Advice on Potty training

liney

GracieP wrote: »

How many early trained children do you know? That's initially how it works, but because of that the babies never learn that they should defecate on themselves which is what nappies teach them.

From 5 months my mother used to put me on the potty at the time I normally pooed. When I was 8 months I crawled to get my potty when I needed to poo. Which shocked my mother as she hadn't thought she was training me, she had just been saving herself the work of washing a dirty nappy. Within days she stopped putting me in a nappy in the day time and after two accidents I never wet again in the day. By 11 months I had a dry nappy each morning after 12 hours of sleep.

At 13 months I fell headfirst out of a shopping trolley knocking my self unconscious. When my mum picked me up I peed all over her (making her think I was dead) that was the last time I ever wet myself. Back then hospitals had strict visiting hours, even for the parents of infant patients. So I spent 15 hours that night in hospital without being taken to the toilet as the nurse had put me in two nappies (one over the other) and assumed I'd just go in them. By the time my parents were able to see me in the morning I was screaming for the toilet, but I hadn't wet myself.

I might not have been able to take myself to the bathroom but I was able to control my bladder and sphincter which is what potty trained means. Or are you saying that a disabled person with perfect bladder and sphincter control but who can't use the toilet unassisted is actually incontinent? Early toilet training may not be something which you felt was right for you or your child, but that doesn't give you the right to claim it isn't real.

You know what i'd say? Chill out!

You may well be the exception to the rule, but the vast majority of most children do not have real bladder control until they are at least 2 years old. That's not my opinion; ask a doctor.

There is nothing wrong with early training if the child is happy and the caregiver is too. There is nothing wrong with placing a child on the potty to save the washing either, but the majority of children will not be ready until they are past 2 year for physical reasons. Above all each child will 'get it' eventually, and it's not a competition.

tiamai_d

DS1 was toilet trained by 20 months, never used a potty as he was adament that it was the big toilet. He led, just started copying us and asking to go. Wore a night time nappy till he was almost 3 by which point he was dry every morning.

DS2 will be 4 in April and still not fully toilet trained though does ask most of the time.

Differnet kids are ready at different times, if you feel he is ready give it a go, worst that will happen is a few accidents and maybe your foot will get wet (I always find the wet bits with my feet, same with lego). He does sound like he is getting interested, so good luck!

GracieP

liney wrote: »

You know what i'd say? Chill out!

You may well be the exception to the rule, but the vast majority of most children do not have real bladder control until they are at least 2 years old. That's not my opinion; ask a doctor.

I'm perfectly calm but you came on this thread and started stating conjecture as fact. When I point out that your claims are wrong, based on personal experience, you come back with "Chill Out." Seriously?

I was far from the exception to the rule, for one there were both my brothers. Then there are the hundreds of western children who are elimination trained, many who actually learn far earlier than I did. Then there are the billions of Chinese, Indian, African and South American children who were and are being trained in similar ways. I have a number of Asian and Indian friends who have trained their children almost from birth, and were trained this way themselves, like all the previous generations.

Not all babies can master bladder and sphincter control so early. There are reports of babies who have no accidents beyond 6 weeks old and conversely many who take 2 years to get to that level. Everyone is different. And of course it's not a competition, it's up to each parent to choose what method suits them. Nor is it a sign of intelligence. But it is completely possible to train that early, and it's wrong to say it isn't as it may discourage mothers who would like to give it a go.

liney

GracieP wrote: »

I'm perfectly calm but you came on this thread and started stating conjecture as fact. When I point out that your claims are wrong, based on personal experience, you come back with "Chill Out." Seriously?

I was far from the exception to the rule, for one there were both my brothers. Then there are the hundreds of western children who are elimination trained, many who actually learn far earlier than I did. Then there are the billions of Chinese, Indian, African and South American children who were and are being trained in similar ways. I have a number of Asian and Indian friends who have trained their children almost from birth, and were trained this way themselves, like all the previous generations.

