Is it just women who get caught up with the whole "fairy tale wedding"?

Mrsn

I am not kidding when I say my hubby was more of a bride than me....

He had very specific visions which had to be taken down a peg or two when I said the budget was just not there. I didn’t particularly enjoy most of the planning and made myself a little ill by the end of it.

Absolutely adored the day itself and the memories attached to it but nope couldn’t see me wanting to do it again even if it was to renew vows etc

happyandcontented

I had quite a lavish wedding and it was all very well planned and executed, but the planning only began when I had found the man I wanted to marry, not from childhood!

Many of our friends had similar weddings, however, some were smaller affairs, but I couldn't draw a correlation between big weddings/small weddings and the longevity of the marriages.

I think that although there were wedding magazines around when we married it wasn't the 'big business' which it is today with a myriad of associated retailers having an involvement via Wedding Fayres'. Expectations have increased and all the associated fripperies seem to be really hyped.

We had a church wedding, a Wedding Breakfast at a stately hall, and we did have an evening reception. In total we probably had around 200 guests. It was a lovely day.

8ofspades

I'm a woman and I've never been that fussed about marriage or the wedding. Like you, the only reason we got married was because my partner didn't want kids without being married first. I did see the legal benefits to it financially as well.. not exactly romantic but I was romantic and committed to my other half without the marriage. Our wedding did end up to be a big party, on a budget, but not really like the traditional weddings at all. I even kept my name after - and title - so I didn't have to go through the faff of changing absolutely everything.

LilElvis

I never dreamed of a "princess wedding", though my Mum and sister both had big weddings with all the trimmings and 100+ people. Instead husband and I decided to get married in Las Vegas with 9 friends and family members. Instead of one day going by in a blur we had an amazing wedding week. The ceremony took all of ten minutes to sort out - online booking, drop down menus and added to basket. We watched the video with our eight year old a few weeks ago and she's utterly convinced that Mum and Dad were married by the real Elvis - she's even added "Viva Las Vegas" to her music playlist. It was perfect for us and I still smile whenever I'm reminded of certain moments.

olgadapolga

Mrsn wrote: »

even if it was to renew vows etc

And this is something else I just don't understand - why on earth does anyone need to renew their vows? Surely the one time is enough? Or is it just an excuse to splash the cash again?

Diamandis

I'm a woman and I got married last year. I never dreamed about a big perfect wedding. We had a medium sized wedding and spent approximately £2000. It was a great day. My sister is very different to me and she stressed over everything being perfect when she got married. She spent approx £15000 but my wedding was just as good as hers.

Hermia

JackeeBoy wrote: »

I have just always been curious how so many women dream of this day for when they are little. Where the hell the does this thought process come from? Then again, I could be wrong. Do/did you guys also dream of the "perfect day"?

I think it is pushed as being the ultimate achievement for women. Girls are brought up with all these fairy stories that end with a wedding and a big dress. I have seen friends talk to their little girls about weddings and getting married. I don't notice the same thing happening with little boys. I have also noticed that getting married is still often seen as the most important event for a woman. I have a friend who within the space of a year got married, finished her PhD and climbed Kilimanjaro. She was baffled that she got waaayy more praise and attention for getting married than the other two things even though they required a lot more work/effort to achieve.

If I ever get married I hope to just slip off and have a small quiet wedding.

kangoora

olgadapolga wrote: »

And this is something else I just don't understand - why on earth does anyone need to renew their vows? Surely the one time is enough? Or is it just an excuse to splash the cash again?

Yep, this one gets me as well - I didn't realise there was a time limit on the vows we made in church when we got married.........

Personally, I view it as grandstanding "Look at us, we've been married 30 years and this is to show how much we still love each other!!!!". If that's the case then a simple "I love you" works for me.

Luckily my wife agrees with me

jackieblack

olgadapolga wrote: »

And this is something else I just don't understand - why on earth does anyone need to renew their vows? Surely the one time is enough? Or is it just an excuse to splash the cash again?

kangoora wrote: »

Yep, this one gets me as well - I didn't realise there was a time limit on the vows we made in church when we got married.........

Personally, I view it as grandstanding "Look at us, we've been married 30 years and this is to show how much we still love each other!!!!". If that's the case then a simple "I love you" works for me.

Luckily my wife agrees with me

I agree - unless the marriage has been in trouble and, having overcome the problems, the couple feel a need to recommit..?

MovingForwards

I didn't.
Was planning to marry abroad.
Purchased a second hand wedding dress on my lunch break and my then husband to be said we should do it local instead so immediate family can attend.
Registry office wedding and honeymoon in the UK.

Marriage lasted 13 years.