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Barking mad relatives!

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  • warby68warby68 Forumite
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    Breathtaking

    And serious

    So sorry your mother doesn't even have your back.
  • MoneySeeker1MoneySeeker1 Forumite
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    This might be useful:

    https://www.lawdepot.co.uk/contracts/cease-and-desist-letter/

    Looks like it would provide you with a suitable "cease and desist" letter to send her.

    Which just leaves the question as to whether your (voluntary) employer has to provide you with a copy of the letter. It is, after all, about you and only about you and so you certainly "should" be given a copy of it and so the question is as to whether you have the legal right to make them give it to you.
    I'd already taken the Red Pill (shades of The Matrix).

    I'm awake - darn it - often wishes I was still asleep...




  • JWMJWM Forumite
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    This is just appalling, I am furious on your behalf OP, even though we have never meet!

    Two options I think:
    Cut all of them from your life (a tough thing to do of course)
    or
    Take the Legal route. Although tempting, it would seen that these people love drama and don't care how they get it, so would you just be feeding their needs?

    Personally I would go for the first option, whilst warning your Mum that if you doesn't pull her finger out and start supporting you big time, the same thing will happen to her.

    Life is too short for these nutters - and I really hope your employer is treating the letter with the contempt it truly deserves.

    Chin up - you are the victim in this nasty little affair.
  • hb2hb2 Forumite
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    I don't think any rational person could have expected the aunt to act like this. What a nasty piece of work she is! OP, I really hope that this is her parting shot and you will never hear from her again . . .
    It's not difficult!
    'Wander' - to walk or move in a leisurely manner.
    'Wonder' - to feel curious.
  • silverwhistlesilverwhistle Forumite
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    Good grief!


    Would it be possible to point your employers in the direction of this thread?
  • supermezzosupermezzo Forumite
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    I can only agree with the legal route - You MUST protect yourself from this libel and slander as quickly and efficiently as possible.

    Yes, it will initially feed her drama needs BUT it will demonstrate to everyone else that you are rebutting her behaviour. Your silence will only be seen as an admission of guilt of whatever nonsense she comes up with next, if you don't.

    Take legal advice, make sure all your relatives know that she is looking at legal action if she doesn't stop it and also get an injunction/restraining order.

    As blo*dy awful as it may seem, you need to nail this quickly and completely before she does some serious damage. God forbid, but if she does find out where you work and start sh*t there too, you can go to HR and prove that you have done something concrete about this.


    Document everything and stop her, and do it before it gets totally out of hand. And if you won't do it for yourself, do it for the charity you volunteer for because I'll wager that she's slagging them off too, for not instantly sacking you. And in the wrong hands of an unscrupulous journalist.....
    It aint over til I've done singing....
  • JWMJWM Forumite
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    supermezzo wrote: »
    I can only agree with the legal route - You MUST protect yourself from this libel and slander as quickly and efficiently as possible.

    Yes, it will initially feed her drama needs BUT it will demonstrate to everyone else that you are rebutting her behaviour. Your silence will only be seen as an admission of guilt of whatever nonsense she comes up with next, if you don't.

    Take legal advice, make sure all your relatives know that she is looking at legal action if she doesn't stop it and also get an injunction/restraining order.

    As blo*dy awful as it may seem, you need to nail this quickly and completely before she does some serious damage. God forbid, but if she does find out where you work and start sh*t there too, you can go to HR and prove that you have done something concrete about this.


    Document everything and stop her, and do it before it gets totally out of hand. And if you won't do it for yourself, do it for the charity you volunteer for because I'll wager that she's slagging them off too, for not instantly sacking you. And in the wrong hands of an unscrupulous journalist.....


    You are right of course, and the women seems unhinged enough to take it further.
  • Sea_ShellSea_Shell Forumite
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    Wow, they really aren't from this planet are they??

    You don't need to be specific, but out of interest what sector of charity do you volunteer for? Is it something around Homelessness, or Young Persons? I can (just) see how in your Aunt's warped mind, she thinks that you should take in waifs and strays, if this IS the type of charity work you do. (I seriously don't agree with this, but just trying to think how she might think.)

    Obviously if it is for an Animal Charity, or Health, or Foreign Aid, there is a lot less scope for her to make you out to be the bad guy, with her threats of taking it further.

    Anyway, regardless of that, i'd make sure I get a chance to put my side of the story to my charity handler, and also I would mention it to your works boss, just in case. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

    But as others have said, it might need to go "legal" now that it's gone this far. Maybe a one-off letter from a solicitor will have the desired effect, or it may just escalate things. Who knows...all bets are off where your family are concerned it would seem!!!

    As someone else mentioned, why not just call her bluff, and make a statement on social media yourself, if you've already got your bosses on side (both charity and work).

    I don't envy your situation, but rest assured, we're on your side and will always be here for you to have a vent to. Good Luck!!
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow ":beer: JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!! :j:j:j
  • edited 21 May 2019 at 5:00PM
    SilvertabbySilvertabby Forumite
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    edited 21 May 2019 at 5:00PM
    Ye gods, of all the possible results I didn't expect this ! Even if you do volunteer for a young persons/homeless charity, wee lass already has a home with auntie - it's just that auntie doesn't live where all the excitement is !

    I agree with Gavin83 (post 186) - and, if your employer has placed auntie's letter on your HR file, insist that a copy of your solicitor's letter is placed with it.

    Chin up and good luck.
  • edited 22 May 2019 at 11:16AM
    calleywcalleyw Forumite
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    edited 22 May 2019 at 11:16AM
    Wow just wow.

    I would go and get legal advice. As sending letters to your work be it paid or your volunteer position is bang out of order. And if you have told your Aunt to stop contacting you its harassment.

    Get a copy of the letter and go to see a solicitor asap.

    I am so sorry you have to deal with this. But some people just don't know when to quit.

    Wishing you all the best.

    Yours

    Calley x












    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
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