Not all babies can master bladder and sphincter control so early. There are reports of babies who have no accidents beyond 6 weeks old and conversely many who take 2 years to get to that level. Everyone is different. And of course it's not a competition, it's up to each parent to choose what method suits them. Nor is it a sign of intelligence. But it is completely possible to train that early, and it's wrong to say it isn't as it may discourage mothers who would like to give it a go.

You are talking about the san's nappy approach, which is akin to the mother tuning into when the baby will need to urinate. This is not potty training, this is learning to read your baby, and is the norm in eastern/african culture where nappies are not generally used certainly in rural settings. Because you can hold you child over a drain when you notice him begin to squirm in a certain way does not make him potty trained though does it :rolleyes: It makes you a great mother who is perfectly in-tune with your baby, who incidently, has far more patience then me.

Jo_R_2

Been reading about the bribery with choc/sweets - this never worked with my DD1! I also tried the nappy 'in' the potty but she never went for that either! Glad to hear these things worked for others though.

GracieP

liney wrote: »

Because you can hold you child over a drain when you notice him begin to squirm in a certain way does not make him potty trained though does it :rolleyes: It makes you a great mother who is perfectly in-tune with your baby, who incidently, has far more patience then me.

As I've already said, that is how that training starts, the mother follows the babies cues. However some forms of this training include the mother making a "cue" noise each time the baby goes to the toilet. Eventually the baby learns to only go when they hear this noise. Then the mother starts to leave longer intervals between pee times, so the baby starts to exercise bladder/sphincter control. Once the baby gains control the mother has to start weaning the baby off following the cues.

I don't think it necessarily makes someone who does this a great mother. This system stems from people who don't have access to disposable nappies or washing machines and not having to handwash wash nappies is less work. It's just a practical approach in a certain environment.

galvanizersbaby

GracieP wrote: »

As I've already said, that is how that training starts, the mother follows the babies cues. However some forms of this training include the mother making a "cue" noise each time the baby goes to the toilet. Eventually the baby learns to only go when they hear this noise. Then the mother starts to leave longer intervals between pee times, so the baby starts to exercise bladder/sphincter control. Once the baby gains control the mother has to start weaning the baby off following the cues.

I don't think it necessarily makes someone who does this a great mother. This system stems from people who don't have access to disposable nappies or washing machines and not having to handwash wash nappies is less work. It's just a practical approach in a certain environment.

I've seen threads with people discussing this approach to toilet training on MSE.
I can't imagine having had the time and patience involved for this but guess it's good for the environment and purse if you are successful.

Probably no good to the OP though with a 21 month old

GracieP

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Probably no good to the OP though with a 21 month old

Except that one poster categorically told her that 21 months is far too early and comments like that can be awfully discouraging.

liney

GracieP wrote: »

Except that one poster categorically told her that 21 months is far too early and comments like that can be awfully discouraging.

The poster, incidently not me, said that in their opionion as a Nursery Nurse it was too early as she has vast experience of potty training in her work environment.

Neither your, or her opinion is less valid, as they are after all opinions. Bit like bottoms... we all have them.

GracieP

liney wrote: »

The poster, incidently not me, said that in their opionion as a Nursery Nurse it was too early as she has vast experience of potty training in her work environment.

Neither your, or her opinion is less valid, as they are after all opinions. But like bottoms... we all have them.

I know it wasn't you, where did I say it was? I don't have any particular opinion on it. I think each child and mother is different and different things work for different people. I don't know the OP or her son, so I have no idea if this is the right time for her to train him. I do however know that many children of that age are trained, so it's very possible that the OP can train hers too.

The OP asked for opinions and negative opinions can damage people's confidence. What someone does need when training their child is confidence that they are doing the right thing. And being told that they are doing it too early, just because someone else has a different experience, isn't terribly reassuring.

I really don't know why you are being so hostile toward me.