Should I Give my Daughter the Money?

FairyElephant_2

As she has no job, no money and has finished with Uni, I guess she is living back at home with you? I assume in this case that she does some chores around the house?

If she really can't find any work, and you think the holiday would be good for her (I think you said she was in a bit of an emotional state - maybe getting away where she can think & consider her options is a good thing?) then could you 'employ' her to be your 'housemaid' for a couple of weeks? You could get her to do ALL the housework etc, and pay a reasonable hourly rate.....you & hubby get a rest from chores, she earns the money for a holiday (and gets a taste of 'work' - don't be too soft on her - make sure she grafts! - she may even decide that a supermarket shelf-stacker is less hard work!).

Just an idea.....

Sarahsaver

In short, no.

BTW if she cant even afford the flight what would she spend whilst there? is there enough time for her to get a job to pay for it? short term, agency work for instance?

John_3:16

I think you have the oppertunity to make a point. If you ask her what she can do for you both to help pay the money off than she is making the decision. If she gets back and does not live up to her promise then you can come back to it if it ever happens again. Because we do not know how much she is trying it is your call

Scarlett1

tesuhoha wrote: »

To be perfectly honest, she hasnt actually asked me to give it to her. She has just been upset and agonising over how she could get the money and its difficult to listen to.

If your daughter knows you easily give in then she will be doing this on purpose, she is an adult now and has to learn how to survive in the real world, if you do cave in then make it a loan that needs to be paid back when she gets a job as soon as she gets back from holiday, and hold her to it

pinkshoes

I had 2 whole months after finishing uni and starting graduate job, with not a penny to my name, and desparately needed money to get my car on the road and go on holiday with my mates.

JSA was pathetic, but my parents paid £4.50 an hour. I chopped logs, weeded the garden, trimmed the hedge, mowed the lawn, polished the floors, scrubbed the mould in the bathroom with a toothbrush, ran errands, sanded and varnished the windows.

You name it, I did it. (This was on top of the "normal" chores I was expected to do i.e. washing up, keeping my room clean etc...)

I made enough for my car insurance AND my holiday! (and yes, I really did appreciate it!)

Doom_and_Gloom

I wouldn't give her the £130 to be honest. You have most likely paid thousands of pounds to send her through uni. You've done more than enough and it is just tough that she can not afford to go on this 'free' holiday. She would ask for more than the £130 as others have said to pay for food, nights out ect on this holiday. She'd be asking for at least £200 for the flight and money for two weeks. It doesn't sound like alot but on top of what you have already paid it IS and if she had a job that would be many days of work to pay for it all and I'm sure she would re-think the offer in that situation don't you?

She is living rent free, you are paying for her food and anything else she has that costs money. She is in her 20's she is not a teenager. This means you need to treat her as if she is an adult and adults pay their way. Has she looked into temping jobs with an agencey? They are not the greatest but most of the time they have work that you can start within days sometimes the day you ask if you are lucky! Easier to get a job when you have a job and all that jazz. She would have to stay at the temp place for a while but 3 months there should show other places that she is willing to work etc.

kazwookie

Local job paper
get her to up date her cv, and go round the local shops / industrial unit who might looking for staff
Major supermakets always want staff
Local restaurants

What are her interests, get her out to do voluntary work as well

If you do pay for her to go on hols, what is she going to use for food / beach money/ etc?

funky-footprints

I think if she were desperate she could find a job, even it is bar work, or waiting tables. Id say no !!!! she is an adult not a child.

a friend of ours got a full time job within an hour of landing back in his home town, after being in USA for 5 years, before he even saw his parents he went to a temping agency.

belfastgirl23

I think the fact that your daughter was considering taking out a credit card to go on holiday despite having no money to pay back the debt is worrying. Not going may be a bitter lesson for her to take but I think you need to step back and let it happen. The fact that she hasn't asked you for the money also makes me think that she is taking very little responsiblity for finding it (in her shoes I would have come to you and asked if there was any way we could work something out, either a repayment plan or working for the money).

if it is hard to stick to, just keep in mind it's for her own good longer term.

And the others are right re spending money. I can't see two girls of that age going to portugal for 2 weeks and not going clubbing...

tootiefrooties

Hahaha she spent 3 years dossing through uni, having her rent paid, not doing any work (failing requires a LOT of negligence!), not having a job and now she needs a 2 week holiday in portugal????? :rotfl: the poor girl is obviously overworked, why not give her a month in the seychelles?