Should I Give my Daughter the Money?

jillie1974

hi OP have you made your decision..
how is your daughter??

angelatgraceland

Your dd sounds just like mine except mine didnt stick the course for 3 years. Be on the lookout for any mailings from credit card companies too! Mine took out bank loans and told them she was working apart from the student loan. Did a few jobs before she went to uni(this is the 3rd uni course)but got sacked from every one-or "redundant" was the word she used. Also suffers from depression and drinks too much.
Only give her the money if its gonna be a gift-but be prepared that she may still get the creditcard behind your back as she will then need spending money! Not saying she is devious but just relaying my own experience.
My dd got evicted from uni accomodation for not paying her rent for 6 months and hoped Id write out the cheque. This time Id had enough and said NO. So I had to move her out with only 2 hrs notice(my daughter didnt tell me til zero hour). She still owes the money and now is starting a temporary job to pay her debts. Tough love is what I recommend-but I know-its so difficult when its your own kids. Good luck.

patchwork_cat

CAn she not retake her final year? She may hate her course, but she would then be able to move onto non degree realted career. What did she plan on doing with her Chemistry degree? My brother has a chemistry degree and is a teacher in an FE college. You say you weren't happy about her being on anti- depressants - why and with all due respect it really isn't for you to say whether you are happy or not about your adult daughters medication. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, as physical a reason for illness as a broken leg - just not visible.

The only person who can answer the question about the £130 is you. She does sound like she has been through the mill and she is probably VERY stressed and if she already has depression she will be feeling awful. Can she enrol on law now? I will just say though she does have to combat her depression.

It is very common amongst uni students to change courses mid term. All 3 of myself, brother and half sister did! So don't feel she should have stuck at her original degree or that she has burnt her boats by failing .

Princess_Jane

If there is a Domino's pizza shop where you live they are always looking for staff.

I've been delivering pizzas for three years while working my full-time job.

It really got me down at first - 60 hour weeks, mopping floors on a Fri night, me with two degrees and two professional qualifications in my chosen career.

But, here I am, nearly debt-free and with the priceless pride of knowing I got off my backside and sorted my own schizzle out, where as a few years ago I would probably have run to my parents for help.

Barny1979

How much does Dominoes pay?

Princess_Jane

Barny1979 wrote: »

How much does Dominoes pay?

it varies as the stores are run by franchisees.

Up here in the grim north I get just over min wage, plus £1 for each delivery and all the tips I can smile for!

We get a free small pizza for working more than four hours, which I take home and freeze for emergency teas, and there are always spare pizzas kicking about to snack on.

And at the end of the tax year drivers can claim tax relief on their mileage, which normally comes to £400 for me.

elljay20

hey,

only read first and last pages but i would not give her the money (op). there are plenty of jobs about if you're not lazy or too picky! when i was at college i also worked a bar job. when i needed extra cash i cleaned toilets, shop floors, whatever. she could easy make £130 in part time jobs.

i probably would have relented and given her spending money if my daughter had worked at anything she could find to pay for the holiday.

plus, if she gets off her !!!! and does some work it would probs help with any depression she may feel, when you're busy you have less time to wallow in self pity!!

barnaby-bear

thursdaynext wrote: »

How come everyone's being so judgemental over someone failing a degree!?
He's working to put it right, looking to find a job, trying to transfer his credits to the Open University so he can study while working to finish his degree. Does that sound like someone who's afraid of hard work?!

OP - not aimed at you, I don't think it sounds like you're saying this at all but everyone seems to be queuing up to tell you she's taking the p1ss. Only you (and she) know why she failed, so don't let other people turn you against her!

I think there's a key point here - the credit accumulation and transfer scheme (used to be called CATs) - if she failed her finals she passed two years and can transfer those to somewhere like the OU and later maybe do the final year in something she likes. The OU do a general degree so it's quite possible she could only need to do 120 points part time to get a degree and doing courses she likes...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credit_Accumulation_and_Transfer_Scheme

meester

Princess_Jane wrote: »

it varies as the stores are run by franchisees.

Up here in the grim north I get just over min wage, plus £1 for each delivery and all the tips I can smile for!

We get a free small pizza for working more than four hours, which I take home and freeze for emergency teas, and there are always spare pizzas kicking about to snack on.

And at the end of the tax year drivers can claim tax relief on their mileage, which normally comes to £400 for me.

hmm, I'm not really big on tipping.

But you just made me realise that a pound probably means more to the drivers than it does to me.

Tips from now on for the pizza people!

Princess_Jane

meester wrote: »

hmm, I'm not really big on tipping.

But you just made me realise that a pound probably means more to the drivers than it does to me.

Tips from now on for the pizza people!

It's always nice when customers tip, especially when it's hoying down with rain, pitch black, and none of the houses in the street have door numbers!

I never expect tips, but often find houses in areas like where I grew up - apparently disadvantaged council estates - will often give you a couple of quid extra, whereas it's the big, immaculate palaces where you'll stand while they count out the exact pennies.

Then there's the female customers who have been known to answer the door wearing very little - I don't know what they're expecting, but they ain't getting it from me, LOL.