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Barking mad relatives!

242 replies 51.8K views
ElinoreElinore Forumite
259 posts
I have a family of two sides. My fathers are small loose knit, withdrawn, bookish gentle and reserved. My mothers family is huge, bright, loud, heavily, interconnected and dotty.

Just a bit of background, just to give an idea of how this all came about - I moved away quite some time ago and live just outside London. I was honoured in my field recently at an awards ceremony and my mother and one of her sisters came down for the event. It never occurred to me that it was the first time any of the family outside of my mother have seen, or known where I live for nigh on 20 years.

Saturday just gone i am puttering ready for bed and the doorbell goes. open the door to a very young lass, wheelie case with a toddler on her hip.

Apparently my Aunt, in her infinite wisdom has decided that my 'huge'* house has room for her daughter! didn't ask, didn't check just put the girl on a National Express and let her travel all day to my door. (it's not huge! we just have a spare space which with large families or several generations all living together never happens) which I also happen to have our lovely mon/fri lodger living in!

The young mum has aspirations for modelling and being close to London is key - Family do these things for the family I was told.

Following day first thing I drove the wee lass to the train station, paid for a ticket (after buying her lunch and some bits for the babby) and sent her straight back, poor kid.

Who does that! who?

I've not heard a peep since! (apart from a message from the poor lass to confirm she was home safe)



  • DoodlesDoodles Forumite
    386 posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Photogenic
    I would have got onto the Aunt after you had dropped the girl back and given her a piece of my mind! Did you?
  • NickiNicki Forumite
    8.2K posts
    Let me hazard a guess that you are successful in your career and more affluent than auntie’s family. And that she is likely now to be dissing you to all and sundry as snooty and too big for your boots.

    I feel your pain....
  • cheskychesky Forumite
    1.3K posts
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    I guess you'll have to survive the next 20 years as best you can without hearing from them again.
  • ElinoreElinore Forumite
    259 posts
    I wish, Nikki. :D

    Me and the OH have a very simple low key life. We are not high flyers, so wouldn't be considered successful or affluent by normal standards - but we do work hard and have a very modest income - but we maximise it by coming here to MSE and saving hard.

    The ceremony was bit posh, yes. However, it did relate to voluntary work rather than my career.

    Doodles, she didn't answer the phone and sent her a message which has remained unread.

    I bet there are fireworks going off, I FEEL a seismic event coming.....
  • edited 26 March 2019 at 7:13AM
    ElinoreElinore Forumite
    259 posts
    edited 26 March 2019 at 7:13AM
    Chesky, that would be nice - but large 'all up in everyones business' families don't work that way.

    I stay as far out of their shenanigans as possible and walk the tight rope really well to keep all their drama at arms distance - but when my Mum suddenly announced my Aunt was coming to the event as her plus one I should have realised it was opening a door.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
  • ScarletRibbonsScarletRibbons Forumite
    1.1K posts
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    Who was going to look after the baby while the young girl was starting her "career", and who's told her she can be a model? What a strange thing to do, just turn up like that.
  • edited 26 March 2019 at 7:53AM
    AnotherJoeAnotherJoe Forumite
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    edited 26 March 2019 at 7:53AM
    Why only blame the aunt unless she flat out lied to her daughter and said you'd agreed?
    The "wee young lass" is an adult, a mother, and perfectly capable of making her own decisions to sponge off relatives and rely on them being too polite or timid to say no.
    Anyway, good on you for not being a doormat.
    P.s as pointed out by SR, mums also expecting you to look after toddler, that surely is something she would have established before coming down and make it likely she was equally culpable in this cunning plan.
  • warby68warby68 Forumite
    2.2K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I agree with 'barking mad' but I also remember your thread from last year about the caravan windfall and you being held responsible and some wedding 'disinvitations'.

    I think 20 years and 200 miles is not quite far enough lol :)
  • onomatopoeia99onomatopoeia99 Forumite
    6.4K posts
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Elinore wrote: »
    Saturday just gone i am puttering ready for bed and the doorbell goes. open the door to a very young lass, wheelie case with a toddler on her hip.
    My niece is a very young lass. She's seven. Sounds like you had an adult woman turn up on your doorstep.
    INTP, nerd, social liberal and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.
    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
  • NBLondonNBLondon Forumite
    3.9K posts
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    It's all relative (pun not intended) - a 19 year old could be "a very young lass" compared to the OP.

    I'm in a milder form of it in that my family is distant but m'wife's mob are more rumbunctuous - however it's the other way around - more likely to offer/arrange excessive help than to just turn up and demand it. So I agree that the OP might be better off at a distance - even though it may mean friction with Mum.
    Wash your Knobs and Knockers... Keep the Postie safe!
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