Is it just women who get caught up with the whole "fairy tale wedding"?

BrassicWoman

Yes. All women are the same and all men are the same.

Mummy2cheekymonkeys

I hate what weddings have become to be honest. It all seems to be who can spend the most money and have the biggest day. It doesn't even stop there. The hen and stag do's are bigger and more expensive occasions then most people's weddings used to be. My husband and I got married in January. It was jus us and 2 witnesses. My dress cost £30 and he wore a suit he already owned. After having my children I just wanted the security of being married and having the same name as them. I would much rather spend the money on something for the whole family then one day. We still have our certificate at the end of the day whether it cost us £100 or £10,000 to get it.

ska_lover

Literally the thought had never crossed my mind til he proposed, and I was gobsmacked, never saw it coming

I didn't even dream about meeting a single person I wanted to spend my life with, nevermind a wedding day

I did look at the weddings board on here, at the time, for ideas. And there was actually a thread called:- 'How to stay sane whilst waiting for him to propose'[/I - was the last time I looked on the weddings board

We had a Registry office wedding, and a reception in a local club, with buffet food. We spent just under 2k.

Never had a honeymoon. We couldn't afford one, but contented that we had got wed

happyandcontented

Mummy2cheekymonkeys wrote: »

I hate what weddings have become to be honest. It all seems to be who can spend the most money and have the biggest day. It doesn't even stop there. The hen and stag do's are bigger and more expensive occasions then most people's weddings used to be. My husband and I got married in January. It was jus us and 2 witnesses. My dress cost £30 and he wore a suit he already owned. After having my children I just wanted the security of being married and having the same name as them. I would much rather spend the money on something for the whole family then one day. We still have our certificate at the end of the day whether it cost us £100 or £10,000 to get it.

I know I risk being flamed here, but historically, most people were not in that position when they married so that was not a factor. We got engaged, saved for a house, bought a house, got married and had children, that was the norm, and for many couples (albeit they sensibly perhaps, live together first, today) it still is.

HampshireH

Nope, wedding this year.

Would be happy to go to registry office and disappear. However we agreed on semi traditional. So all at a hotel. Very reasonable price.

No wedding party. No fanfare. Just ticking the boxes with the registrar, meal and party with snacks in the evening all in the same room with a bar.

Other thing we both insisted on was a photo booth equivalent & a decent photographer. Purely because we dont want our phones for cameras and we get a copy of every photo taken of our family in the booth.

Dress was 1st one tried on there and then. Music 1st off a CD. Veil was off eBay for 60p and when asked if it was a good one the answer was it will be on the back of the head so who cares

Very non materialistic. Never cared for planning in advance or a princess day

borkid

Hermia wrote: »

I think it is pushed as being the ultimate achievement for women. Girls are brought up with all these fairy stories that end with a wedding and a big dress. I have seen friends talk to their little girls about weddings and getting married. I don't notice the same thing happening with little boys. I have also noticed that getting married is still often seen as the most important event for a woman. I have a friend who within the space of a year got married, finished her PhD and climbed Kilimanjaro. She was baffled that she got waaayy more praise and attention for getting married than the other two things even though they required a lot more work/effort to achieve.

If I ever get married I hope to just slip off and have a small quiet wedding.

+
I thought we'd moved past that. How can women hope to be taken seriously if that is the perception of their crowning achievement?
Well done to your friend what great achievements ( apart from the marriage ).


I didn't really want to get married but OH did, then parents wanted it to be a church wedding. Ended up with 30 guests and my dress bought in the sales, still not good enough for the family but tough. Despite dire warnings we're still together 45 years on. Too many people confuse the wedding with the marriage.

ska_lover

happyandcontented wrote: »

I know I risk being flamed here, but historically, most people were not in that position when they married so that was not a factor. We got engaged, saved for a house, bought a house, got married and had children, that was the norm, and for many couples (albeit they sensibly perhaps, live together first, today) it still is.

Historically, there were not same s*x marriages either - but times changed + for the better with open-mindedness and acceptance to how others want to live (for the most part)

I genuinely do not think there is any such thing as 'the norm' these days

Kim_kim

Loanranger wrote: »

Nope, nor me. The princess syndrome has never been in my life plan. I put it all down to poor parenting, spoiling the little princess and to clever marketing, and keeping up with the slebs in hello magazine. Have had two weddings, both v modest dos and no white frock for me at either event. I made my own outfit the first time, needed the money for a deposit on a house and second time splashed out by going to a shop and buying an outfit off the shelf. Had some fancy Gina shoes and bag,though. They crippled me nearly but looked nice, as is the way !

I had a maternity dress 31 years ago :rotfl:
It was a registry office.
My second wedding 8 years later was supposed to be in a church, but we separated shortly before the wedding & we cancelled everything. We reconciled and rebooked for the same day in a register office, we decided to book again, but this way it meant we could still do the honeymoon.
Anyway, I went out and bought a modest navy skirt suit - so still no big dress.

happyandcontented

ska_lover wrote: »

Historically, there were not same s*x marriages either - but times changed + for the better with open-mindedness and acceptance to how others want to live (for the most part)

I genuinely do not think there is any such thing as 'the norm' these days

Each to their own, but my point was in response to the quote regarding 'wanting the security of marriage after having children' and the advisability of having considered that earlier or even to consider whether marriage per se, rather than the quality of the relationship would provide that.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

I know I risk being flamed here, but historically, most people were not in that position when they married so that was not a factor. We got engaged, saved for a house, bought a house, got married and had children, that was the norm, and for many couples (albeit they sensibly perhaps, live together first, today) it still is.

And traditionally the bride's Father paid for the wedding.