Should I Give my Daughter the Money?

tesuhoha

My daughter has just left university. She failed her degree. We paid her way, rent and fees and she has a student loan and an overdraft but no other debt. Currently she has been unable to find a job and she has no money at all. My husband and I have decided not to give her any because giving her money it doesnt seem to do her any good. We are trying to repay our own debts and then save to renovate our house which is in sore need of attention.

However, a friend of hers has offered her a two week stay in her parents' luxury villa in Portugal, rent free. She only has to find the flights which are approximately £130. She was going to take out a credit card but I have said to her that this is a bad idea as she has no job and wont be able to meet the repayments. If she cant pay for the flights then she wont be able to go on the holiday. I feel as if we're being really mean about this as £130 is not a lot of money. What shall i do?

pukkamum

Well personally i would say tough luck, if you want to go on holiday you should get a job.
I know it sounds a bit mean but sometimes a bit of tough love is needed!

Idiophreak

It depends...if you really think she's trying to get a job, isn't just being a lazy loafer, (ie doesn't really deserver "punishing" I'd probably lend her the cash - and say that it can come out of her first pay packet...

amandada

What's she going to live on while she's there?
I honestly don't think you'd do her any favours, having failed her degree and failed to get a job, if you pay for her to go on holiday.

WebJunkie007

It's clear that you love your daughter and sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. She'll never learn to stand on her own two feet if you keep supporting her.

Surfbabe

IMO - no don't pay her fare as it won;t stop there - she will need spending money etc.

Idiophreak

I was just about to add what amandada said, too...the chances of her *only* needing to borrow the money for the flight are ZERO.

beer_tins

You could lend it to her, so she knows she won't get free money from you. Then she can pay it back when she has a job. Be prepared to kiss the money goodbye though, at least for a while!

tesuhoha

Thanks. Youve all just strengthened my resolve.

tesuhoha

beinerts wrote: »

You could lend it to her, so she knows she won't get free money from you. Then she can pay it back when she has a job. Be prepared to kiss the money goodbye though, at least for a while!

I was tempted to do this but my husband is against it as he doesnt think it will do her any good.

John_3:16

Only you can say if it will do the trick? My 16yr old has just got 3 nights a week a tesco Jobs are out there as long as you are willing to do whatever comes along. Has she tried as hard as you would like?

Do you thnk she tried at Uni?

Only you can make the decision?

Both mine have had mobile contracts in my name but have always paid up on time they know if they want something they have to work for it. If they do buy something, I may help with a gift afterwards.