Dying" by a lady called Elisabeth Kubler Ross which we had to read and which I think was aimed at children who had been bereaved. I don't even know if it is still in print or where you could get a copy from but if you could track it down it might help you all to cope. Also I understand that CRUSE offer counselling for family members other than bereaved spouses.

Hope this helps, love to you all.

stressedofdevon

I am so sorry for your family's loss. I haven't read all the posts so please excuse me if this has already been suggested. My partner lost his wife in 2002 and was left alone with their small son. The charity Winstons Wish have a good website http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/ which I have used to help me when talking to his little boy about the loss of his Mummy.

My thoughts are with you x

Beki

I also don't know what to say, just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you and your family, and especially of your nephew ((((((big hugs)))))

sarymclary

Hi,

I've PM'd you Zara. If you are feeling in need of any support, or just somewhere you can vent your feelings, then I can recommend here: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=334334

There are a whole bunch of inspirational, strong, amazing people who have all lost loved ones, and support one another through the tough times, and share the good times too. I know you're trying to support and protect your nephew right now, but do remember to take care of yourself, and know that there really are people here who will be there for you.

Sincere sympathies to you and your family at this very difficult time.
S xx

jinky67

just wanted to ((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))) and say how sorry i am for your loss.
As others have said just be honest and hug him tight

love Claire
xxx

nuttywoman

My sympathies to all your family, i`ll be thinking of you all xxx

Glpark01

Im so sorry life can be so cruel, i would say be honest. My son is only 1 but if this happened to me i would want him to be told the truth and make sure he knows he has people around him for support and lots and lots of hugs x x x x x

Incisor

DaisyFlower wrote: »

If he hasnt got any pictures of his mum in his bedroom it might be a good idea to pop a couple in for him.

Well meant but really, don't. Boys just don't think like this, it will most likely come across as a very alien intervention.

Triker

So sorry to hear of your sad news, my condolences to you and yours.
Be honest, be loving, be there.