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Barking mad relatives!
242 replies
51.8K views
Elinore
Forumite 259 posts
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I have a family of two sides. My fathers are small loose knit, withdrawn, bookish gentle and reserved. My mothers family is huge, bright, loud, heavily, interconnected and dotty.
Just a bit of background, just to give an idea of how this all came about - I moved away quite some time ago and live just outside London. I was honoured in my field recently at an awards ceremony and my mother and one of her sisters came down for the event. It never occurred to me that it was the first time any of the family outside of my mother have seen, or known where I live for nigh on 20 years.
Saturday just gone i am puttering ready for bed and the doorbell goes. open the door to a very young lass, wheelie case with a toddler on her hip.
Apparently my Aunt, in her infinite wisdom has decided that my 'huge'* house has room for her daughter! didn't ask, didn't check just put the girl on a National Express and let her travel all day to my door. (it's not huge! we just have a spare space which with large families or several generations all living together never happens) which I also happen to have our lovely mon/fri lodger living in!
The young mum has aspirations for modelling and being close to London is key - Family do these things for the family I was told.
Following day first thing I drove the wee lass to the train station, paid for a ticket (after buying her lunch and some bits for the babby) and sent her straight back, poor kid.
Who does that! who?
I've not heard a peep since! (apart from a message from the poor lass to confirm she was home safe)
Families!
Just a bit of background, just to give an idea of how this all came about - I moved away quite some time ago and live just outside London. I was honoured in my field recently at an awards ceremony and my mother and one of her sisters came down for the event. It never occurred to me that it was the first time any of the family outside of my mother have seen, or known where I live for nigh on 20 years.
Saturday just gone i am puttering ready for bed and the doorbell goes. open the door to a very young lass, wheelie case with a toddler on her hip.
Apparently my Aunt, in her infinite wisdom has decided that my 'huge'* house has room for her daughter! didn't ask, didn't check just put the girl on a National Express and let her travel all day to my door. (it's not huge! we just have a spare space which with large families or several generations all living together never happens) which I also happen to have our lovely mon/fri lodger living in!
The young mum has aspirations for modelling and being close to London is key - Family do these things for the family I was told.
Following day first thing I drove the wee lass to the train station, paid for a ticket (after buying her lunch and some bits for the babby) and sent her straight back, poor kid.
Who does that! who?
I've not heard a peep since! (apart from a message from the poor lass to confirm she was home safe)
Families!
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Replies
Dracula, Bram Stoker
I feel your pain....
Me and the OH have a very simple low key life. We are not high flyers, so wouldn't be considered successful or affluent by normal standards - but we do work hard and have a very modest income - but we maximise it by coming here to MSE and saving hard.
The ceremony was bit posh, yes. However, it did relate to voluntary work rather than my career.
Doodles, she didn't answer the phone and sent her a message which has remained unread.
I bet there are fireworks going off, I FEEL a seismic event coming.....
I stay as far out of their shenanigans as possible and walk the tight rope really well to keep all their drama at arms distance - but when my Mum suddenly announced my Aunt was coming to the event as her plus one I should have realised it was opening a door.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
The "wee young lass" is an adult, a mother, and perfectly capable of making her own decisions to sponge off relatives and rely on them being too polite or timid to say no.
Anyway, good on you for not being a doormat.
P.s as pointed out by SR, mums also expecting you to look after toddler, that surely is something she would have established before coming down and make it likely she was equally culpable in this cunning plan.
I think 20 years and 200 miles is not quite far enough lol
5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
I'm in a milder form of it in that my family is distant but m'wife's mob are more rumbunctuous - however it's the other way around - more likely to offer/arrange excessive help than to just turn up and demand it. So I agree that the OP might be better off at a distance - even though it may mean friction with Mum.