Written out of parents will

Person_one · 15 December 2010 at 3:21PM

alexlyne wrote: »

being cut out of a will?
so when they die you get no money?... I dunno about anyone else, but I don't live off the certainty that my parents are going to give or even leave me any money - if they told me that they were planning to spend it all themselves then I'd tell them to go for it and enjoy it as they earned it. Trying to hold inheritance over someone as a bargaining chip is ridiculous and rather petty.

At least you won't have to get involved in sorting their estate (your sister can have the fun of that all to herself!)

Its more that its an indication if how they feel I imagine. If your last act as a parent is to essentially say "I have X amount of money that I have to give to someone, but I'm giving it all to your sister and none to you because I don't like you" then I don't think it matters whether the amount is £10 or £100,000 the hurt is the same and is very different to them choosing to spend it themselves.

fairylittle · 15 December 2010 at 3:42PM

I should of said that I really don't care about the money or being written out of the will, it was the really nasty message my mum left on my phone it upset me so much

My gran died a few years ago and left me a pearl necklace which was given to my dad to give to me, I was told by my dad I couldn't go to her funeral. When I asked about the necklace my mum said that they had lost it!!
They have been pretty awful to me all my life but I've always kept in touch because they're my parents but that voicemail was really the last straw, I haven't spoken to them since which is about 18 months now.
I just can't help feeling guilty even tho they haven't behaved like parents should in my opinion, I would never act like that with my own children

Clive_Woody · 15 December 2010 at 3:50PM

fairylittle wrote: »

Hi

this is a long story - sorry

my parents and my sister have fallen out due to the fact that they think I have not phoned enough. I got a very horrible message on my mobile saying they were disgusted with me and I had left them with no choice but to cut me out of their will.

They did not come to my daughter's christining or my MIL's funeral and when I nearly died a few years ago from pneumonia they did not visit me in hospital

Now with Christmas round the corner I feel I should get in touch BUT I can't cope with the abuse I know I will get on the phone, my kids don't want to know their Grandparents and DH has refused to visit them

They refused to come to my wedding coz they said I wanted to be the centre of attention :eek: but came in the end anyway after not paying a penny towards it

Should I just concentrate on my own family or forgive them AGAIN???

If they weren't my parents I would not like them at all if you know what I mean

Send her a Christmas card and never mention the will ever again and show absolutely no reaction to her comments when talking with her.

Primrose · 15 December 2010 at 4:08PM

You don't have to speak to them on the phone if you're worried about the verbal abuse you might possibly receive and don't know how to deal with it.

Send them a Christmas card with a brief chatty letter and perhaps a photo of you and your family and leave it at that. If they're feeling a little regretful at the way they've behaved, this is their chance to make a move to respond in an amicable way. If you don't hear from them, nothing has been lost and you can just get on with your own life with your own family. Better not to spew further abuse at Christmas. If you've behaved in a charitable way, your own conscience can be clear. How they decide to behave is really up to them. Sometimes you have to accept that some family members just don't get on with each other and in these cases it's probably better for everybody to go their individual ways.

BitterAndTwisted · 15 December 2010 at 4:12PM

I wouldn't be sending any Christmas cards! I would have written these vindictive and poisonous vermin out of my life a very long time ago.

What sort of parents would decline to visit their own daughter in hospital, apart from all of the other slights and abuses? The kind that deserve to die friendless and alone, that's the kind.

Wave goodbye to them with a smile on your face. I would

SkintGypsy · 15 December 2010 at 5:42PM

Agreed Bitterandtwisted. Family is important, but only if they act like family. If they would treat a stranger in the street with more kindness and courtesy then that is the time to sever ties. Some people don't deserve a family.

pupsicola · 15 December 2010 at 6:35PM

fairylittle wrote: »

Hi

this is a long story - sorry

my parents and my sister have fallen out due to the fact that they think I have not phoned enough. I got a very horrible message on my mobile saying they were disgusted with me and I had left them with no choice but to cut me out of their will.

They did not come to my daughter's christining or my MIL's funeral and when I nearly died a few years ago from pneumonia they did not visit me in hospital

Now with Christmas round the corner I feel I should get in touch BUT I can't cope with the abuse I know I will get on the phone, my kids don't want to know their Grandparents and DH has refused to visit them

They refused to come to my wedding coz they said I wanted to be the centre of attention :eek: but came in the end anyway after not paying a penny towards it

Should I just concentrate on my own family or forgive them AGAIN???

If they weren't my parents I would not like them at all if you know what I mean

Concentrate on your kids and husband and forget about parents who treat you so appallingly. Whats the matter with them? I cant get over that they didn't want to come to your wedding because you would be centre of attention for the day:eek:. Its meant to be the bride and grooms day, of course they are centre of attention.

It is petty and unecessary that they have cut you out their will. You cant control the way your adult children behave by doing things like that. So if you were a "good girl" and lived exactly as they want they would leave you their cash. You cant live that way. No-one could effectively buy me to live how they see fit.

See it as a release. When they are old and needy and have no family around that want to know them, they will regret this.

Freddie_Snowbits · 15 December 2010 at 6:48PM

Father had the same feelings when he married the wicked witch in the North.

Will was not worth the paper it was written on when he passed on, even his solicitor agreed so.

Although one wishes it not to be, seek advice from a qualified solicitor, even only for peace of mid.

Also see here

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/index.htm

Savvy_Sue · 15 December 2010 at 7:32PM

sassyblue wrote: »

times are changing and if you challenged it l can see it would be overturned in your favour.

I believe there would be very few grounds to challenge it unless

it's a Scottish will
the claimant was financially dependent on the deceased
the deceased was not of sound mind at the time of writing the will
the deceased was pressurised into making the will
the will was invalid tecnically, eg not signed (correctly), not witnessed (correctly) etc

Mojisola wrote: »

If you live in Wales or England, I doubt you would have any success in challenging their will. People are allowed to leave their money to whoever they want.

exactly.

piratefairy wrote: »

If they truly want to write you out of their will, it probably wouldn't matter what you did to try and change that / communicate wiht them or otherwise, if their mind is made up.

precisely.

scooby088 · 15 December 2010 at 7:40PM

All i'd say is dead mans money is good to no one and just tell them to go and do one..end of really.

Written out of parents will

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