Not told of Son's wedding

BitterAndTwisted

Under the circumstances I think the OP is behaving very graciously indeed. I'm not sure that I could but at least they are ensuring that no doors are firmly closed for the future.

The whole thing is very, very strange. I can't imagine wanting to marry someone without meeting a single member of their family first.

FATBALLZ

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Inviting 30 of her family and not even telling his own side is not low key...it's bizarre.

Or more likely 'low key' is an excuse to spare the OPs feelings. I'd suggest if they do follow your advice of going off in a rant at her son, she ask if the real reason is that he doesn't like his family.

maggy50

I have read through all the comments regarding my posting and I would like to clarify the situation .

Firstly my son is a mature student and we are on speaking terms .

Since going to university he became a changed person.

I have visited him several times helped him financially but in
a giving way as he would not put on me in any way.

At holiday times Christmas etc he has made excuses that he is busy with work and prefers to stay at uni , naturally I just would not interfere as reading between the lines he was happy and that was ok by me.

My ex husband are on good terms we were invited to our other son,s wedding a few years ago we would not have dreamt of missing this occasion and it went ok.

I have now offered to meet up for Sunday lunch sometime to meet the happy couple and will then try and unravel the reasoning behind not inviting or notifying me about the wedding.

They do not live locally if they did I would not have hesitated in going to ask them the reason , it probably is a good thing as I was very upset by all this.

Having now calmed down spoke to several members of the family who by the way are astounded by his behaviour the only excuse I can make is that he is incredibly selfish and possibly over indulged as a child , my fault I take full responsibility !!

You reap what you sow as one or two posters have commented.

Lesson Learned !!

paddy's_mum

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Honestly if I were the bride I'd be wondering why I hadn't ever been introduced to my husband-to-be's family or why none of them were coming to the wedding......unless, of course, my husband-to-be and given me some story (my bolding) about estrangement and not being on speaking terms with them.

This is my view, exactly. Well put, Welshwoofs.

I suspect that there is a raft of lies by the son behind all this. Perhaps it is compounded of resentment or embarrassment or snobbery.

OP - did you help to pay his way through university? Did any member of your family attend the wedding?

I also think that the congratulations card might just provoke the new d-i-l to be asking some questions and insisting on answers. She's a besotted fool if she simply accepts his exclusion and/or denial of his family and background.

I find it hard to believe that some mild tale of family woe was enough to stymie any questions whatever from the bride's side - to render 30 odd people silent takes one helluva story, don't you think?

Only the son can answer but I too would be simply devastated.

Wickedkitten

Why on earth would it have to be that he is lying to her? By the sound of it, he just isn't as close to his mother as she thinks he is.

FATBALLZ

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that some mild tale of family woe was enough to stymie any questions whatever from the bride's side - to render 30 odd people silent takes one helluva story, don't you think?

Disagree. So if your partner told you their family were a bunch of nasty !!!!!! you'd refuse to take his word for it and demand to get them in a room to interrogate them as to this viewpoint? My partner hasn't met most of my immediate family (after nearly 10 years) for this reason. If she refused to take my word for it I would find her very odd and our relationship wouldn't have lasted very long.

burnoutbabe

you;d have to wonder about marry a man who doesn't invite his mum/dad brother any family at all?

its not just not inviting mum (for some reason), its every member of his immediate family isn't it? aren't the rest of them pretty annoyed? what does his dad and brother think?

Wickedkitten

burnoutbabe wrote: »

you;d have to wonder about marry a man who doesn't invite his mum/dad brother any family at all?

its not just not inviting mum (for some reason), its every member of his immediate family isn't it? aren't the rest of them pretty annoyed? what does his dad and brother think?

Why would you wonder about it? Not everyone wants their entire family about when they get married, it doesn't mean that they don't love them.

Mojisola

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Why would you wonder about it? Not everyone wants their entire family about when they get married, it doesn't mean that they don't love them.

I'd wonder why he didn't want me to meet any of his family.

Blackpool_Saver

Selfish little git like all the kids today