Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing · 22 January 2020 at 9:02PM

Thanks dreaming.
Your right, I have slipped back into old ways.
I will try to be more careful.
It is not my intention to cause issues, it is my pressure cooker letting off steam, and I just tend to write as I feel and think.

I have finished babysitting for Biggest and have come home. DS is not working again so I have left him to put the boys to bed, and come to lay down on my electric blanket as I did 7.4km walking between everything today and I am regretting it as I have ceased up now.
On a plus side Dgd has started to tidy her bedroom! Without an argument.
Long may she listen to her teacher!

I have some curtains coming in to be lined tomorrow, and I forgot to collect the lining from my Mums, so I will have to dash across to get it as soon as the customer has been and get back to sew them as it is a same day turnaround required.
I am a glutton for punishment!
I also didn't manage to get to the accountant so have to fit that little gem in tomorrow too.
Will I ever be organised!! ?

Savvy_sewing · 23 January 2020 at 7:43AM

Another 5.15am wake up and unfortunately both were awake within minutes. So an hour of trying to distract them and keep them from waking up the rest of the household.
I have a single duvet cover full of dirty clothes that Dgd dug out of the abyss of her room as she started to clear her room last night. Guess what I will be doing between sewing jobs today and tomorrow then.
I asked DS to wash up as said it wasn't fair to except Dgd to do it when we were not here to eat it, and she was attacking her own room.
Unless he miraculously wakes up and does it in the next few minutes all he has done is stack them on top of the cooker so the sink is clear!
I dreamt last night that I had an argument with him and gave him 24 hours to get out. So it shows how my subconscious is going.
My patience is running out.

beanielou · 23 January 2020 at 8:08AM

My patience would have evaporated a long time ago.

thorsoak · 23 January 2020 at 9:00AM

That is the way I think things will go, SS - and this time, don't let him back :-( He's not going to learn any other way, is he?

dreaming · 23 January 2020 at 11:37AM

Savvy_sewing wrote: »

Thanks dreaming.
Your right, I have slipped back into old ways.
I will try to be more careful.
It is not my intention to cause issues, it is my pressure cooker letting off steam, and I just tend to write as I feel and think.

Savvy_sewing wrote: »

I dreamt last night that I had an argument with him and gave him 24 hours to get out. So it shows how my subconscious is going.
My patience is running out.

I did wonder whether to say anything as I do get that this is a safety valve for you and I would hate for you to lose that, but not sure how social services might view things.

Re the dream - it sounds as if your mind is telling you that things really do have to change now. It is good that you are escaping to your room when you have the chance to but really you shouldn't have to shut yourself away in your own home. It is something I did when eldest and partner moved in with me after they were made homeless and they got passed back and forth between housing (borough council) and adult social services (county council) with neither authority willing to act. I really resented it though as although my place isn't very big or luxurious I did consider it my little castle and I often felt like getting in the car and just driving away where no-one knew me. Things came to a head one day (due in part to their behaviour) and I exploded and told them they had to get out in 4 weeks. They went back to the council and finally got somewhere to live - temporarily at first but they are now in a council bungalow specially adapted for partner's wheelchair. I sometimes wonder whether they would still be here if I hadn't lost it that day.

Well done to DGD for making the effort with her bedroom.

pollyanna_26 · 23 January 2020 at 12:57PM

I've been thinking about your room Ss and the comfy corner. I like my own space at some point during the day. I know if the little ones head in that direction when they wake early you try to get them back to their own. I would be like the broken record and say that's grannies room , they have their own and so does dgd and keep yours as a no go area. Throwing your things and screaming as they did the other morning is wrong and I think you need to be clear about that.

Hope you get to see the accountant and get the curtains done. Not so bad when it's just lining.

If the help is maintained with dgd she'll hopefully be able to keep on top of her room. Of course there'll be times she doesn't I know that well from when my three daughters were her age but every little helps and being accountable to school will probably make a difference..

When ds doesn't wash up or do what he supposed to he's sending out the wrong message. Although he's an adult it's possible the three children only see you as the adult as you're the one actually adulting.

Did you manage to rescue the pan following the pasta debacle? If he does something like that again he needs to be the one scrubbing it not you.
pollyx

fozziebeartoo · 23 January 2020 at 2:32PM

Savvy_sewing wrote: »

Another 5.15am wake up and unfortunately both were awake within minutes. So an hour of trying to distract them and keep them from waking up the rest of the household.
I have a single duvet cover full of dirty clothes that Dgd dug out of the abyss of her room as she started to clear her room last night. Guess what I will be doing between sewing jobs today and tomorrow then.
I asked DS to wash up as said it wasn't fair to except Dgd to do it when we were not here to eat it, and she was attacking her own room.
Unless he miraculously wakes up and does it in the next few minutes all he has done is stack them on top of the cooker so the sink is clear!
I dreamt last night that I had an argument with him and gave him 24 hours to get out. So it shows how my subconscious is going.
My patience is running out.

SS I have the utmost admiration for you, I really do.

But why are YOU trying to keep the little boys quiet???

You said DS didn't work so HE needs to keeping his children quiet so you and DGD can sleep/have peace.

pollyanna_26 · 23 January 2020 at 6:14PM

fozziebeartoo wrote: »

SS I have the utmost admiration for you, I really do.

But why are YOU trying to keep the little boys quiet???

You said DS didn't work so HE needs to keeping his children quiet so you and DGD can sleep/have peace.

I agree with this. When he hasn't worked taking the children downstairs to him means more chance dgd wont be woken and if you're lucky you can catch a bit more sleep.

Those dreams are your frustrations coming to the fore when you should be getting undisturbed sleep to help you through the day ahead. I'm a great believer in listening to your body and mind.
pollyx

Savvy_sewing · 23 January 2020 at 10:21PM

I am off to bed.
Managed a bit of sewing, finally got to the accountant , and managed to take Mum out as I needed lining for some curtains so she came with me and then we had lunch in Dunelm.
Also went to the pub for a bite to eat with my friend for a couple of hours.
Now I am definitely going to sleep.

Savvy_sewing · 24 January 2020 at 7:42AM

A mini lay in! Dgs2 woke at 5.45 and unfortunately so did dgs1, they crept into my room and straight to Google! Mind you they are so occupied there hasn't been a word out of either of them, and it's keeping them occupied.
I will have to wake Dad as he has a course to go on and I am sure he needs to leave soon.
( and if not he can help me).
Only dgs1 and Dgd need school today, but both in opposite directions so I really need Dgd to be ready for dropping off first as she can be early but Dgd can't.

I actually enjoyed lining the curtains yesterday and think I would have stayed in the cabin sewing longer if I hadn't arranged to meet my friend for a meal and a drink in the pub. I hope that means I am getting my mojo back. Perhaps going around the fabric shop with my Mum helped. It got us talking about sewing and Mum even said she must do more embroidery. Brilliant as she hasn't sewn since she was ill in October. (Or was it September, cannot remember now!), oh well never mind.
No sewing today though as just dgs2 and myself between 9-3.
Bit of playing , reading and maybe a shop for nappies.
At least after the school run it should be relatively calm.

Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

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