Advice on Potty training

galvanizersbaby

Mics_chick wrote: »

My ds is 4.5 and due to start school in September and at the beginning of the summer hols was still in nappies :o:o

I know this is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too late and it is mostly my fault rather than any reluctance on my ds's part...

I've had PND since he was born (diagnosed when he was only 2 weeks old) and have been unable to cope with any sort of stress even though I've always been on meds of one sort or another...

So the basic problem has been that I've known it needed tackling but never actually got round to actually doing anything about it.
I only planned on doing it once he was 3.5 anyway as my dd was this age when I trained her.

I finally faced up to give it a proper go during the Easter hols this year but it failed miserably with me getting extremely narky with my ds and him going into the kitchen to do his business on the floor!!!

So I knew this time it was make or break time - the teachers and TAs told me they were prepared to change nappies if need be - and apparently he wasn't going to be the only one in this situation starting this year - but I didn't want that to happen unless we hit serious problems.

I used a sticker chart last time but my ds got bored with it before we reached the end so this time I was determined to get something I KNEW he'd be interested in.

The answer is foam bath letters coz he can read already and loves playing with magnetic and/or bath letters.
I planned to make a sentence with them and then once it was completed I told him he could have them to play with

It took a while to find somewhere that had some in stock but once we had them we started on Sunday afternoon and he's doing fantastically well although it's only 2 days later!!!! :T:T:T
Yesterday he told us twice that he wanted a wee and he's used the toilet instead of the potty everytime today

I can't believe it's gone so well but it has and I'm so relieved - for his sake more than anything.

He had only 1 accident yesterday and he's had a couple of little dribbles today but in the next 4/5 weeks I'm sure he'll be much much better if he keeps up the same rate of progress :D:D

Sorry this post is SOOOOOO long but I'm over the moon and really chuffed with him :j:j

The main reason I wanted to post it was to say that finding the right way to reward your child is essential imho to keep their interest coz a sticker chart worked with my dd but was thoroughly boring for my ds.

I've watched the child behaviour programs like Supernanny alot and I've seen them use various other ways to reward kids - mostly putting small cheap things (like marbles or secondhand figures or toy cars) in a clear jar so they see how full it's getting.
NB the jar shouldn't be too big so that it takes a long time to fill - about 25-30 items is about the right amount imho

I just wanted to post this in case it might help anyone else with this very testing problem

:T:T Glad it's going well for you - long may it continue!

I've heard that boys can be slower than girls in this respect - I was lucky with mine - think my son was nearly 3 so not too bad - don't recall training DD she did it herself cos she has always been a big girl

KellyWelly

Well done, OP! Your son has done really well too - we forget how big a thing potty training is really, all their little lives we tell them to wee and poo in the nappy then all of a sudden we want them to do the complete opposite!

My son was trained when he was a little over 2 and half and he was dry after one day and only one or two accidents. I decided it was time to train him when he started changing his own nappies!!

My daughter decided she wouldn't wear nappies anymore at about 2 and was dry and reliable for about 6 months before she went back to wetting herself almost every time and this lasted for about a year, on and off. It was a real chore to get her to use the toilet and she would just hide it and change her pants and put the wet ones in the wash.

The school will (should be) supportive of his toilet training and will encourage him to go. The only thing I found with my daughter who was not 100% when she started school was she had to get used to going at the required times, break times etc, although she was allowed to go if she needed to they tried to get her to hold on until break and to go even if she wasn't desperate. I just put spare clothes in her bag every day for her and she very soon got used to going at the right time.

Mics_chick

KellyWelly wrote: »

Well done, OP! Your son has done really well too - we forget how big a thing potty training is really, all their little lives we tell them to wee and poo in the nappy then all of a sudden we want them to do the complete opposite!

My son was trained when he was a little over 2 and half and he was dry after one day and only one or two accidents. I decided it was time to train him when he started changing his own nappies!!

My daughter decided she wouldn't wear nappies anymore at about 2 and was dry and reliable for about 6 months before she went back to wetting herself almost every time and this lasted for about a year, on and off. It was a real chore to get her to use the toilet and she would just hide it and change her pants and put the wet ones in the wash.

