Barking mad relatives!

Carrot007 · 21 May 2019 at 6:24PM

Elinore wrote: »

My Leader was alarmed as her letter was very carefully worded to be factual, vague but emotive and hinted at repercussions

She is obviously insane and want her own way at any cost.

I recomend you just give your leader this thread to read and they will easily see you are the reasonable person. It will say much more than saying anything yourself after the fact.

Nicki · 21 May 2019 at 7:20PM

I’d be inclined to file a report with police for harassment because at least then you can tell anyone else who receives a similar letter that this is part of a campaign against you by someone bearing a grudge “and the police are involved”. Don’t go down the libel route - that’s a way to burn your own money. The police may also consider this an attempt to blackmail you - depending on what the letter says. Don’t worry about asking the charity for it because the police will be able to get it from them more easily

jeanericblass · 22 May 2019 at 11:13AM

really disappointing

Out,_Vile_Jelly · 22 May 2019 at 11:20AM

What a sly and mean-spirited approach, to sully your character and try and nullify the hours of your time you've spent volunteering.

I would ask the charity Leader to see the letter, explaining that you have a difficult family situation that has escalated without your realising. In my experience of volunteering, you get "all sorts", so they will be used to dealing with difficult characters. If your volunteering role involves a DBS check or safeguarding issues, reassure them that this is a family argument about free lodging in your house, and nothing to do with any kind of crime.

It might be worth having a quiet word with your boss/HR in case she targets your workplace next.

Imagine having the time and energy to behave so badly!

klew356 · 22 May 2019 at 11:45AM

Wow, I really don’t know how she can be bothered but id just send her an email saying I cant believe you would do something like that to a member of your own family but yet still expect to take your daughter on? this is the final no you are getting and let that be the end of it. try and cut contact after that and if she tries anything else get the police involved. Just dont rise to her antics

ska_lover · 22 May 2019 at 7:01PM

OH MY GOODNESS Elinore, I know you were expecting it to not go down well...

But I would never have expected this level of crazy

I can see why you were so very furiously angry!

In all honesty love, I can see that you MAY need to be a bit guarded with your Mother from now on. I am not saying cut Mum off, but....

If your Mother (as you say) is revelling in the drama - just be careful, is all I am saying. You do not know who is saying what to who / passing info on.

Oh I am so sorry Elinore. Sometimes we can be so very badly let down by our families it seems hard to find a way back. I am sorry love and I would give you a hug if it were possible.

Your aunt sounds like a vindictive B of the highest order, I have never heard of such vindictiveness, she is a woman who is very clearly used to getting her own way and thinks the whole world revolves around her.
What a nasty piece of work!!!

Honestly I am gobsmacked - Deffo cut the Aunt out of your life Poste Haste

elsien · 22 May 2019 at 7:15PM

Carrot007 wrote: »

She is obviously insane and want her own way at any cost.

I recomend you just give your leader this thread to read and they will easily see you are the reasonable person. It will say much more than saying anything yourself after the fact.

I disagree.
However you handle situations with employers, paid or voluntary, it's not via forums or social media.
OP can easily bullet point the relevant issues/timelines if needed, and it's far more professional looking than waving a thread at them and saying "look at this."

Carrot007 · 22 May 2019 at 7:26PM

elsien wrote: »

I disagree.
However you handle situations with employers, paid or voluntary, it's not via forums or social media.
OP can easily bullet point the relevant issues/timelines if needed, and it's far more professional looking than waving a thread at them and saying "look at this."

I guess it depends on your employer really.

A good employer would take the thread as proof indisputable. Where as a newly created list could just be made up.

But of course it depends on the employer. And only the employee is is a place to determine what would be best.

In fact a great emplyer would probably ignore random nonsence sent by trouble causers in the first place!

As for "professional". Just an unimportant buzzword. I have had managers in the past that cared more about how I looked than if I was doing work (not looked as in apperance, as in how I was working), not a good way to run a company. Which is again why the emplyee has to gauge the relation ship and what would be best.

But now we are wibbling slightly off topic.

Out,_Vile_Jelly · 23 May 2019 at 10:35AM

OP, you've got a lot to take in at the moment so good luck in dealing with that.

I'm slightly concerned by this paragraph:

My Leader was alarmed as her letter was very carefully worded to be factual, vague but emotive and hinted at repercussions - along the lines of ‘I had just accepted a prestigious award and how would it look to the wider public…….’. He had to take advice from HO on if he needed to take some form of action on it. They decided no, but I can tell you now it’s made them nervous. Very nervous.

I appreciate you may not want to rock the boat, but I would personally pursue this. Unless the charity bosses received a clear allegation of misconduct, with facts and details that are directly related to the charity work (ie safeguarding, financial irregularity) then they should have dismissed your aunt's letter as old school fishwife malicious gossip and ignored it. People shouldn't be judged on "green biro" missives sent in spite; I don't think the charity has handled this well at all.

pollypenny · 23 May 2019 at 1:45PM

Elsinore, I've read the thread in amazement at your aunt's cheek in the first place. I'm astounded st developments and second the advice about a solicitor's letter.

The response of your leader is also surprising and unsettling. As HO were contacted you need to ensure that they know, and record, whole story in case of further attempts to malign you.

Barking mad relatives!

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