Written out of parents will

fairylittle

Hi

this is a long story - sorry

my parents and my sister have fallen out due to the fact that they think I have not phoned enough. I got a very horrible message on my mobile saying they were disgusted with me and I had left them with no choice but to cut me out of their will.

They did not come to my daughter's christining or my MIL's funeral and when I nearly died a few years ago from pneumonia they did not visit me in hospital

Now with Christmas round the corner I feel I should get in touch BUT I can't cope with the abuse I know I will get on the phone, my kids don't want to know their Grandparents and DH has refused to visit them

They refused to come to my wedding coz they said I wanted to be the centre of attention :eek: but came in the end anyway after not paying a penny towards it

Should I just concentrate on my own family or forgive them AGAIN???

If they weren't my parents I would not like them at all if you know what I mean

shaven-monkey

1. Forgive them, Forget them, move on.

2. Thank them for getting in touch so close to christmas and you really are grateful that they could share their feelings with you via voicemail. You really appreciate the thought and sentiment and that you return it.

3. Leave them a voicemail message saying you're writing them out of Your will in the most petulant tone you can muster. See what occurs.

4. phone out of the blue and as part of your news tell them your mobile got stolen shortly before the message arrived and see if the same threat comes out. If so, ask them what exactly they want from you. Don't get angry, don't retell their many crimes just ask what they want until something vaguely reasonable is said. If you don't get any sort of rational answer then goto 1.

5. point them to your post and say "if you weren't the mad instigator of this weird bit of emotional / financial blackmail, what would you advise?"

ailuro2

don't know why anyone would write anyone else out of their will, the only reason I can think of is they don't want anyone to forget how nasty they are, even after they are dead.....

you can choose your friends but not your relatives, I have also discovered over the past few years that blood might be thicker than water, but if some of those blood vessels are fillied with pure vile it's better to sever all ties and get on with living the life you want to have, not the one parents would expect you to have...

Give your kids a big hug and tell them how much you love them, and your DH too. Enjoy your Christmas without the emotional drain of the people who don't want to be part of it. In the New Year if you feel differently you can get in touch...

Lucy1973

I knid of know what you are going thru. My parents were giving me a hard time after my brother moaned that I didn't call him(he lives in cornwall,he only has a mobile with a lousy signal,plus a few other things inc him not inviting us to the christening of his daughter). I've decided to cut brother out of my life.

OP your family sound very harsh. Why didn't they also make the effort to phone you?? esp when you were so ill. I'd be inclined to just leave them,as difficult as it is,and concentrate on your own little family (((hugs))) x

robpw2

fairylittle wrote: »

d
They refused to come to my wedding coz they said I wanted to be the centre of attention :eek:

:rotfl::rotfl:who is meant to be centre of attention at a wedding :rotfl::rotfl:

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Why should you get in touch? If you want to get in touch, then by all means do so. You could take the opportunity to mention in passing, if they refer to cutting you out of the wills, that you had a little win on the lottery, so a few thousand here or there at some point in the future doesn't make much difference to you any more. :whistle:

Or you could say 'that's OK, I get legal aid, so I'll be able to contest the will long enough for every penny to be eaten up by lawyer's fees in any case, so nobody will get anything'.


If you aren't that way inclined, then don't worry about it. If they need to display such attention seeking behaviour, then what will tee them off most of all is for them to lose their audience.

They haven't been around for your big days, they haven't been around when you were at death's door, and now they're giving you grief for not running after them when they can't be bothered to do anything themselves.


Let them find another audience for their histrionics.

Becles

A relative had a vile rant and us and ended by saying she was cutting us out of her will. I said I'd rather have dignity and manners than money, and that shut her up :rotfl:

liney

Becles wrote: »

A relative had a vile rant and us and ended by saying she was cutting us out of her will. I said I'd rather have dignity and manners than money, and that shut her up :rotfl:

That's classic. Well done :T

richardw

fairylittle wrote: »

Should I just concentrate on my own family

Sounds a good plan.

liney

If it were me, I might send them a Christmas card, being the season of good will and all, but if they don't respond then it's their loss.

If they do respond, then i'd still keep my distance, but if my interpretation of you post is correct, you will still be fulfilling your duty to be in contact with your parents.

Some people are just poison, and unfortunately they are dotted around in our families.

Triker

The 'I'm cutting you out of the will' threat usually only comes when people want to draw people back into some kind of drama.

It seems like they're throwing out some bait to see if it'll reel you in. Don't bite, if you do, they'll use it again and again as emotional blackmail.

Leave things be, they don't appear to have any particular positive influence anywhere in your life. I severed ties decades ago from particularly poisonous people that I was unfortunately related to....best thing I ever did.

Plus I also got the ' writing you out of the will' (YAWN) threat. So what, I've made my own way in life and the best lesson I've learned from the experience is that if it's not given freely and with love than it's worthless.

Have a lovely christmas with the family that care about you unconditionally. x