Real-life MMD: Should I rat on my ex?

Former_MSE_Penelope · 3 April 2012 at 4:27PM

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I rat on my ex?

My ex asked his mum to buy him a car so he could pick up our kids for visits. She agreed and chose the car herself to make sure it was reliable. Now he has traded in the car (worth about £3,000) for an old banger (£400) and pocketed the difference. She lives miles away so has no idea. He hasn’t offered any money to help out with the kids. His mum is a good friend of mine, should I tell her?

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Laura13214 · 4 April 2012 at 9:15AM

I don't believe it can be seen as 'ratting' surely if he's swapped a reliable £3k car for an old banger the 'new' car can't be safe. Your ex's mum should/would be grateful for being told that her son's driving her precious grandchildren around in a potential death trap. Tell her - you want your kids to be safe as well don't you.

shop-to-drop · 4 April 2012 at 9:17AM

Well I would!

DaftyDuck · 4 April 2012 at 9:20AM

She wanted her grandkids to be safe.
You want your kids to be safe.
Shared interest here. So long as you stick to this side, not the "ratting on ex", she should be told.

N.I.M · 4 April 2012 at 9:20AM

If it was my daughter I'd be getting a court order to ban him putting her in the car and possibly seeking to deny access. He is PUTTING YOUR KIDS LIFE AT RISK!!!

Tell his mum, dad, brothers, sisters, postman, friends, boss and everyone else you can think of. If he cant put his kids before his pocket he doesnt deserve to be near them.

whitewing · 4 April 2012 at 9:22AM

Presumably the car has an MOT and insurance? If so, then what are you going to gain, apart from passing on a bit of misery? He's presumably used the money for something so he is not going to buy another decent car.

Perhaps his £400 car cost him £400 but is worth more? If he knows about cars then he may be able to fix a bargain.

anjak-j · 4 April 2012 at 9:22AM

I'd definitely tell her.

hbowles · 4 April 2012 at 9:29AM

Tell her, Tell her, Tell her!!!!!!!
For starters the kids safty comes first and then he has just ripped off his own mother who was good enough to buy him a car at the drop of a hat!!

A.Jones · 4 April 2012 at 9:33AM

I don't see what it has to do with you. If the "old banger" passed its MOT then it is safe to drive.

Reliability is down to the car. So long as the car is safe to drive, then real road safety is down to the driver. A reliable car is not necessarily safe - it depends on the driver.

fairynuf · 4 April 2012 at 9:34AM

You state he hasn't offered you any money to help out with the kids. If you took a share of this money it would make you as bad as him. His mother has done a very responsible thing by buying a decent car to transport her grandchildren. It is important that she is informed of the irresponsible action which her son has taken. If she is a good friend of yours it should be easy for you to telephone her and let her know as you are concerned about her being ripped off by her son and the safety of the children being transported in an old banger by a greedy self-centred parent.

antonia1 · 4 April 2012 at 9:35AM

I would keep well clear - she may be a good friend of yours, but meddling in mother-son relationships is done at your peril. As long as the car has an MOT then it could be as safe (or dangerous) as the previous car. A car may be old, cheap and perfectly safe.

Real-life MMD: Should I rat on my ex?

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