OH wants a separation. I have no job. HELP!
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I've thought about what I can say but yes, he has to answer some as I really can't. I will obviously try to answer any they do ask honestly, but as he's made this decision alone he'll have to answer most of them I think.I think you are doing the right thing in telling the kids now. A few family members are already aware as well as one of his work colleagues and it would be awful if the kids heard it from somewhere else first or even if they thought they were the last to know.
True. Just seems the wrong time just before Xmas. Guess there never is a right time though.
My son was 20 when my marriage ended and he found it very difficult. In some ways its easier when they are younger but of course there is never a 'right' time.
Yes. At this stage I have no clue what is going to happen.
When the kids ask questions as they obviously will be careful that you dont take the full responsibility of trying to answer them. As he has made the decision I think that 'Ask your dad' would be a good response to some of the questions. Dont let him drop the bomb and then walk away into his room whilst you deal with the fallout alone.
Good luck. x
I have a feeling we'll all disperse into our own things again - me downstairs, DD is her room and DS & OH in 'their' room. OH is at work tomorrow (and all week), DD is at college, DS is at home as am I. So we're all over the place for a while.0 -
Tiddlywinks wrote: »Let's not derail the thread by throwing in suspicions of affairs and addiction...
It just doesn't matter.
Regardless of the reason, the husband wants a divorce and the OP needs to accept that decision and deal with the consequences. Sadly, sometimes people want out of relationships and no amount of accusations and navel inspections will change that.
The OP is doing the right thing in finding a job and planning a future for herself - the 'whys and wherefores' of her husband's decision to want 'out' are redundant.
True. Why he wants out is settled. We jut need to think about the future. And not rush anything.0 -
I would also make it clear to your children that it is a decision their father has taken as it will make him happier, or so he thinks and that you love their dad and have to respect his wishes.
If I were you I would say that in front of everyone.
Hope the conversations are not too painful for you or your children.0 -
Off topic , sorry .jackieblack wrote: »She says she'll never forgive him, but the fact I got to keep our home has helped their relationship a lot.
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Forgive him for what ? I hope back then you made it clear to her that he have not in any way let her down and that his personal life ( whether he stays in a couple with you or not) is non of her business. I hope you not only encouraged him to keep in touch but made it clear to her she was very wrong in cutting him off due to him not wanting to live with you.
Poor bloke ended up facing complete breakdown of relationship with children if he taken what was his by law. I would like to see any of those women who fight tooth and nail for all they "entitled to" to suffer similar consequences.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
I would also make it clear to your children that it is a decision their father has taken as it will make him happier, or so he thinks and that you love their dad and have to respect his wishes.
If I were you I would say that in front of everyone.
Hope the conversations are not too painful for you or your children.
I fully intend to back him up with his decision yes. I'm not going to lie and say I wanted this though. But yes he's their dad and I will encourage all I can to keep things going.
As yet we haven't told them. Had dinner, DS is unpacking, moving their computers around to fit.0 -
Well, OK the only one upset there was me.
Apparently we have 2 intelligent children who were 'waiting for it' to happen.
I was obviously blind to it all.0 -
Being blind to it all doesn't make you a bad person. Hopefully knowing the kids are OK will make it slightly easier for you. That at least means you can concentrate on yourself for now.0
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Kinda feel stupid though. I'm the emotional upset angry one. Sitting here on my own.0
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Think of how bad it could have been though. You're right to be angry. You just didn't see what other people seemed to have. You've a new start in life, make the most of it. Hope you're feeling better soon0
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Think of how bad it could have been though. You're right to be angry. You just didn't see what other people seemed to have. You've a new start in life, make the most of it. Hope you're feeling better soon
True. Everyone seems happy but me though. Kinda hurts. Need to take some space I think.0
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