How to tell a child that their mother has died.

jennyred

didnt want to read and just run.

sending you and your family lots of hugs and sympathy.

I was 10 when my dad died and my brother was 6. I was 16 when my mum died and my brother was 12. I can honestly say that the truth is the best way. even at 6 my brother understood what death was. It helped that they were honest all though their condition. speaking to my brother now (thought i'd give him a call to ask him what he remembered) he said it made him feel like a grown up and that he was now the man of the house. My mum answered all his questions BUT he did not go to the funeral. again he said that he was glad of this. its bad enough trying to deal with his own grief let alone everyone elses. My mum arranged for him to do something fun with a close family friend instead.
what ever you decide to do, you will know that it will be the right way to deal with it.

jenny

moggylover

Could not just read and run. Condolences to you all. I'm not really sure what advice to give that others have not already given, and would add my vote for the simple truth, and that you reassure him that she loved him very much, as do you. Perhaps adding that she is at peace now, and no longer in pain - which seemed to be the only comfort for me when I lost my mum.

Good luck and lots of hugs to you all - it will be a difficult time for a while - but take one day at a time and you will all get through.

xx
Moggy

silvercar

Best wishes to you at a difficult time.

Helpful link:

http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

SandC

So sorry for your loss.

I agree with the others in that honesty is the best policy.

I lost my mum to cancer at age 10. I didn't hear the word 'cancer' until the day after she passed away when my friend's mum mentioned it. At that point it all clicked into place. I think my dad and aunties/uncles hadn't said anything because they thought I/we wouldn't understand. We knew she was unwell but we didn't know how unwell. I understand why they did what they did though.

When dad told us he used the words 'passed away'. In that moment I thought she'd fainted or passed out or something and I was about to question this or go to her bedroom and see her, when I realised what he meant. We all had a little cry.

Wierdly, that same evening I was asking ridiculous questions like 'are you going to get married again'?, which dad was obviously quite shocked at.

Every child is different, but I agree in letting him do things his way. My brother and I didn't cry much. In fact we both went back to school after the funeral (which we didn't attend as dad had decided we shouldn't - in hindsight I wish we had, but at that time if we'd been given a choice chances are we'd have said no anyway) as we wanted normality.

Do talk about his mum though, it makes things easier to process.

I wish you lots of luck, but ultimately with support he will be fine, won't ever forget her, but kids are very resilient.

Rikki

(((((HUGS))))

I've had to tell a child of a close death and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just keep it simple. Look up to the stars at night and tell them they have their own guardian angel forever by their side.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

When my sister died after a long illness. We said god had said she had suffered enough and he had taken away her pain and she was now with him.
We have alway tried to answer their question as openly and honestly as we could without being too complicated or confusing.

Bitsy_Beans

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family, and most especially your nephew.
Life is just too cruel sometimes.

mum=money_under_mattress

sorry for your loss.

My young sisters had some time with the hospice counsellor before my mum died. They were given a pegasus (flying horse) by the counsellor and told that when my mum passed away the pegasus would keep them connected. My sisters were 7 and 10, we worried for them terribly but in all honesty they led the way through our grief and showed us it was ok to laugh again.

salena

Just wanted to stop by and say how very sorry i am for your loss.

I will be thinking of you, your nephew and family at this very sad time.

foreversomeday

Wanted to add that I am also thinking of you.

Someone posted a link to the Michael Rosen "Sad Book" earlier, I think it is a lovely book for children who are grieving. http://www.michaelrosen.co.uk/sadbook.html

cobbingstones

So very very sorry to hear of your sad news. Huge hugs to you all ((((()))))

Thinking of you xxx