Advice on Potty training

liney

frugallass wrote: »

liney why are you questioning posts if we are entitled to our own opinions?

Shall we just have a thread of opinions with no interaction then?

I have said there is no right, or wrong time as it's down to the child, but apparently that isn't good enough; i must conceed that all babies can be potty trained, and i won't. I am allowed to disagree, as far as i know it isn't against the rules :T

Emmenelle

My DS was 2 1/2 when he stopped wearing nappies but we too had the 'poo' issue - its apparently very common and the theory is that whilst LO's are quite happy to see the back of a wee, they somehow feel that a poo is part of them, which makes them reluctant to let it go.

We bypassed the potty completely and went straight to a trainer seat on the loo, so he really wanted to use it as he felt like a 'big boy', but what finally did the trick was getting some character pants - he didn't want to wear nappies with Winne the Pooh on, etc, so we got him Power Ranger briefs, which he was thrilled with (and still is!). The first time he soiled the pants, I told him I'd have to put that pair in the bin now and he was mortified - that was it then, completely toilet trained!

Good luck x

GracieP

liney wrote: »

Because you obviously want me to say 'You're absolutely right'. I don't think you are, and i don't actually think i am being hostile, merely answering the points you keep bring up.

You are from the opposit end of the scale to the person you are slating in that your attitude is that babies, not toddlers/pre-schoolers, are perfectly capable of potty training, because apparently you were. Do you not think you persistantly stating that exceptionally young children are capable (who are in a small minority in Western society) could also be upsetting to the mother if her son doesn't take to training at this moment in time?

1. I don't want you to say "you're right." But you keep coming out with soundbites and conjecture about something that you don't really know that much about. You keep saying the same soundbite over and over despite the fact that I've repeatedly addressed the one and only point you keep making.

2. I am not the opposite end of any scale, early training is obviously possible. But as I repeatedly state it is up to each individual to choose what is best for them. I don't think there is any one way of training a child, just what ever the mother (and father) feel is best for their child.

3. Babies in the west aren't so physically different from those in other countries. Our training methods are based on culture and convenience rather than biological imperative. So the geographical location of most early trained babies is immaterial.

4. Just because something is possible in no way means it is wrong not to have done that thing. So no, I don't think that me saying that early training is physically possible, should be taken as criticism by a mother who didn't choose that path. In fact you stated somebody who trains early is a great mother, while I said that it's no indication of the quality of parenting, just a practical approach for people in certain circumstances.

galvanizersbaby

GracieP wrote: »

1.
4. Just because something is possible in no way means it is wrong not to have done that thing. So no, I don't think that me saying that early training is physically possible, should be taken as criticism by a mother who didn't choose that path. In fact you stated somebody who trains early is a great mother, while I said that it's no indication of the quality of parenting, just a practical approach for people in certain circumstances.

I could be wrong but I interpreted Liney's comment as being that a mother who is in tune with the needs of their baby is a great mother - not somebody who toilet trains their child early but perhaps I've got that wrong

I think that is half the problem here, everyone interprets the posts of others very differently sometimes!

elainew

frugallass wrote: »

1. She states 'far too early' - and as Gracie P states this can be quite discouring

2. Do you know how long she has been a nursery nurse for, did she state that she had vast experience of potty training in her work environment?

I wouldn't send my child to a nursery that refuses to potty train until the child can communicate verbally - what a terrible way to run such an establishment.

I've been a nursery nurse for 17 years. In all of those 17 years I have NEVER had a child under 2 potty trained. Yes you can sit them on a potty and by some luck they will do a wee--try doing that with 10 x 2 year olds . No chance

But each to their own. Personally and with all my 17 years experience I wouldnt even try them so young.
Having a 2 year old in nappies was the least of my problems with my own dd.
Stop blooming arguing--do it whatever way you want to .

Nicki

GracieP doesn't have any children of her own, and clearly it would be impossible for her to recall her own experiences of being trained at age 1. Everything she has said therefore is based on what she has read or what others have told her, not first hand experience, and relates to a much younger child. I think adopting the measures she suggests with an older child would be traumatic for both mother and child (based on my first hand experience as a parent, and the experiences of friends with their children, plus a working knowledge of the theory of child development).

