Is it just women who get caught up with the whole "fairy tale wedding"?

I wan't one who planned her wedding as a girl. Being married, yes, but not a clue as to how the event would be. I think this is largely due to my father telling me from about 5 years old that going up the aisle was the easy part - the living happily ever after was much harder! (His other saying about weddings was 'Old Scottish proverb. Always marry for love - you can borrow money cheaper....)

My own wedding was a registry ceremony followed by a buffet lunch at my parents house. This was partly due to budget constraints, but also because I felt it was hypercritical of me to get married in a church when I wasn't a churchgoer.

happyandcontented wrote: »

It is possible to have both a really nice, big, posh (if you want to use that term) wedding and a long, happy marriage;)

I think that those who feel that the two are mutually exclusive are perhaps feeling that having a small, cheap wedding day is morally superior as it they feel displays that they care more about the marriage than the day, but that is not always the case!!

Alikay wrote: »

There is a lot of that joyless attitude on this forum

:shocked::shocked:
If thats all the pair of you got from what i wrote then it says a lot more about you than it does me.
Rude much!

Interesting replies.

My perspective is that its down to personal choice, and personality, and I guess men are just as individual as women! Some want involvement and some don't. Some people want a big wedding and some don't, there is no right or wrong way.I personally do not think the scale of the wedding dictates if the marriage will last! That is all down to attitude, effort in working at the marriage and personality/ compatibility.

I am getting married next year for the second time, and yes, we are having a big wedding as far as it is a ceremony in a castle and then a reception in the local town hall, in a beautiful room, and I am having the full white dress thing, we are having vintage 1950's cars, photographer, room decorator, professional caterers and cake, entertainment and evening dj etc, but it certainly is a considered choice, rather than 'getting caught up' in the whole wedding thing, we are both really looking forward to it, and have planned it together, although my dress will be a secret until the day lol!

We are paying for it all ourselves, we both already own property and we live on my fiance's houseboat. Our adult children are all being involved, we have 6 daughters and a son between us, my son is walking me down the aisle and the girls are all bridesmaids. My partner's little grandson will also be there, as will my two nephews who will be ushers, which they are very pleased about!

My first wedding was a church wedding, followed by a reception in the church hall next to the church, we had caterers, one car, flowers, photographer, and we were married for 31 years before separation and later divorce. My ex husband was not involved with the wedding planning at all, all he had to do was turn up.

I was not looking for another long term relationship when I met my fiance online, just dating and fun times, but we hit it off as soon as we met, we just get on so well, and we fell in love almost straight away. 2 years on, after living together for more than a year, we still do, and the wedding is going to be a celebration of that, no more and no less.

I am an emotional person, so I know I am going to cry, and quite honestly I feel so lucky to have met someone who I love so much and loves me back in equal measure. He is emotional too, but is not publicly over emotional so I will be very surprised if he has tears on the day, even though he loves me so much. I am very much on the waterproof mascara scale!

The kind of wedding we are having is simply what we both want, a big celebration, and to share that day with family and friends will be so wonderful.

It is costing in the region of about £12,000 and we are going camping in France for our honeymoon, simply because that is what we love to do.

I respect the fact that for many our kind of day is not their choice, and if you truly love someone that is all that matters, and a small wedding is just as lovely, but for us the choice was what it is.

It is certainly true that I would love to feel like a princess on my wedding day, if that means to feel really special, yes indeed, and I will be spending hundreds rather than thousands on a dress to do that, and if that makes some people think me shallow, I am of an age and maturity to not really care. We are both happy with what we have chosen to do.

The main reason for our choice of day is to share our love and our wedding day with those we care about, and at 55 years old each, that is what we would like to do and we choose to spend our money this way.