A Little Advice

Drea

I know, it's just not much fun at the moment. It's bed time that's the worst, I can't sleep too well without him there, and when I wake up again I get all upset I'm on my own. I'm just being pathetic aren't I?

Mad-Frog

No you are not pathetic you are very normal, you need to get upset thats normal, it will take some time but you will be able to sleep on your own, you WILL get over him but you need to give it some time

How about watching some films, chocolate etc and pamper youself today, it will get easier honey so many people on here have been where you are now

Take care of yourself and keep posting

Good luck xxx

Magpye

I agree with Mad-Frog - it's normal to be upset at times like these. TBH he is doing you a favour by not contacting you at all, it is so much harder when they keep stringing you along by contacting you and making you hope...

Keep remembering that you can do so much better than that and stay strong!

x

Drea

A huge part of me wishes he'd just come home...

hazeyjewel

Just read the thread, and am hoping you'll stay strong enough to ditch this idiot.I have been though the same, and lived to regret it (((HUGS))):o

Drea

My mum left about an hour ago, even waving bye to her when she was getting on the bus I felt myself starting to get upset. It's so empty here now, keep noticing things of his or like the picture of us but I can't move it yet. How can he just go like that?

My mum will probably spot this thread at some point...

oystercatcher

What you are doing is grieving. You've lost the dream , the relationship that you'd hoped would happen . That's normal and an important step in getting better . Later on you might find you get angry with him for all he's done and that's normal too. Just don't let yourself do anything too daft to him or his stuff!!
You might find he does come back and want his stuff so maybe organise it so it's easy for him to get , all in one place etc etc. Work out if you want to be there to protect your stuff or out of the way to avoid a confrontation.
If you feel tearful then hug the cat , a pillow , whatever comes to hand, wallow in it for a while and then you'll feel a bit better. Then put some energy back into sorting out the flat situation. Get it looking as best as possible, you might get some deposit back . Or see if you can find someone nice to share the flat or look for your own little place. Make it YOURS and nice and cosy.
After my horrible divorce I called my house 'Peacehaven' it was my place to rest and recover and it was and still is my haven.

You'll feel much better soon, find some activities you enjoy and do them and you'll naturally find people with the same sort of interests.

Good luck
Oystercatcher

elkay115

Yes your mum did notice this, and so far you are getting good advice so do as you are told. Don't wallow too much, take a couple of weeks to get used to being on your own. Then pack his stuff into bags and leave them in the hall. If he comes for them, pass them out to him, no arguing, no telling him you want him back!

And I felt bad leaving you today too, I wandered around up town for half an hour before I went for a bus home.

One last peice of advice from me! Don't push the people away who have your best interests at heart. They may not be saying what you want to hear, but they are saying what you NEED to hear. You deserve better than him and you know it. You have to learn now to get on with living on your own, and it really isn't all that bad after a while. You get used to it, and you can enjoy it!!!

Primrose

I think possibly you've stuck with this chap as if your life depended on him and have forgotten that you still have the capacity to be a free happy person. Your boyfriend's behaviour sounds as if he's already decided the relationship has reached its "sell by" date and perhaps both of you are too young to make that commitment. Whilst you won't want to hear this , his furtive behaviour over his mobile phone suggests he's already developed a relationship with somebody else, so for your own self-esteem I suggest that you take control and end things. And don't dither about it. I know it will be hard, but if you try to make new friends and get involved in new activities, somebody else who treats you more kindly is bound to come along soon.

Loretta

elkay115 wrote: »

Yes your mum did notice this, and so far you are getting good advice so do as you are told. Don't wallow too much, take a couple of weeks to get used to being on your own. Then pack his stuff into bags and leave them in the hall. If he comes for them, pass them out to him, no arguing, no telling him you want him back!

And I felt bad leaving you today too, I wandered around up town for half an hour before I went for a bus home.

One last peice of advice from me! Don't push the people away who have your best interests at heart. They may not be saying what you want to hear, but they are saying what you NEED to hear. You deserve better than him and you know it. You have to learn now to get on with living on your own, and it really isn't all that bad after a while. You get used to it, and you can enjoy it!!!

Good old Mum, listen to her, she wants sthe best for you