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Barking mad relatives!

242 replies 51.8K views
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  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    Elinore wrote: »
    My Leader was alarmed as her letter was very carefully worded to be factual, vague but emotive and hinted at repercussions - along the lines of ‘I had just accepted a prestigious award and how would it look to the wider public…….’. He had to take advice from HO on if he needed to take some form of action on it. They decided no, but I can tell you now it’s made them nervous. Very nervous.
    Carrot007 wrote: »
    I recomend you just give your leader this thread to read and they will easily see you are the reasonable person. It will say much more than saying anything yourself after the fact.
    Carrot007 wrote: »
    I guess it depends on your employer really.

    A good employer would take the thread as proof indisputable. Where as a newly created list could just be made up.


    But of course it depends on the employer. And only the employee is is a place to determine what would be best.


    In fact a great emplyer would probably ignore random nonsence sent by trouble causers in the first place!


    As for "professional". Just an unimportant buzzword. I have had managers in the past that cared more about how I looked than if I was doing work (not looked as in apperance, as in how I was working), not a good way to run a company. Which is again why the emplyee has to gauge the relation ship and what would be best.


    But now we are wibbling slightly off topic.
    Very much off topic, I think.

    As I understand it, the 'leader' represents the charity that the OP volunteers for.
    Not her full-time employment.

    I've posted earlier with my opinions of how this charity has dealt with the letter.
    I really don't think giving the 'leader' access to this thread would do any good.
    They're already 'very nervous' about the content of the letter.

    As for showing an employer a thread on a public forum, that would be a definite 'no' from me.
    Regardless of whether it was a good employer or not.
  • edited 23 May 2019 at 5:45PM
    DigForVictoryDigForVictory Forumite
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    edited 23 May 2019 at 5:45PM
    There are words for people like your aunt.
    None of which I will use in a family environment.

    The time for making nice is over. Get a free half hour with a solicitor with a view to preventing the female expressing herself in any credible way on any platform.

    You can take legal steps & I urge you to do so before she turns your good name from good to smeared beyond recognition.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    Pollycat wrote: »
    As for showing an employer a thread on a public forum, that would be a definite 'no' from me.

    I wouldn't show an employer this thread but I would put together a factual sequence of events to show how the problem started and how it escalated - much easier to show someone a straightforward list rather than try to explain while feeling stressed or upset because auntie sent a letter to your workplace.
  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    I wouldn't show an employer this thread but I would put together a factual sequence of events to show how the problem started and how it escalated - much easier to show someone a straightforward list rather than try to explain while feeling stressed or upset because auntie sent a letter to your workplace.
    And that's dealing with the situation in a very different way to giving an employer 11 pages of random strangers' opinions and advice.
  • theoreticatheoretica Forumite
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    Elinore wrote: »
    My Leader was alarmed as her letter was very carefully worded to be factual, vague but emotive and hinted at repercussions - along the lines of ‘I had just accepted a prestigious award and how would it look to the wider public…….’. He had to take advice from HO on if he needed to take some form of action on it. They decided no, but I can tell you now it’s made them nervous. Very nervous.


    If the leader felt out of their depth and consulted the head office in a 'help me, what's the right response to this, nothing like this has happened before' way that doesn't seem a problem to me. If on the other hand head office were genuinely considering action I am concerned.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • Sea_ShellSea_Shell Forumite
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    theoretica wrote: »
    If the leader felt out of their depth and consulted the head office in a 'help me, what's the right response to this, nothing like this has happened before' way that doesn't seem a problem to me. If on the other hand head office were genuinely considering action I am concerned.

    I agree. I bet that was their first thought...."OMG how should I deal with this??? Refer it upwards, it's above my paygrade!!!" (or should that be volunteer grade)

    Hopefully, they will see it for what it is, the ramblings of a disturbed mind, and dismiss it out of hand.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow ":beer: JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!! :j:j:j
  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    I agree. I bet that was their first thought...."OMG how should I deal with this??? Refer it upwards, it's above my paygrade!!!" (or should that be volunteer grade)

    Hopefully, they will see it for what it is, the ramblings of a disturbed mind, and dismiss it out of hand.
    Elinore wrote: »

    My Leader was alarmed as her letter was very carefully worded to be factual, vague but emotive and hinted at repercussions - along the lines of ‘I had just accepted a prestigious award and how would it look to the wider public…….’. He had to take advice from HO on if he needed to take some form of action on it. They decided no, but I can tell you now it’s made them nervous. Very nervous.
    I guess only the OP can say what 'very nervous' means in context of the letter and the charity's opinion of the work that she has done for them versus the 'factual, vague but emotive' letter and 'possible repercussions'.

    I certainly didn't get from the OP's post that the charity had 'dismissed it out of hand'.
  • Sea_ShellSea_Shell Forumite
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    Pollycat wrote: »
    I guess only the OP can say what 'very nervous' means in context of the letter and the charity's opinion of the work that she has done for them versus the 'factual, vague but emotive' letter and 'possible repercussions'.

    I certainly didn't get from the OP's post that the charity had 'dismissed it out of hand'.

    Yes, sorry, i'd missed that point. Does seem a bit odd that they'd take it that seriously, unless the wording of the letter was VERY damning!!! (Not true, when you know the other side of the story, obviously)

    Without knowing the type of charity, and the exact wording of the letter, we're only guessing as to what impact it MIGHT have on their organisation.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow ":beer: JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!! :j:j:j
  • DigForVictoryDigForVictory Forumite
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    People shouldn't be judged on "green biro" missives sent in spite; I don't think the charity has handled this well at all.
    Hear, hear! Einore should not be left feeling nervous but supported - which of us has not go at least one relative who can be 'contentious'?

    That said, it appears far to much of her family regard her as a soft touch & I repeat my view that it is time to get legal advice before family give any more trouble in any other fora.
  • sleepymanssleepymans Forumite
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    This thread Definitely didn’t suspend my disbelief for as long as the “Bag for Life”
    :rotfl:
    :A Goddess :A
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