21 months is on the early side to start toilet training as others have said, but children do develop at different speeds. It is possible your child is ready (and what you have posted is encouraging). There is no harm in trying to introduce the idea in a fairly low key way, but to be honest I wouldn't advise going cold turkey and completely removing the nappies from him for quite some time to come. That will be majorly stressful for you both! Practising using the potty, reading books about using the potty, and maybe buying some big boy pants together for when he is ready to start more seriously would all be a good start.

The real key though is to be guided by your own instincts and do what you think is right when you think it is right. This kind of subject always brings out the worst kind of competitiveness with parents, and you'll always have those who brag their child was clean and dry from the day after they were born, and the doom mongers who tell you they can's start nursery until they are trained (neither of which is true btw) to make you feel inadequate.

The poster who suggested (and was lynched for doing so) that it is far easier once the child can communicate a need to go was making a lot of sense though. There isn't much point in having a child who can't walk but crawls over to the potty at home independently, but creates a huge mess when you go out to mother and toddler group or the supermarket because he has no way of asking for the potty and has been taken out of nappies prematurely!

liney

Nicki wrote: »

GracieP doesn't have any children of her own, and clearly it would be impossible for her to recall her own experiences of being trained at age 1. Everything she has said therefore is based on what she has read or what others have told her, not first hand experience, and relates to a much younger child. I think adopting the measures she suggests with an older child would be traumatic for both mother and child (based on my first hand experience as a parent, and the experiences of friends with their children, plus a working knowledge of the theory of child development).

21 months is on the early side to start toilet training as others have said, but children do develop at different speeds. It is possible your child is ready (and what you have posted is encouraging). There is no harm in trying to introduce the idea in a fairly low key way, but to be honest I wouldn't advise going cold turkey and completely removing the nappies from him for quite some time to come. That will be majorly stressful for you both! Practising using the potty, reading books about using the potty, and maybe buying some big boy pants together for when he is ready to start more seriously would all be a good start.

The real key though is to be guided by your own instincts and do what you think is right when you think it is right. This kind of subject always brings out the worst kind of competitiveness with parents, and you'll always have those who brag their child was clean and dry from the day after they were born, and the doom mongers who tell you they can's start nursery until they are trained (neither of which is true btw) to make you feel inadequate.

The poster who suggested (and was lynched for doing so) that it is far easier once the child can communicate a need to go was making a lot of sense though. There isn't much point in having a child who can't walk but crawls over to the potty at home independently, but creates a huge mess when you go out to mother and toddler group or the supermarket because he has no way of asking for the potty and has been taken out of nappies prematurely!

:T Hello, Voice of Reason. Pleased to meet you.

GracieP

Nicki wrote: »

GracieP doesn't have any children of her own, and clearly it would be impossible for her to recall her own experiences of being trained at age 1. Everything she has said therefore is based on what she has read or what others have told her, not first hand experience,

Well I do remember my brothers being trained and I trust my own mother above just about anyone in the world. I also have friends who've trained their babies early and been around their trained babies. My mother also was a childminder to 7 different children, who's training she and I were involved in and all were out of nappies by two. (I was 14 to 23 and living at home during this period).

I also never, ever suggested that this type of training was suitable for older children.

I also think your comments on my lack of children of my own was really, really hurtful. You know I had a miscarriage two months ago and am really feeling that loss desperately. As that's something that's happened to you I'm surprised at the lack of sensitivity in your comments.

elainew

Nicki --brilliant post !! nice to meet you.
Grace--sorry to read you had a m/c. Its horrible isnt it--I've had 3 and finally had my dd after 9 years of ivf

shellyaspey

we had the same problems with my little girl ! i was at my wits end , she started on the toilet rather then a pottie as she said she wanted to be a big girl she done a wee no problem but would scream for her nappy on for a poo i would say oh come on you are such a big girl ! made no difference this went on for 2 weeks having to put a nappy on just for a poo ! then one day she went to the toilet and said mammy i have done a poo and she had with absoloutley no pressure from me she done it all by herself ! so maybe just take a back seat and they will do it in there own time ! good luck x