Divorce??

Debt_Free_Chick

helpMe wrote: »

thats what he said

Ignore him. In these situations many men tend to focus on material things, with the result that "if I can't have it, then you're not having it". But you are both entitled to your fair share of the total assets from the marriage.

it then boils down to how the assets are apportioned between you. One option is for him to have cash (from you) and for you to have the house.

The divorce process is biased towards leaving the mother and kids in the house, wherever possible.

ignore him .... trust me. And see a solicitor!

onlyroz

Don't think it's true that if he leaves you all have to leave. Think you need to speak to a solicitor about your options. If he did leave then perhaps you could take in a lodger?

And yes, if you did get divorced then you'd probably have to give him money equivalent to his share of the house - but assuming you get custody of the kids then he'd have to pay you maintenance.

onlyroz

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

The divorce process is biased towards leaving the mother and kids in the house, wherever possible.

Not so true any more. The process is biased towards whoever has been the primary care-giver of the children. Usually, but not always, the mother.

Debt_Free_Chick

onlyroz wrote: »

Not so true any more. The process is biased towards whoever has been the primary care-giver of the children. Usually, but not always, the mother.

Yes, you're right. Sloppy posting from me as it seemed to be the case here that OP is the primary-carer.

Shineyhappy

From what you posted I would try and get a settlement where instead of maintence the money you buy him out with is decreased. He sounds like if you said "Walk away and I will give you say 15k and you will never have to give me any money ever again" then it will him "freedom" and he can go and play and act like a selfish so and so.

He maybe saying you can't have the house, but does he really want to go through a long court case to stop you having it and end up paying maintence through the CSA or would he rather just get given a cheque and walk away?

I would stand up to his bullying tactics and go and see a solicitor. If he threatens you then go to the police and keep records of anything you can. If he sends you nasty texts then keep them.

He sounds like a real jerk if he wants to kick the kids out of their home!

helpMe_2-2

robpw2 wrote: »

Oh are you sure its not just a joke , the thing that was incredible was "the thing" i was just suggesting he could have fixed her tv or bought her some batteries for her rabbit etc.. she would be smiling then

Its not a joke. She sent him videos of herself (use your imagination!) which he stored on my computer. His phone statement proves that he was messaging her at least 8 times a day.

helpMe_2-2

I am the primary carer. he works nights so picks up the kids from school on monday then looks after them on Friday - thats it. I've offered time and time again just to give him the money to go and he wont. He says there is NO WAY I'll get to stay in the house. end of.

Shineyhappy

I would keep a copy of that video just incase, the court might need to see what sort of material he was letting your children have access to!

robpw2

helpMe wrote: »

Its not a joke. She sent him videos of herself (use your imagination!) which he stored on my computer. His phone statement proves that he was messaging her at least 8 times a day.

ah in that case just bin him.. forget all his excuses . Get yourself a lodger to help pay the mortgage and thn fight him for every penny he has

Shineyhappy

helpMe wrote: »

I am the primary carer. he works nights so picks up the kids from school on monday then looks after them on Friday - thats it. I've offered time and time again just to give him the money to go and he wont. He says there is NO WAY I'll get to stay in the house. end of.

Have you seen a solicitor? I really would work out some figures his share of the equity in the house and also what he would be paying in maintenance according to the CSA. Does he really want to get lumbered paying that every month for the next X years? You might find if he wants to set up a new life with this lady then she might want spoiling for the honeymoon period and you saying there is a cheque for Xk might be too tempting to say no to.