Written out of parents will

pupsicola

fairylittle wrote: »

Thanks again to everyone for your kind words, I am genuinally moved by people taking the time and trouble to comment. I have never stood up to my family in the past, apart from my wedding when they offered me quite a lot of money if I would have a small registry office do rather than a church wedding. That is when they said I just wanted to be the centre of attention!!
I organised the whole wedding by myself and DH and I paid for everything, it wasn't an extravagant wedding, we couldn't afford an evening reception but it was a lovely day and I cherish the memories and the photos
I cried my eyes out after my daughters christening as I had no one from my family there but I've come to realise that it is them who are missing out not me.

I think your kids are extremely lucky. Your parents dont deserve you, yet you are tearing yourself in two about what has gone on and whether to maintain contact. What your kids will be picking up on is how loyal you are to people you love. That despite all that has been thrown at you, it hasn't effected how much you care about people and the relationships in your life. The world would be a much better place if more people had your qualities :T

hitchins

pupsicola wrote: »

I think we may be distant relatives, we have one like that in our family too. A total headcase :mad:

I think we all have one. I have cut all ties with my only sibling (brother). Used to dread having anything to do with him, birthdays, Christmas etc, horrible, selfish man, and it's the best thing I did. I no longer have a brother as far as I am concerned. My poor parents only put up with him for sake of the grandchildren.

henpecked1

fairylittle wrote: »

Hi

this is a long story - sorry

my parents and my sister have fallen out due to the fact that they think I have not phoned enough. I got a very horrible message on my mobile saying they were disgusted with me and I had left them with no choice but to cut me out of their will.

They did not come to my daughter's christining or my MIL's funeral and when I nearly died a few years ago from pneumonia they did not visit me in hospital

Now with Christmas round the corner I feel I should get in touch BUT I can't cope with the abuse I know I will get on the phone, my kids don't want to know their Grandparents and DH has refused to visit them

They refused to come to my wedding coz they said I wanted to be the centre of attention :eek: but came in the end anyway after not paying a penny towards it

Should I just concentrate on my own family or forgive them AGAIN???

If they weren't my parents I would not like them at all if you know what I mean

when the times comes, stick them in the worst residential home going.

hitchins

henpecked1 wrote: »

when the times comes, stick them in the worst residential home going.

Excellent! :rotfl:

pupsicola

henpecked1 wrote: »

when the times comes, stick them in the worst residential home going.

:beer: :T:T:beer:

meritaten

henpecked1 wrote: »

when the times comes, stick them in the worst residential home going.

but dont forget to empty their bank accounts first!


I dont mean that! you are too nice! just send a xmas card, sign it and forget them for another year! you dont need the hassle hun!

Stephb1986_2

If I were you I would move on with my life and forget about them they know where you are and your number if they need or want you, I don't mean that harsh but atleast then your happy in your own little bubble not worrying about them.

After years of hell I've disowned my own brother he is nothing but a scumbag and my mum feels the same too. He just goes out of his way to make things horrible and about him all the time. We don't need him in our lives to make us feel that way.

I think that people get to a certain point with family especially where sometimes they aren't good people to be around and enough is enough. I think that maybe this is the point for you. Only you can make that decision though.

Good luck

Steph xx

onlyroz

ceridwen wrote: »

I thought that was the whole idea - ie that the "happy couple" and most specifically the woman ARE the "centre of attention" at the wedding <puzzled smilie>.

Don't be silly. Weddings are arranged for the vanity of the MOTHER, and not the BRIDE.

My mum did her best to ruin my wedding because I didn't do what she wanted, so you have my sympathies.

slightlyconfused1

Hi

Parents are great at making us feel guilty. A threat to "cut you out of the will" sounds like a desperate attempt to regain control of you. Something they are not entitled to have.

If you would feel better by sending them a card then do so. I wouldn't make any further attempt to open up the lines of communication by enclosing a letter or photo.

Do whatever you have to to make peace with yourself (be that ignore them or send them a card) and then concentrate on the family that love you and you love.

At the end of the day the one person you have to live with is yourself so do what feels right (or least wrong) in a situation that you did not create and bear no responsibility for.

Counting_Pennies_2

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies, but had a chance to see what you have written.

I always believe in the saying that children are leant to parents for the first 18 years of their life and if either side cannot fullfil their part of a loving contract after that time, then there cannot be any right to stay in contact.

You have served your time with them. They cannot be reasonable. The very fact they refuse to acknowledge your children says it all.

Funny they are sending things to your inlaws. My parents are very similar, sob story and letters sounding all reasonable to the inlaws, but nightmare to us.

When I called my mother to say I had postnatal depression with my second child and really needed help, her reply was 'Been there, got the t-shirt'. For the first time in my life I put the phone down on her. She then called back and left a vile answer phone message. I played it back to a friend and she was horrified. At that point I took the courage that she would no longer dominate my life with her vile comments.

I see her for a cordial few visits a year. I try very hard not to be in her company for more than a few hours on each visit.

It is your choice, you can do a few cordial contacts to keep yourself happy you have contact, or carry one with your life and not look back.

hth