The school will (should be) supportive of his toilet training and will encourage him to go. The only thing I found with my daughter who was not 100% when she started school was she had to get used to going at the required times, break times etc, although she was allowed to go if she needed to they tried to get her to hold on until break and to go even if she wasn't desperate. I just put spare clothes in her bag every day for her and she very soon got used to going at the right time.

Thanks Kelly

The school are brilliant so I know there won't be a problem there

Mics_chick

Thanks to GalvanizersBaby too

It was a bit more wobbly after I posted today coz he had 2 accidents...
The first time he weed on the armchair (leather thank goodness ) and the second time he went out of the living-room and weed on the hall floor.
Both accidents happened just after I'd asked him if he wanted to use the potty so I wasn't best pleased but tried not to show it.
After that he did wet his pants again but nothing went on the floor or anywhere else and then he came and did the rest of it in his potty :T

It's still very early days but I'm confident he'll be well ready for school by the second week in September

galvanizersbaby

Mics_chick wrote: »

Thanks to GalvanizersBaby too

It was a bit more wobbly after I posted today coz he had 2 accidents...
The first time he weed on the armchair (leather thank goodness ) and the second time he went out of the living-room and weed on the hall floor.
Both accidents happened just after I'd asked him if he wanted to use the potty so I wasn't best pleased but tried not to show it.
After that he did wet his pants again but nothing went on the floor or anywhere else and then he came and did the rest of it in his potty :T

It's still very early days but I'm confident he'll be well ready for school by the second week in September

I wouldn't worry mics chick, its still early days for your DS and as Kelly Welly says the school will be supportive - just let them know the situation
My friends son was not fully dry in the day when he started last Sept and still has accidents - she just puts plenty of spare pants and trousers in - it hasn't been a big prob

jellyhead

My boy is starting school in September and we've been told that school have spare clothes in case of accidents, or we can leave our own spares in their PE bag. It's not just falling over in a puddle - they do expect some toilet accidents, and it's no big deal. We have to sign a form to say staff are allowed to change our children's clothes.

Some children might be too shy to ask permission to go to the toilet, some can't wipe themselves properly yet. My boy can't manage his clothes very well, the pulling up of trousers etc. and I've been told that it will be okay, he'll be helped to begin with.

It will take time for your boy to remember each time that he is supposed to use the toilet, and he might not recognise what it feels like to need to go yet, but it will happen in time. A big well done to him

TotallyBroke

My son is dry at 2.5yo I found that him choosing the pants he wears keeps him dry. Bob the Builder ones are great because no-one is allowed to wee on Bob's head!!! And Roary the Racing car won't be able to race if his engine is wet!! The only annoying thing at the moment is that he wants to stand and wee all the time. So if we are out and no toilets nearby he has to stand and wee in the pot instead of sitting.

maiz

My dd loved just sitting on her potty and she didn't need more than verbal praise. Nursery were really supportive and dd just wanted to use the toilets like the others.
The problem we now have is bedwetting. She is 4 and in pull-ups at night, she calls them bedpants and happily wears them. She has no desire to stay dry at night and the hv hasn't been any help because dd is young. She hasn't had 1 dry night so we haven't even a starting point. Should I be concerned?

jellyhead

I was told by a health visitor (years ago) that ten percent of 5 year olds wear a night time nappy (or regularly wet the bed). It seems to be quite common?

My son had special needs, and at the time the clinic were talking about providing some of his nappies once he turned 3 - I don't know if they still do that, he is 13 now. The health visitor argued against it, saying that it wasn't abnormal for a 3 year old to wear nappies.

galvanizersbaby

TotallyBroke wrote: »

My son is dry at 2.5yo I found that him choosing the pants he wears keeps him dry. Bob the Builder ones are great because no-one is allowed to wee on Bob's head!!! And Roary the Racing car won't be able to race if his engine is wet!! The only annoying thing at the moment is that he wants to stand and wee all the time. So if we are out and no toilets nearby he has to stand and wee in the pot instead of sitting.

Good sign though that he has the right idea! When my son starting standing to wee we abandoned the potty and moved straight to the toilet.

Had an issue with DD wanting to stand and wee for a while (copying big brother) - would just run down her legs and ended up with wet knickers - she was upset because she too wanted a willy so she could wee standing up! - fortunately she got over it!