Divorce??

helpMe_2-2

Shineyhappy wrote: »

Have you seen a solicitor? I really would work out some figures his share of the equity in the house and also what he would be paying in maintenance according to the CSA. Does he really want to get lumbered paying that every month for the next X years? You might find if he wants to set up a new life with this lady then she might want spoiling for the honeymoon period and you saying there is a cheque for Xk might be too tempting to say no to.

the house next door is pretty much the same as ours and is on the market for £415k. Our mortgate is £270k, so minus that and my £80k deposit leaves £65k to split between us. I have offered this to him and he says no.

onlyroz

He thinks he's in control of the situation. You need to arm yourself with the legal information to prove to him that, infact, you are in control. To do this, you must seek legal advice as to your position.

Shineyhappy

helpMe wrote: »

the house next door is pretty much the same as ours and is on the market for £415k. Our mortgate is £270k, so minus that and my £80k deposit leaves £65k to split between us. I have offered this to him and he says no.

How many kids do you have and what are their ages? He will need to pay for them. Does he realise this? Get talking to the CSA and ask what he should be paying, if possible get the info in writing and show him.

Do you know if he has any plans with this woman?

Shineyhappy

Attack is the best form of defence as they say.

Debt_Free_Chick

helpMe wrote: »

the house next door is pretty much the same as ours and is on the market for £415k. Our mortgate is £270k, so minus that and my £80k deposit leaves £65k to split between us. I have offered this to him and he says no.

Then just go and see a solicitor. What you have suggested is likely to be the outcome of all this - it's what your solicitor will agree to, if it's what you want and you can afford it.

He can't force you out of the house. You can't physically evict him if he won't go of his own accord, but your solicitor will get an Occupation Order if necessary, which is a Court order stating YOU and the kids stay in the house and he has to go. End of.

See a solicitor.

Shineyhappy

Or have you thought about calling his bluff? See a solicitor, start divorce procedings and file an application for maintence and what you what from the divorce. When he starts getting all the legal letters through he might find your offer more attractive and if he can see you arent that bothered about the house he might not be either.

r.mac_2

onlyroz wrote: »

He thinks he's in control of the situation. You need to arm yourself with the legal information to prove to him that, infact, you are in control. To do this, you must seek legal advice as to your position.

onlyroz is soooo right here. You need to look after yourself and your children right now. I would go and see a solicitor - take an hour of work if you can and see someone asap. CAB are very helpful and most solicitors will give you 1/2 initial appointment for free. The more you understand what legal position you have the stringer this will make you feel and appear to your husband. I get the impression he's banking on you believing what he tells you.

Good luck, keep posting and remember that you are strong and will get through this x

helpMe_2-2

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your advice. We have two children aged 12 and 3. Its just hell living at home at the moment with him as he is being so mean to everyone. I really cant understand why as HE was the one that did wrong. I've begged him to leave the home so me and the kids can just move on and be happy.

Shineyhappy

helpMe wrote: »

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your advice. We have two children aged 12 and 3. Its just hell living at home at the moment with him as he is being so mean to everyone. I really cant understand why as HE was the one that did wrong. I've begged him to leave the home so me and the kids can just move on and be happy.

:eek: Ok no more begging!!!!! This will make him think he is in a position of power and some people like to play games and he thinks he is winning when you beg.

My ex beat me up and I begged him to leave, it didn't work as he enjoyed toying with me. Luckily (in a way) he hit me again I called the police and he asked if I would drop the charges if he left and sold me his share of our flat.

Have you made a solicitors appointment yet? This is a MUST! Try for this afternoon or Monday.

The other reason he might be staying is that he isnt sure if he totally wants your relationship to end so he maybe bullying you to keep you in your place so he has a home and a family if things dont go to plan.

You need to stand up to him and take control. If you want him gone you will need to fight for it and begging will only make him nastier. You can legally hit him far harder than he can hit you and he must know that. If I were you I would go for the jugular and get a solicitor to send him divorce papers asap.

floss2

helpMe wrote: »

......I've begged him to leave the home .......

Sorry for shouting so loudly but.....NO PARTNER IS WORTH BEGGING FOR!!!

Just say "OK, if thats what you want", go see a solicitor, start proceedings & sit back & wait for him to pack.

Oh, and put that video onto a DVD & give it to your solicitor, along with scans of phone bills, emails etc ASAP so if he wipes the hard drive, you have still got the evidence.