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Not told of Son's wedding
Comments
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It is cowardly for the Mum to be snooping at his facebook to find out, it is not all about the son to blame, the Mum could simply phone him and ask him why, in all honesty I think she already knows why and perhaps the disclusion was intentional.
I have not noticed a single post yet as to why the couple cannot have their own day and invite or not invite whom they choose.
She is a friend on fb as I understand it, not snooping.I agree to a point, but the fact that some are ranting about the disclusion, gives me good cause to not have wanted such characters available on a special day, with their strong one sided view, there is a good chance they may spoil the one time occasion.
Less of a rant from most mothers/parents on here, including or perhaps especially, the OP, more of an expression of hurt I suspect. I would be deeply upset.0 -
We got married on holiday 7 years into our relationship with just my two children and two adult witnesses, we didn't tell anyone until we got back. We had both had previous marriages and I knew whichever way we married my Mum wouldn't come because of her religious views. Both my Mum and his parents were delighted that we had done the deed and I would say I was as close to my mum as anyone and she loved my DH it just conflicted with her deeply held convictions.
It's not always straightforward and I feel for the OP as she is hurt and confused but for everyone who has an opinion no-one except those involved knows the full story.0 -
I have not noticed a single post yet as to why the couple cannot have their own day and invite or not invite whom they choose.
My previous post DOES indicate that they are free to do what they like and invite who they like.
In fact I personally hate the whole fuss and stress generated by a big white wedding. I got married in Japan - NO ONE was invited. Neither set of parents were there.
HOWEVER I had the decency to inform interested parties of the event."Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" (Douglas Adams)0 -
HeatherintheHills wrote: »So it is snooping to read the status changes of a facebook friend is it? Are you for real? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
This isn't about how the couple chose to organise their wedding, it is about the way her son chose to let the OP find out about it. Can't you see the difference?
Yes I am for real, I remember a colleague asking me if I could drop him at the jewellry quarter one lunchtime, later on he got married, looking at the pics, none of either family were present and only a colleague was there (as he was the photographer) , perhaps it 'slipped' his mind you know what boys are like.She is a friend on fb as I understand it, not snooping.
Less of a rant from most mothers/parents on here, including or perhaps especially, the OP, more of an expression of hurt I suspect. I would be deeply upset.
Perhaps he may have felt it was the lesser of two evils to let her find out rather than say " I'm getting married and I don't want you at the ceremony" both would hurt and upset I'm sure, I have to visit my Mum today, usually I have dinner on a Sunday, but today I will tell her not to dish me any out, TBH I'm sick of the large portions and I'm tired of telling her, it was she and my Dad that raised us not to waste food, so we eat what is on the plate, also on my day off she wishes to visit which is fine, but now my brother (he is a JW) offers to bring her over, however I will also have to tell her that she is welcome, but I don't want the preaching so it would be nicer if she came along on the bus, so I may tell her my day off is not to be.
Don't get me wrong I understand the OP maybe hurt and offended, but I'm sure there is a valid reason which none of us know or some will be in denial about.
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PinkLipgloss wrote: »My previous post DOES indicate that they are free to do what they like and invite who they like.
In fact I personally hate the whole fuss and stress generated by a big white wedding. I got married in Japan - NO ONE was invited. Neither set of parents were there.
HOWEVER I had the decency to inform interested parties of the event.
Sorry Pinklipgloss, I meant why the OP feels she has a right to know before the event.0 -
Just because you made the choice to have someone at your wedding that you don't really like does not mean everyone else should. It was your choice for your wedding as it was the OPs sons choice for his wedding.
I see your point but read Maggies first post.My Son got married recently and I only found out on a social network site.
I am devastated and keep asking myself what have I done to be shunned this way.!
Always worked hard an d put my family first I am a divorced parent of some years but living with my partner we all on the surface get on ok
I have never met his new wife and this young lady has never been mentioned but I was aware that he was seeing someone .
Is this a generation thing!!
Before anyone asks my son has been away at university and rarely comes home but we keep in touch.
She and her son werent estranged they were in contact if only occasionally. If they werent talking then i could understand it.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
TBH, if either of my sons decided to get married and not tell (never mind invite me) I would be upset, but would understand that there would be a valid reason, whether or not I ever know what it was.
In fact, me & DH (not the boys' dad) thought DS1 was going to get married away from everyone last year after a couple of cryptic emails from him - she has a large family, he has 2 parents & 2 spares (me & their dad both remarried), and they aren't the type to want lots of fuss or frills. If it had happened, it would have been nice to know to be able to help them out, but if that's how they want to do it then its their lives, not mine.
OP, I would be upset not to wear a posh frock & hat
, but happy that they have decided to settle down together - regardless of whether I was there to witness it or not. As to how you found out - only you know the extent of your relationship with your son. We can only make assumptions from what we have read. 0 -
If I ever get married I doubt I will invite my family (and we are on speaking terms) I would just go and do it, perhaps invite them to the reception though
I didn't invite any family to my wedding (or my OH's) but they at least knew we were getting married. I'm very close to my family, but we were thousands of miles away in another country when we got married.0 -
Well, we've hashed over possible reasons and scenarios. The OP doesn't seem inclined to confirm the actual relationship, so the most productive thing to do is to look to the future, which is a tad difficult to do when we don't know the actual relationship.
Can you use this as an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your son? More to the point, is it something you would like to do?
If so, how about arranging to meet the new couple, at your place or even you going up to their town, to take them for a meal to celebrate?0 -
But it's one thing to get married with a couple of witnesses and nobody else - but to invite her family and not his, that is hurtful and I can see why OP is upset
This is what would upset me. That her family had been invited and his hadn't.
If my son did this I'd be incandescent."If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0
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