Why are some people on here being so nasty?

izzybusy23

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

"Whatever", yourself. My statement still stands, even more after your latest outburst. Calling people "Thick !!!!" and "idiots" just because they bought a house merely helps to show what a nasty piece of work you are. Has it not crossed your mind that perhaps most of these "idiots" were parents simply trying to provide a secure and stable home to raise their children in? Gloating at other people's misfortunes is about as low as one can get, and really doesn't reflect well on your character.

The good thing is that people like you are never happy, so enjoy your gloating and smugness while it lasts because while these people will eventually get through their problems (one way or another), but you'll always be jealous, small-minded and miserable. I almost pity you.

Oh, and while you may have "told your story"* many times, I'm going to have to break it to you that you're not famous and this isn't "Hello!" magazine. Few people know your story and fewer will even care. So while you may think you're a 'big cheese on this forum, you're small beer to me, my dear.

Regards,
Dithering Dad.

*Your story sounds very dramatic though. I'm sure it's worthy of a Hollywood screen-play. I will have to check the fine print of my mortgage though because I'm sure it doesn't mention anything about having to abort 'well longed for' children in order to buy a house. Though perhaps your mortgage was going to be arranged via the Bank of Herod?

Whoever said I thought I was a big cheese on this forum??

I get sick of being berated for not buying a home because 'I missed the boat' or was 'too scared'. As I stated above, my reason for not buying was for a totally different reason and one that I have had to justify to people time and time again (hence the reason for saying about 'my story').

I simply believed that keeping my child was far more important to me than loading myself up for a shed load of debt to buy an overpriced shoebox and be childless. (Edited to add, violent abusive husband, left him with a house 'we owned' to go it alone with my child). I had a 'medical problem' so my child was a miracle to me, hence why I am so passionate about not always choosing homes over children.. you never know when your biological clock will run out or run into other difficulties not evisaged.

I called people thick idiots for being 'sheeple' for getting onto the mortgage ladder at any cost without thinking things through like redundancy, sickness, pregnancy, cost of borrowing going up etc. Sorry but I am entitled to my opinion. If people cannot think for themselves then there really isn't any hope for them.

I do not think I am a celebrity, far from actually as I never have tried to keep up with Jones'.. unlike a lot of people have done which is why they are starting to be in one big sorry mess.

Just to clarify things... I said about 'my story' as the more active members of the forum would had read about it numerous times before.

LillyJ

izzybusy23 wrote: »

Whoever said I thought I was a big cheese on this forum??

I get sick of being berated for not buying a home because 'I missed the boat' or was 'too scared'. As I stated above, my reason for not buying was for a totally different reason and one that I have had to justify to people time and time again (hence the reason for saying about 'my story').

I simply believed that keeping my child was far more important to me than loading myself up for a shed load of debt to buy an overpriced shoebox and be childless. I had a 'medical problem' so my child was a miracle to me, hence why I am so passionate about not always choosing homes over children.. you never know when your biological clock will run out or run into other difficulties not evisaged.

I called people thick idiots for being 'sheeple' for getting onto the mortgage ladder at any cost without thinking things through like redundancy, sickness, pregnancy, cost of borrowing going up etc. Sorry but I am entitled to my opinion. If people cannot think for themselves then there really isn't any hope for them.

I do not think I am a celebrity, far from actually as I never have tried to keep up with Jones'.. unlike a lot of people have done which is why they are starting to be in one big sorry mess.

Just to clarify things... I said about 'my story' as the more active members of the forum would had read about it numerous times before.

Just ignore the man. I have decided that is my last post in reply to him, he is not much short of troll and a very sad, lonely and jelous one at that.

It seems he is just out to try to stir things up, especially people whom he feels have more than him. I hope he gets help for his anger and negativity towards life, but I suspect he will just continue being bitter to old age.

I don't know your story either but congratulations on having a baby, it isn't always easy for some people is it?

izzybusy23

LillyJ wrote: »

I don't know your story either but congratulations on having a baby, it isn't always easy for some people is it?

Thank you. And no it isn't always as straight forward as you think conceiving, which is why I do think it quite sad that some people may well put off having children to get on the property ladder and later find out that they have medical problems which may prevent them falling pregnant.

This boom has caused many successes and failures, but some failures will run deeper than just monetary.

Kez100

Oh my. I can't believe what I am reading. Well done JL on more than holding your own; I'd have walked away with exasperation even earlier.

Kez100

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I'm sure they find each re-telling more interesting than the last.

