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Barking mad relatives!

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  • Sea_ShellSea_Shell Forumite
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    Pity they're stooping to drag your Nan into this...

    Is your Nan someone who can be easily swayed as to her opinion of you, or does she know her own mind?

    If the latter, your Aunt could have a fit of the screaming ab-dabs, and it wouldn't make a jots difference.

    If the former, well then they're all as bad as each other and you're best rid of the lot of them.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow ":beer: JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!! :j:j:j
  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    Pity they're stooping to drag your Nan into this...

    Is your Nan someone who can be easily swayed as to her opinion of you, or does she know her own mind?

    If the latter, your Aunt could have a fit of the screaming ab-dabs, and it wouldn't make a jots difference.

    If the former, well then they're all as bad as each other and you're best rid of the lot of them.

    I think your last sentence accurately describes the OPs relatives.:cool:
  • SmodletSmodlet Forumite
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    Drama does seem to follow you around, Elinore or, perhaps, you invite it purely through your inaction. I would have nothing whatsoever to do with anyone who behaved one tenth as badly as your relatives apparently do unless I were being paid to.

    Why do you even care what they think if they are so vile? If you would not tolerate such behaviour in a friend or a colleague, why tolerate it in anyone else?
  • NickiNicki Forumite
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    Smodlet wrote: »
    Drama does seem to follow you around, Elinore or, perhaps, you invite it purely through your inaction. I would have nothing whatsoever to do with anyone who behaved one tenth as badly as your relatives apparently do unless I were being paid to.

    Why do you even care what they think if they are so vile? If you would not tolerate such behaviour in a friend or a colleague, why tolerate it in anyone else?

    That feels unfair to me. I, like OP, have vile toxic relatives who behave as hers do and from whom I have now cut all contact. Those who know me are split 50/50 between those who think it was about time too and I’ve done the right thing and those who think family trumps all and anything can be forgiven.

    Unless you’ve walked the walk, you can’t really judge. But from experience as the victim of this kind of behaviour there will always be someone out there who thinks you must have brought it on yourself or can’t believe that it’s quite as bad as you are reporting.

    I can completely 100% believe that this has happened to Elinore and that no blame at all attaches to her for it. People can be vile.
  • ska_loverska_lover Forumite
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    Nicki wrote: »
    Unless you’ve walked the walk, you can’t really judge. But from experience as the victim of this kind of behaviour there will always be someone out there who thinks you must have brought it on yourself or can’t believe that it’s quite as bad as you are reporting.

    I can completely 100% believe that this has happened to Elinore and that no blame at all attaches to her for it. People can be vile.

    I couldn't agree more. Very well said
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • I just hope the grandma does what the aunt wants and then everyone can be happy and done with this storyline.
  • SmodletSmodlet Forumite
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    Nicki wrote: »
    That feels unfair to me. I, like OP, have vile toxic relatives who behave as hers do and from whom I have now cut all contact. Those who know me are split 50/50 between those who think it was about time too and I’ve done the right thing and those who think family trumps all and anything can be forgiven.

    Unless you’ve walked the walk, you can’t really judge. But from experience as the victim of this kind of behaviour there will always be someone out there who thinks you must have brought it on yourself or can’t believe that it’s quite as bad as you are reporting.

    I can completely 100% believe that this has happened to Elinore and that no blame at all attaches to her for it. People can be vile.


    I have "walked the walk". My parents were both beyond toxic. As a child I had no choice but to put up with them (there was no Childline back then) The day I realised I no longer had to put up with them was the day things began to improve.

    No-one brings toxic relatives upon themselves and no adult has to put up with them unless they so choose.
  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    Smodlet wrote: »
    I have "walked the walk". My parents were both beyond toxic. As a child I had no choice but to put up with them (there was no Childline back then) The day I realised I no longer had to put up with them was the day things began to improve.

    No-one brings toxic relatives upon themselves and no adult has to put up with them unless they so choose.
    Me too, although in my case if was a sibling.
    I certainly don't believe that 'family trumps all'.
    Some things cannot be forgiven.
  • -taff-taff Forumite
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    Nicki wrote: »
    But from experience as the victim of this kind of behaviour there will always be someone out there who thinks you must have brought it on yourself or can’t believe that it’s quite as bad as you are reporting.


    I'm with you on that one...


    The trouble with forums is it's easy to give advice, and then get annoyed that the recipient is not following it and to be fair, someone asked what was happening, now, she didn't volunteer the info willy nilly, and people are free to believe or disbelieve.
    It seems that staying away from the drama is working OK, and she's just reporting what the relatives are up to. And I'd imagine, the lack of reaction to something that's so important to her aunty is probably really infuriating the aunty.
  • username901username901 Forumite
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    This would make a good black mirror episode.
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