Is it just women who get caught up with the whole "fairy tale wedding"?

happyandcontented

We had most of those 38 years ago. The only ones we didn't have were the photo booth and the sweet trolley.

onwards&upwards

happyandcontented wrote: »

I suppose it depends on your circle of friends, but I got married 38 years ago and we had a big church wedding, as did all our friends. All of us are still married too!

Weddings used to be church or registry office then on to church Hall or function room somewhere for meal, then reception.

There might have been quite a lot of guests, but it wasn’t excessively expensive.

PasturesNew

"is it just women" implies it's all women.
Many don't give a wedding any of their thought time at all.

Some women must be disinterested.
Some men must be frantically excited.

All behaviours are on a spectrum.

Maybe 80% of women and interested and 20% of men.

PasturesNew

My sibling married 45 years ago.

Two bridesmaids' dresses, simple and made locally by "somebody mum knew"
Hair done at local village salon
Cake, made locally by a woman who made everybody's cakes
Church wedding. Car, photographer.
Wedding dress, I've no idea where that came from.
After that, off to a pub back room for sandwiches/cake and a man playing a bit of background music (dad's workmate) - and into the pub garden for some photos.

All the guests were their friends.
Groom's side I think just his mum/dad/brother.
Bride's side I think just mum/dad and granny.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

No, that is true, but many of my friends had a large retinue of bridesmaids etc, which pushed the cost up and all of us had large Receptions, both during the day and in the evening.

A lot of people back in the day were either handy with a sewing machine or knew somebody who was.
Although I didn't have a white dress, I made my own wedding dress first time around and the dresses of the 2 small bridesmaids.



I think there's a difference between 'big weddings' 30 or 40 years ago and hiring a Scottish castle for the weekend nowadays.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

A lot of people back in the day were either handy with a sewing machine or knew somebody who was.
Although I didn't have a white dress, I made my own wedding dress first time around and the dresses of the 2 small bridesmaids.



I think there's a difference between 'big weddings' 30 or 40 years ago and hiring a Scottish castle for the weekend nowadays.

Yes, undoubtedly weddings are now 'big business' like never before with a nought added to the price of everything the minute the word wedding is mentioned.

However, that is more the norm now and those who want to do it that way are no more or less likely to have their marriages fail than those who nip down to the Registry office and have fish n chips as a wedding meal!!

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

Yes, undoubtedly weddings are now 'big business' like never before with a nought added to the price of everything the minute the word wedding is mentioned.

However, that is more the norm now and those who want to do it that way are no more or less likely to have their marriages fail than those who nip down to the Registry office and have fish n chips as a wedding meal!!

Indeed.
And I've never said that they are more likely to fail.

I certainly don't feel 'morally superior' to anyone who has a more expensive wedding than I did or to anyone who has a cheaper wedding than I did.

If someone wants to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring or on a honeymoon, that's really up to them.

Katapolt

For what its worth i'm a little over half way planning our wedding, and had i had it my way we would be married by now, on our own in the middle of nowhere.

Its my future husband that is so desperate for the big to-do, and as hes paying for 2/3 of it thats fine by me.

Problem is with a wedding these days, EVERYONE has an opinion. Want to cut costs and have a picnic instead of a 3 course sit down meal? Nans going into shock because HOW DARE YOU take that away from her.

Want to elope because it should be about the two of you anyway? Prepare for a mum crying down the phone for 6 months until you relent.

Its the entertaining and pandering to the expectations of others that costs so bloody much!

(Can you tell i don't like wedding planning )

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

Indeed.
And I've never said that they are more likely to fail.

I certainly don't feel 'morally superior' to anyone who has a more expensive wedding than I did or to anyone who has a cheaper wedding than I did.

If someone wants to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring or on a honeymoon, that's really up to them.

No, you haven't, but some other posters have both stated and implied it.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

No, you haven't, but some other posters have both stated and implied it.

But not me.
Neither stated nor implied.

So I don't know why you felt it necessary to quote my post and reiterate that point.