Honestly. Have you lost your pills?

I often reiterate stuff on here thinking should I or shouldn't I, as it's relevant to new posters although old ground for the more seasoned poster. Then I do post, because people who already know can skim it and understand why, because we are here to give our own opinions and advice from experience. I don't suppose I am the only one.

Relax. JL may (or may not) make mistakes - haven't we all? I haven't been encouraging her to buy, however, if she chooses to it's her choice and no one can accuse her of not going into this eyes wide open and clearly having done her homework. So what if Izzy and her get on. You'll run a lonely and narrow minded life if you are only ever friends with people who have exactly your opinions and aspirations.

lostinrates

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I agree with that. I'm still my parents' oldest child, still my sisters' and brother's older sister, still OH's girlfriend, and also Isaac's mother. But I'm me, and the relationships don't stop that at all.

I think having a profession helps with that. I have to admit (at 29, married for 3 years, with same partner for 5) I DO feel sometimes like JUST somebody's wife and daughter rather than my own woman.

I regret no longer being in a position to be 'professional' because I feel some loss of identity through that, despite also feeling in another way satisfied with my role as fulltime wife. If I had children I'd probably feel more...comfortable...with this status quo, but as it is....well, I'm realising recently I'm really not.:o I miss my business, I miss being more intellectually challenged. I am lucky I get to meet an array of interesting people and as my own woman there is lots more I'd like to say and ask of these people, but as somebody's wife and somebody's daughter I feel that my behavious has to be somewhat more modified, without a career your actions reflect more on the 'breadwinner' in your life than if it were my actions as a ' person of status' in my own right.

Sorry personal whinge over.:o

Kez100

OK, I agree, detail not required, but you then did it with your bottom of market, stone cottage. It is a bit self indulgent and irrelevant and I think many of us are guilty of too much information from time to time but, if it's a price we have to pay for getting a lot of very good advice on here, then so be it.

Sir_Humphrey

lostinrates wrote: »

I think having a profession helps with that. I have to admit (at 29, married for 3 years, with same partner for 5) I DO feel sometimes like JUST somebody's wife and daughter rather than my own woman.

I think this is quite common for a lot of women. Perhaps you need to be careful here, as this sort of feeling can become a resentment as time goes on.

This is sort of what I was on about with couples wanting different things in life. Some men want a wifey, when wifey may not be 100% what "wifey" wants.

This makes me quite relieved to be a bloke (a bloke who does not feel he has to be looked after). Platonic :grouphug: to you.

neverdespairgirl

lostinrates wrote: »

I think having a profession helps with that. I have to admit (at 29, married for 3 years, with same partner for 5) I DO feel sometimes like JUST somebody's wife and daughter rather than my own woman.

I regret no longer being in a position to be 'professional' because I feel some loss of identity through that, despite also feeling in another way satisfied with my role as fulltime wife.

I don't think a job is needed as a way to define yourself, though.

My mother was a teacher. She is very bright - good A levels, good Cambridge undergrad and post grad degrees, and a PGCE. She stopped teaching in 1977, before I was born, and went back part-time for a few years when I was 17.

She doesn't work any more, but doesn't, as far as I know, feel it means she lacks a life definition. She does lots of other things.

LillyJ

Sir_Humphrey wrote: »

I think this is quite common for a lot of women. Perhaps you need to be careful here, as this sort of feeling can become a resentment as time goes on.

This is sort of what I was on about with couples wanting different things in life. Some men want a wifey, when wifey may not be 100% what "wifey" wants.

This makes me quite relieved to be a bloke (a bloke who does not feel he has to be looked after). Platonic :grouphug: to you.

That is very true, and it is why I am glad that myself and my OH are successful in our own rights.
He is an excellent police officer with 3 bravery awards, secondment to the drugs and vice teams, and the highest arrest rate in the area. where as I have the academic qualifications and got a good job afterwards. So we are successful in our own ways, but independently none the less. He wouldn't lke me to be "wifey" as he knows I find my career rewarding.

That is one of the reasons that I love the fact we have been together so long. I remember when we were at school and his ambition was to be a policeman, we went through the process from nerve wracking application, to interview, to residential training, to probation and out the other side. He now has 4 years in and I have seen him develop as a person as well as a police officer.

My Mum and neverdespairgirls Mum sound very similar - mine is also a teacher, and very clever, but she was ill and gave up work as she wasn't enjoying it. She now volunteers part time at a hospice and she loves it. My Dad is happy because my Mum is happier.