Should I Give my Daughter the Money?

Oldernotwiser

If she goes abroad for a fortnight she'll lose 2 weeks' JSA and be even worse off! I'm another "No".

ailuro2

Another one who thinks she should work for her money....

And monitor your post if you can so you can see if she's applying for credit cards.

The ideas of getting her to work for you aren't bad if she will actually do anything for the money.....

Strapped

She'd be much better off spending the 2 weeks applying for jobs.

My niece failed her degree this summer (and no, I'd never heard of anyone failing in their final year before either) but she's managed to find work.

tesuhoha

It was Chemistry and she found it too difficult and absolutely loathed the course so that she could not face the work but she stuck at it. She has been suffering from depression since she started at uni but even so we were devastated when we found out she had failed completely. She had a job in a shop for a short time at uni but hated that too and gave it up because it was getting her down.

tesuhoha

There is not much work round here but she has been applying for admin work. She has not been successful possibly because of her uni experience. Lately she has been looking for waitress work, as she once worked in McDonalds cooking burgers all summer and she also worked as a waitress in a restaurant but so far there is not much advertised. We have been looking on the Jobcentre site and looking at the local paper and she has been to various agencies and is now emailing her cv to agencies. She has 4 A Levels, Maths, English, Physics and Chemistry. 1 A and three Bs.

feelinggood_2

Is she getting treatment for her depression?

tesuhoha

I just did a jobcentre search for waitresses and not one job came up for our town. There were two for a town quite a long bus ride away.

tesuhoha

feelinggood wrote: »

Is she getting treatment for her depression?

She went to the doctor a while back and came out with a prescription for anti-depressants. She only went because I made the appointment and she was not willing to talk about it further. Since the antidepressants ran out I have not bothered and nor has she to make another appointment. I was not happy she was on them and she is better than she was when she was at uni.

Strapped

I studied Chemistry (although I loved it ) and it's a huge leap/very different to A Levels so I can sympathise. But she's obviously very bright if she has those A level grades. Is she getting treatment for her depression? As it sounds as though that's what's holding her back. Difficult to be positive after feeling that you've "wasted" three years though.

ETA: I cross-posted with you and feelinggood. I think that it would be worth going back to the doctors and asking for therapy (CBT) as well as / instead of the anti-depressants. Also, they take a while to work and the doctor needs to keep seeing her so I'd encourage her to work on that for now. (And I still don't think that going away for 2 weeks would be good).

thursdaynext

How come everyone's being so judgemental over someone failing a degree!?

My brother's just failed. He chose the wrong course, but - rather than admit making a mistake - he tried, he worked, he was expecting a pass. But he didn't get it.

Not one of his tutors suggested to him that he could change his course, until he was in his last year, when it was too late. He probably felt too embarrassed to ask us for help when he started to struggle - by the time he accepted he needed to do something, it was too late.

FWIW I wouldn't pay for him, or the OP's daughter, to go on holiday - but I don't make judgements about him and I certainly don't tell him he should have worked harder. He should have made better decisions, but which of us has never made a wrong decision?

He's working to put it right, looking to find a job, trying to transfer his credits to the Open University so he can study while working to finish his degree. Does that sound like someone who's afraid of hard work?!

OP - not aimed at you, I don't think it sounds like you're saying this at all but everyone seems to be queuing up to tell you she's taking the p1ss. Only you (and she) know why she failed, so don't let other people turn you against her!