How to tell a child that their mother has died.

natalie1974

I too have no advice I am afraid but wanted to offer you and your family a massive hug at this sad time , you are all in my thoughts and prayers , Natalie xxx

MrsTinks

I think honesty is the best approach... You haven't mentioned his daddy? Is he not around to have a say in how his son is told? He may wish to tell him himself?
If the task befalls you then honesty... Don't say mommy has gone away - he might think she's gone away and decided not to take him... It's hard to tell anyone a loved one has died, I've never had to tell a child, but I have had to tell a wife and that nearly broke my heart...
You might want to speak to the hospital or the palative care unit as they will most definitely have some councelling service attached that can help you decide on how to tell her son.

Blessed be in this difficult time.

Loopy_Lobes

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I do some some small experience losing a parent as a child myself. My advice would be after telling him about his mum let him lead how he wants to grieve, don't push 'you can cry' or 'you can talk' on him. If he wants to talk let him talk, if he clams up let him be but keep close to him. Children are funny things and often will comfort in familiar routines even at this awful time so keep him doing things he normally does, if he wants to go to school let him go, if he wants to go out and play let him go etc. He'll eventually want to talk and cry so look out for that point. Don't stop yourself and the rest of your friends and family talking about your sister though, even if he wants to be quiet he'll still benefit from hearing about his mum, especially good stories about her.

I am sure there are books for children on this subject, there is a Michael Rosen one that he wrote about his son dying. Not sure of the title, I'll have a look later.

Loopy x

Loopy_Lobes

This is the Michael Rosen 'Sad' book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Rosens-Sad-Book-Rosen/dp/0744598982

and another book that deals with grief http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sad-Isnt-Bad-Good-grief-Guidebook/dp/0870293214/ref=pd_sbs_b_4

Stephb1986_2

Hi I have no advice but wanted to pass on my condolences to you and your family.

Thinking of you all at this sad time

Steph xx

pinky8

I have no advice either, just wanted to say how sorry we are for you and your families loss.

Thinking of you all at this very sad time,

Becci xxx

robpw2

im sorry for your loss

you could mention to him that you know mommy hasnt been well for sometime now ,

are you or he religious cause you could mention that when someone gets really ill god decides to ease their pain and takes them to heaven and looks after them.

Maybe you should tell him the truth , althought he is only 8 he may be a lot more understanding than you think .

I hope that you are getting all the support you need right now and i wish you and your family all the best in this incredibly difficutlt time

DaisyFlower

My deepest sympathies. However you do it will be hard, just be truthful yet simple. Agree with the point of not saying she has gone to sleep forever, this can really frighten children.

It may not really sink in with him for a few days or he may have lots of questions. If he hasnt got any pictures of his mum in his bedroom it might be a good idea to pop a couple in for him.

I lost my mum to cancer at age 10, she was only 28 and still so young with so much left to live for.

My thoughts are with you.

LilMissEmmylou

*hugs*. It must be such a hard time for you all. For me as a Christian, I would go down the path of heaven etc as I find it feels more comforting to know that your loved one is somewhere happier, no longer in pain and the thought of seeing them again one day (hopefully a very very long time away from now). xx

tattoed_bum

oh how heart breaking for you all
try to keep your nephew close to you as he may feel bewildered by all that is going on with funeral arrangements and such ,
try explaining that mummy was very poorly and that she loved him very much but the angels needed her to go live with them .

you will know deep in your heart the best way to approach him

bless you all on at such a sad time