Why are some people on here being so nasty?

lostinrates

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I don't think a job is needed as a way to define yourself, though.

My mother was a teacher. She is very bright - good A levels, good Cambridge undergrad and post grad degrees, and a PGCE. She stopped teaching in 1977, before I was born, and went back part-time for a few years when I was 17.

She doesn't work any more, but doesn't, as far as I know, feel it means she lacks a life definition. She does lots of other things.

I don't think it should be but I think in current culture for people of roughly 'our' age it is ...expected. Interestingly people of mother's generation don't seem to feel the same themselves I think but do feel I should feel this way, lol!

Notably I do do other things, I do a lot of charity stuff (varying from the humble envelope stuffing to the more grandiose function stuff, but I am usually the only person of my generation at those things, or at least the only one not rolling in it ) and I am getting more and more involved with other stuff too, but its amazing how many people don't want volunteers like me!:rolleyes: No profession at my age is often equated with no skills or talents or desire to work.

ETA: importantly DH doesn't necessarily want or need me to be 'wifey', I had to give up my business due to ill health and then did a variety of temporary 'jobs' some fulfilling some not, against medical advice, but felt happier being busy if only in lowly roles. Then I followed DH abroad for his job so now even the lowly jobs think my cv looks like a slackers (plus, residual health problems). I'm actually relly hard working, not proud and although accept a diminishing of skills I believe skills, like muscles, need exercise and that with work anything lost would come back to at least an average standard.

Sir_Humphrey

One thing I might add at this point is that the Civil Service in my experience is quite popular for married women with children.

The advantages are relatively short hours and flexitime, which means that a mother can leave early enough to meet children out of school.

This means that the Civil Service employs people who have a lot to offer, but who would have difficulties meeting the London long hours culture. These are people who's talents might otherwise be under-used, (not that raising children is a waste of talent).

Dan:_4

izzybusy23 wrote: »

No, why should I be? Quite fun actually watching this whole silly mess unfold. You still cr&pping yourself that you have overstretched yourself?

Oh dear, I thought you had grown up since you PM'd me.. obviously not.

:rotfl: Im far from overstretched.

You cant blame everyone else beacuse you can't afford to buy a home izzy

izzybusy23

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Lol, what a lovely young lady.

Just to answer the bit you highlighted in red... I just don't know anyone who would see £ signs instead of nappies, so this just isn't that remarkable.

You're making yourself out to be a hero for not aborting a child so that you can buy a house. I mean, really, it's just what any decent person would do, surely?

And as far as Lilly is concerned, were you not berating the likes of her (new house purchaser) yourself not three pages ago for being 'Idiots', 'sheep', '!!!!', etc. You seem to have a very short memory.

Nope, I have no problems with people like LillyJ buying houses as her purchase is well thought out. Its the greedy mob, the mewers, the BTL'ers, the people that didn't work their sums out and are now up the creek... champagne lifestyles on lemonade budgets and even thats about to dry up very very soon and not soon enough.

You are really a very dislikeable person. When I made the decision to keep my child I was facing homlessness as I wasn't going to take my husband back, I could not get social housing and was faced with a hostel or B&B. Now you tell me what 33 year old faced with that would choose a hostel and a newborn baby over a house and a steady income?? Not many I can assure you, so stick your opinions of me up your backside mate, because I couldn't care less. I am bloody proud to be who I am and what I have come from, if that means renting until house prices return to normal.. THEN SO BE IT.

I can't be ar£ed to reply to you anymore.. I find your attitude disgusting.

izzybusy23

Dan: wrote: »

:rotfl: Im far from overstretched.

You cant blame everyone else beacuse you can't afford to buy a home izzy

Sod off Dan... I'm not interested. You are jealous of everybody waiting to snap up bargains whilst you bought at the peak. Tough luck mate, get used to it.

And its not CAN'T afford to buy a home, its WON'T until house prices return to normal... thats the difference Danny boy, thats the difference, which you and othes can't and won't understand.

Dan:_4

izzybusy23 wrote: »

Sod off Dan... I'm not interested. You are jealous of everybody waiting to snap up bargains whilst you bought at the peak. Tough luck mate, get used to it.

And its not CAN'T afford to buy a home, its WON'T until house prices return to normal... thats the difference Danny boy, thats the difference, which you and othes can't and won't understand.

What's 'normal'?

izzybusy23

Dan: wrote: »

What's 'normal'?

You have a short memory don't you, I am sure we've had this discussion / debate before. :rolleyes:

I consider 3.5 x joint annual income is 'normal' for a decent house, not a shoebox or some cr&ppy newbuild.

izzybusy23

Sir_Humphrey wrote: »

One thing I might add at this point is that the Civil Service in my experience is quite popular for married women with children.

The advantages are relatively short hours and flexitime, which means that a mother can leave early enough to meet children out of school.

This means that the Civil Service employs people who have a lot to offer, but who would have difficulties meeting the London long hours culture. These are people who's talents might otherwise be under-used, (not that raising children is a waste of talent).

Hmmm, used to be but they are not quite so leniant anymore. I work for the government in the social services department which deal with kids, so you would assume being in that line of work they would have more empathy towards working mothers? Nope, not really. The government seems to be turning into the private sector. Ok you have a few more benefits like flexible working and requesting part time hours, but they can refuse.. its not a given. I worked for the government about 7 years ago and always wanted to get back into it and things have really changed. Its all about goals, budgets and constantly restructuring departments these days!!!

izzybusy23

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Oh dear, you really do have a short memory. You didn't mention any of this in your original post. You simply stated that you didn't feel any sympathy for home owners who got into trouble financially because it serves them right for being 'idiots' and 'band wagoners' etc. etc. There was no caveat mentioned at all.



Your story just doesn't make sense. You had a steady job and enough savings to buy a house (I'm assuming a deposit here), but you made the heroic decision to live in a hostel and have a baby?

I think I would have made the choice not to buy a house but to rent one for me and my little one.

OMG you really don't get it do you?????????? Did I say I lived in the damn hostel?????????? Nope, never did.. I said I was faced with the prospect of living in a hostel as that is all that was on offer from the 'government' as there was no social housing.

For your info I RENTED a house when I was 5 months pregnant with no help from anybody, no housing benefit, no income support, all on my own, even when on maternity leave on £104 a week. So yeah, too bloody right I big myself up on occasions.. why not, no other person is going to do if for me.

Edited to say.. where the hell did I say I had enough money to buy a house?????????? I came out of my marriage with £2500 after solicitors fee's... and £1000 of that went on a months rent upfront, a month and a half deposit and fee's. Christ, you really read between the lines mate don't you?

Dan:_4

izzybusy23 wrote: »

Sod off Dan... I'm not interested. You are jealous of everybody waiting to snap up bargains whilst you bought at the peak. Tough luck mate, get used to it.

And its not CAN'T afford to buy a home, its WON'T until house prices return to normal... thats the difference Danny boy, thats the difference, which you and othes can't and won't understand.

Whatever

Your a nasty piece of work slagging off people for buying a home. I think it's because you CAN'T afford to and are therefore praying that they come into your price range because you hate renting and I don't blame you because renting is !!!!!! - you know it and I know it.