Barking mad relatives! 26 March 2019 at 7:20AM edited 26 March 2019 at 7:23AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 242 replies 51.8K views

Litha

Dear Elinore,
I have been reading along, but have not posted as I hadn't any fresh advice to give.
My jaw has dropped at what a nasty and vindictive person your aunt is!
What a rotten, horrible thing to do!
Please know I am thinking of you and wishing you well. I also hope your auntie gets her ariss booted very hard by Karma.
Linda x

Mojisola

Elinore wrote: »

As expected my Aunt did not take the email well. I weathered the storm of nastiness for a little while, rebuffed an attempt to get my dad’s side of the family involved – she was given a short shrift when she called my OH to lament at how rude and short sighted I was being. Met with a resolute no from me in all the forms she contacted me, via my mother, other aunts, chat or FB. I was polite, but firm.

I was informed by my Area Leader that she had written to the charity I volunteer for. Basically she felt it was her civic duty to call me out with the charity as I was a hypocrite and they had a right to know. ‘Charity begins at home’ and were they aware of the cold hearted dream stealer they had working for them.

This is getting beyond 'normal' thoughtless relative - I would be thinking about an injunction to prevent any more harassment.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

GlasweJen

Wow, just wow!

I would be seriously warning your employer about what's happened in cause she does a bit of digging and then goes in for another blow.

-taff

I'd be getting a solicitor to write a letter telling her you're going to sue for libel and defamation of character


You've got to wonder, what the hell is she thinking? Does she think this will make you change your mind? Does she realise this is the rift of all rifts? What a poisonous bittch

Gavin83

Mojisola wrote: »

This is getting beyond 'normal' thoughtless relative - I would be thinking about an injunction to prevent any more harassment.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

I agree with this. I'd write to your aunt, tell her if she continues to contact you (or anyone regarding you) you'll consider it as harassment and look into taking out an injunction. I'd also inform her she should expect to hear from your solicitor shortly in regards to a defamation of character case and any further correspondence should go via your solicitor. You will drop the case in return for a written apology to both yourself and the charity you volunteer for. It's up to you if you continue with this threat.

You need to play hard ball. Only way she'll listen is if she feels she'll lose out by continuing. The fall out is already there, I wouldn't worry about that any longer.

Pollycat

-taff wrote: »

I'd be getting a solicitor to write a letter telling her you're going to sue for libel and defamation of character


You've got to wonder, what the hell is she thinking? Does she think this will make you change your mind? Does she realise this is the rift of all rifts? What a poisonous bittch

It sounds like she's covered her vindictive a$$ with her letter.

Elinore wrote: »

My Leader was alarmed as her letter was very carefully worded to be factual, vague but emotive and hinted at repercussions - along the lines of ‘I had just accepted a prestigious award and how would it look to the wider public…….’. He had to take advice from HO on if he needed to take some form of action on it. They decided no, but I can tell you now it’s made them nervous. Very nervous.

Of course I don't know the nature of the charity that the OP volunteers for but it would make me think twice about continuing if they felt they had the right to interfere in my personal life and judge me based on a letter from someone with a clear axe to grind.

happyandcontented

I would want to know exactly what was in the letter. Most charities are not bound by FOI requests, but, as it is your information they may agree to a subject access request that is if they will not just allow you to see the letter.

I agree with Pollycat that if they were seriously considering some kind of action against you based on the ( clearly vindictive) letter then I would be considering if I wanted to continue with them.

It is really awful that your Aunt has done this and I too would be tempted to get a solicitor to contact her and say you will take legal action if the harassment continues.

heartbreak_star

I...I can't even...how very dare she!!

HBS x

Pollycat

Gavin83 wrote: »

You need to play hard ball. Only way she'll listen is if she feels she'll lose out by continuing. The fall out is already there, I wouldn't worry about that any longer.

Whatever action you take I'd do this ^^^^.


I'd hit as hard as I could with whatever I could (not in a literal way, of course).
In as public a way as possible.

JCS1

I'd be tempted to get hold of the letter and see what is actually in it. Then wait a week (to give time to calm down!) and then seriously think about seeing a solicitor.


Other option you have of course, is to publish the letter on social media.......