Is it just women who get caught up with the whole "fairy tale wedding"?

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

But not me.
Neither stated nor implied.

So I don't know why you felt it necessary to quote my post and reiterate that point.

I quoted your post as I was agreeing with the point made in the first paragraph.

I then added a general point of my own unrelated to the content of your post(s) but related to the thread.

Is that not how posting usually works?

phoebe1989seb

We married 31 years ago when I was twenty-one (final year of uni) and DH twenty-four. He proposed unexpectedly on Brighton pier when we'd only known each other a few months. Actually, we moved in together within days of meeting :eek:

We obtained a special licence and invited no-one but two friends as witnesses. My parents - I'm an only child - could have easily afforded a huge, expensive wedding for us, but we didn't want that.

DH and I searched for the perfect engagement ring - we both wanted it to be unique and preferably antique. We eventually found an early Victorian mourning ring - I know, talk about morbid, lol - that iirc cost less than £150. Sadly it was stolen during a burglary some years later at which point DH replaced it with something way more extravagant (around £8k...gulp!) and our cheap wedding rings have both been replaced since too.

I was a fashion student so made my own outfit - not a typical white, flowing dress as I was a goth back then, lol - and we picked flowers from the garden of my flat for a bouquet. We married at the local registry office. One of our witnesses was a professional photographer so he took the pics in our garden and on the nearby common. We had a meal to celebrate in a local restaurant - just the four of us. We only told our parents after the event and didn't bother with a honeymoon.

My only regret thirty-one years later is that I've never even tried on a proper wedding dress. Some years back when DS was a cathedral chorister, singing at lots of weddings, DH and I pondered retaking our wedding vows in the cathedral with me in a romantic dress, but never got round to it.

DS and his GF have attended several of these 'fairytale' weddings, of school and uni friends etc - one couple flew everyone out to the States for the ceremony - but despite being able to afford similar themselves, they have no plans to marry at all......like us they got together young (aged 16 in their case) and don't feel the need for a flashy ceremony to prove their love for each other......

Katapolt

I think theres also a huge misconception about weddings being done to be flashy or show off.
Compared to some of my friends weddings mine will probably come across as bigger, but we are both incredibly close to quite a lot of our extended family, and to us the day is about celebrating and thanking everyone for the support they've given us as a couple and as individuals to become who we are.

Its generally just expensive business feeding people and creating an event that makes them all feel appreciated and looked after for a day. Doesnt mean its flashy though, it can be basic but well done.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

I quoted your post as I was agreeing with the point made in the first paragraph.

I then added a general point of my own unrelated to the content of your post(s) but related to the thread.

Is that not how posting usually works?

Not if it causes confusion and implies a poster has an opinion on something that they don't actually hold.
Not in my book anyway.

I thought you'd made your point perfectly adequately on an earlier post.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

Not if it causes confusion and implies a poster has an opinion on something that they don't actually hold.
Not in my book anyway.

I thought you'd made your point perfectly adequately on an earlier post.

Apologies if you (or anyone else) was confused, that certainly wasn't my intent.

However, if I want to reiterate a point, I will.....as do you if you feel it necessary or pertinent to the thread.

Pollycat

Katapolt wrote: »

For what its worth i'm a little over half way planning our wedding, and had i had it my way we would be married by now, on our own in the middle of nowhere.

Its my future husband that is so desperate for the big to-do, and as hes paying for 2/3 of it thats fine by me.

Problem is with a wedding these days, EVERYONE has an opinion. Want to cut costs and have a picnic instead of a 3 course sit down meal? Nans going into shock because HOW DARE YOU take that away from her.

Want to elope because it should be about the two of you anyway? Prepare for a mum crying down the phone for 6 months until you relent.

Its the entertaining and pandering to the expectations of others that costs so bloody much!

(Can you tell i don't like wedding planning )

Anybody attempting to guilt trip me about arrangements would find it impossible to get my heels out of the ground.

For both my weddings my husbands-to-be and I paid for everything.
Quite rare 45 years ago (1st one) but we met and married within 6 months and neither set of parents could afford to help (not that we asked), we were both eldest of 3.

So at both weddings, it was our rules.
At the first one, we dis-invited one couple because they threw a strop because we hadn't invited the brother (who I'd never even met).

GlasweJen

It was my husband who wanted a piper, vintage cars and certain food served at the wedding.

The venue had a piano and I asked if it was tuned, when we found that it was I paid the keyboard player from the band a bit extra to play during the champagne reception.

We paid a fortune for food but that was important to both of us, we have been to so many weddings where you're invited to the ar5e end of nowhere, expected to drive for hours to get there, the ceremony is at lunch time and then you're given a glass of Prosecco and a muffin or a "candy buffet" or something else unsubstantial to keep you going until 3 or 4 (while the bride and groom faff about getting photos done). Then you're herded in for dinner but before they feed you someone drones on for half an hour PER SPEECH and then they serve something tiny on a plate and the evening buffet is a roll and sausage.

You try to get away and get a decent feed but there's nothing nearby and the hotel restaurant isn't serving because it's focused on the wedding! Nightmare, our guests were fed.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

Apologies if you (or anyone else) was confused, that certainly wasn't my intent.

However, if I want to reiterate a point, I will.....as do you if you feel it necessary or pertinent to the thread.

Fill your boots.
As long as you don't mind me pointing out that you are - imo- misrepresenting my opinion.
Personally, I'm always very careful about what & who I quote.

Jimjimmini

I am with the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and we have a baby together but we are not yet married. We both are careful with money but my partner can be more gungho with money than I when she has her heart set on something - makes me worry that, when the day eventually comes, during wedding planning she may get sold on quite a few things that I think unnessary or a waste of money that could be invested in ours and our babies future.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

Fill your boots.
As long as you don't mind me pointing out that you are - imo- misrepresenting my opinion.
Personally, I'm always very careful about what & who I quote.

So am I, but if it is misconstrued then I am not responsible for that. I explained why I quoted you and what the second part of my post related to. If you don't accept that then there really is not much more I can do.