Not told of Son's wedding

Mojoworking

Maggy50 I wish I was half as nice as you - one day he'll realise what a horrid thing he did by not even telling you prior and I think you've behaved really classy - I would've ranted, raved and wailed and given them both enough ammo to last a life time to justify no invite.

Good luck at the Sunday lunch - is anyone going with you?

Taadaa

burnoutbabe wrote: »

the wife has 30 guests on her side and not one would comment "strange that the groom hates his family that much that no one came/he invited no one". Come on, it would look very strange and we'd all comment if we went to such a one sided wedding.

I'd assume he had no love for them at all if he didn't invite them and the other side had all their relations.

Exactly, everyone of those guests has speculated the reason why. To not invite any of them, to have never met any of them, is odd imho. If I was a guest I would wonder not only what they had done, but also what sort of person the groom was to be so full of hate. Unless there is an orphan/in care story, and not all 30 guests would know the intimate details anyway surely.

Unless as B&T has suggested he has been isolated by them for some reason. The OP has hinted that he has changed since he went to uni. Not changed so much that he can't take her money though.

Very sad situation for OP.

Wickedkitten

lostinrates wrote: »

We had no family at our wedding. Having one side would have felt uneven and hurtful.

When I got married, I didn't have anyone else there either, that's mainly because we were on the same page in regards to our wanting to have our vows was a private issue. If he had wanted his family there though, I would have respected that, but I certainly wouldn't have felt the need to invite my family along just because he had invited his.

pimento

Welshwoofs wrote: »

People are curious and having a full set of relatives from one side and not a bloody one from the other is really unusual.

Our wedding had 32 guests and nobody from my husband's side of the family, BUT his mother lived in New Zealand and he had lost touch with her and his father was dead. He has no siblings, well, only half siblings that he didn't find out about until a long time after the wedding.

We deliberately kept the ceremony small because of this and I had immediate family and our friends only (our friends sat on his side of the church so it wasn't completely deserted) and then all the rest of my family and our not so close friends came to the evening do. About 150 all together.

I can't imagine getting married and not having my mum and dad there.

Person_one

Wickedkitten wrote: »

When I got married, I didn't have anyone else there either, that's mainly because we were on the same page in regards to our wanting to have our vows was a private issue. If he had wanted his family there though, I would have respected that, but I certainly wouldn't have felt the need to invite my family along just because he had invited his.

Would you not have considered the impact on your loved ones to see his family invited and not them?

Wickedkitten

Person_one wrote: »

Would you not have considered the impact on your loved ones to see his family invited and not them?

Not in the slightest, but then again I am saying that from the position of being about as distant from my parents as the earth is from pluto

globetraveller

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Why would you wonder about it? Not everyone wants their entire family about when they get married, it doesn't mean that they don't love them.

Have you read the OP? He hadn't even told his mother about his bride! If that is love, god knows what hate would be.

jellyhead

Wickedkitten wrote: »

When I got married, I didn't have anyone else there either, that's mainly because we were on the same page in regards to our wanting to have our vows was a private issue. If he had wanted his family there though, I would have respected that, but I certainly wouldn't have felt the need to invite my family along just because he had invited his.

That's interesting. Maybe that's what happened - he didn't want fuss whereas she wanted her family there.

I can imagine my prickly son doing the same to be honest - he hates parties. He didn't even go to his prom last week!

Wickedkitten

globetraveller wrote: »

Have you read the OP? He hadn't even told his mother about his bride! If that is love, god knows what hate would be.

Of course I read the OP. I already said that they are obviously not as close as she thinks they are

poet123

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Of course I read the OP. I already said that they are obviously not as close as she thinks they are

Is that usual though for one side to have such a different perception of a relationship than the other?

Everyone has issues with their adult kids, but underlying all that there is usually love, or one would hope so in the majority of cases, (barring major abuse etc) I would think that the OP would know if she had done something or if their relationship was so damaged that this kind of thing was to be expected, she clearly didn't.

Feel free not to answer, but do your parents realise how you feel about them and why?