Why are some people on here being so nasty?

neverdespairgirl

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

By the time you reach 40 you'll be thinking you've wasted your youth, and you'll be right. I have seen so many of my peers who married their first boyfriend/girlfriend split up - it's such a cliche, but people really do have mid-life crisis'.

You can have fun and "live life" as part of a couple, though.

Vested interest time - I too was a "child bride", in that OH and I moved in together when I was 20 and he was 19 (nearly 11 years ago, now). But we did all that together - camping in Mongolia for 2 months, travelling across India, hiking up active volcanos (I lie, OH did that, I had more sense!)

LillyJ

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I think you've just written a hundred words justifying your relationship. Are you justifying it to me or to yourself?

I'm right. you just don't know it yet.

Ha ha ha, how little you really know.

I find it a little sad that so many people must have such unsatisfying relationships that they feel any time spent in one is wasted.

It really is a shame.

LillyJ

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

You can have fun and "live life" as part of a couple, though.

Vested interest time - I too was a "child bride", in that OH and I moved in together when I was 20 and he was 19 (nearly 11 years ago, now). But we did all that together - camping in Mongolia for 2 months, travelling across India, hiking up active volcanos (I lie, OH did that, I had more sense!)

That's precisely what I am getting at, anyone would think I had been at home tied to the kitchen sink since age 16 or something and getting no "life experience".

Ooh ndg I didn't realise you had a toy boy

neverdespairgirl

LillyJ wrote: »

That's precisely what I am getting at, anyone would think I had been at home tied to the kitchen sink since age 16 or something and getting no "life experience".

Ooh ndg I didn't realise you had a toy boy

I agree, you can do things as a couple just as much (sometimes more) than as a single person. Apart from, perhaps, lots of one-night stands with random unsavoury types.

OH is 9 months younger than I am - so his parents were having more fun than mine the day I was born :rotfl:

LillyJ

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

lol, see you in 20 years times, perhaps you won't find it so funny by then?

Just for information, no one said that time spent in a relationship is wasted. I said that marrying the first person you come across is a mistake and rushing from school to uni to mortgage is a mistake. Perhaps you bring in the "time spent in relationships" statement to cloud the issue because you don't want to face these facts?

So all relationships started under the age of 23 fail? Tell that to my grandparents, married age 17, now both 87.

Also, everyone who doesn't have a gap year/spend a year floundering around wondering what to do/being unemployed/dossing with parents has wasted their youth? Going straight from school to uni was the route for 70% of my school year. They didn't all make a mistake, surely?

Next, I am not married. My OH also isn't the first person I came across.

Lastly, in my opinion there is no reason why I should carry on renting rather than buying simply because I am 23 and finished uni one year ago. The monthly cost is the same so I won't be giving up anything in terms of my lifestyle.

I am glad you had such a fulfilling youth, but to be honest you still haven't managed to tell me what such a poor naive soul like me is missing out on?
Most people I know would love to have had 6 years at uni, you can't get much more carefree!

LillyJ

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

OH is 9 months younger than I am - so his parents were having more fun than mine the day I was born :rotfl:

eeewwwwwww!!!!!

You are right though, I reckon all I have missed out on is a trip to the clap clinic!

I bet you don't think you have had an unfulfilling life, a lot of people would love to be in your situation at your age, and I don't think you have been somehow hindered by your relationship!

neverdespairgirl

I don't either. I am very happy with OH, and wouldn't be with him if I weren't. We might have been together for 11 years, but I still in all that time have never met another man half as interesting, compassionate, funny or sexy. So it was a good choice (-:

LillyJ

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

You've gone directly from being your parent's child to being your OH's girlfriend and will no doubt move swiftly on to being your children's parent. Where is the time spend being just "Lilly"?

I think if you looked at statistics you'll see that there is a huge attrition rate for people who get married too young, even more startling than the 50% attrition rate that exists for all married couples. I notice that you mentioned your grandparents rather than your parents. That was a completely different era where it was socially unacceptable to even consider divorce. Even in our parent's time it was frowned upon.

You know I'm right or you wouldnt be so incensed at the words of a total stranger on an internet forum.

I AM NOT MARRIED!!!!
My parents are also still married, I only mentioned my grandparents as my parents can't match 70 years of marriage. (currently 26 years). My OH's parents are also still married, they have been married 30 years.

Also, I am NOT my OH's girlfriend. I am me. SO sad that you see relationships this way, I really do feel for you.
Actually, as an aside, I am still my parent's child, and always will be.

How young do you consider young to be married anyway? I am nearly 24 and as we aren't even engaged, I am likely to be at least 26 before I am married, hardly a child bride.

neverdespairgirl

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I notice that you mentioned your grandparents rather than your parents. That was a completely different era where it was socially unacceptable to even consider divorce. Even in our parent's time it was frowned upon.

My parents married when they were 25 (my Dad) and 27 (my mother). Pretty young by today's standards, and particularly young among barristers. My Dad, who is now 58, is very unusual among his peers in having a grandchild - most barristers his age have children still at school doing GCSEs or A levels, not, as all his children are, post-grads and older.

Oh, and my parents are still very happily married, to each other (-:

neverdespairgirl

LillyJ wrote: »

Also, I am NOT my OH's girlfriend. I am me. SO sad that you see relationships this way, I really do feel for you.
Actually, as an aside, I am still my parent's child, and always will be.

I agree with that. I'm still my parents' oldest child, still my sisters' and brother's older sister, still OH's girlfriend, and also Isaac's mother. But I'm me, and the relationships don't stop that at all.