Weekly Flylady Thread 19th May 2008

Dustykitten

zarazare hugest hugs

The one lesson I am constantly trying to teach my kids is 's*d what anybody else does or says, be yourself and be happy with your own values'.

I prefer to just support one or two charies - different ones at different life stages rather than giving a £1 here and there and don't feel bad about it.

You are trying to do you best by your kids and that is admirable. You sound really fed up and overwhelmed I hope you feel better soon (is AF due? - sorry but that always makes me really fed up with everything and all my issues much bigger)

poohbear59

:grouphug: zarazara hugs, I think you really need them right now. I have just finished a pain management course where we learnt how to ignore people who criticise us and our houses. Try to spend time with people who give you postive strokes and anyone who criticises is no friend at all. I used to be a high earner and so did my DH. We had loads of money and still got into debt and wasted it. Now we are on benefits DH works when he can and I am disabled, as we scrimp and save we are happier than we have ever been. It brings a closeness that was never there before. Think about the person who criticised you, if everything has come easily to her she may not be as happy or have the closeness of family around her. Also don't forget if someone upsets you try to imagine them naked on the loo and she will completely change in your mind's eye!

Sorry if Ihave repeated anything that has already been said.

pigpen

zara.. Do you love your family? Do you love looking after them and being able to provide them with the things they need? Do you love the fact they can come to you in their times of need? Do you need anyone elses approval when you have theirs?? I was pg when I left school.. so far I have spent 17 years at home with my brood and I wouldn't swap it for the world. Before we moved here we all lived in a tiny 3 bedroomed council hovel.. so we had those comments to.. the answer is.. my heart is smaller and I fit them all in there!! .. or a simple !!!!!! has it to do with you? works wonders.. .. Chin up hun.. look at all the fabulous things your life is filled with!!!!

dougierobino wrote: »

Hugs to all who need them, there seems to be a major need for them at the moment. And can I be nosy Pigpen? Have you ever counted up how many loads of laundry you do a week? I suspect a spot of laundry schadenfreude might get me through the next few months...!

I do about 6-8 a day.. some days I do loads and other days I do none.. but I usually have an empty basket!

I'm off for a half hour kip and I'll be back later with the weekend list.. I had a lovely relaxinng afternoon with my friend.. we had food and drinks and conversation and it was fabulous!

Justamum

skintscotslass wrote: »

Oh JAM, that sound like my DD! How old is she? To do a coffee do : coffee : but without the spaces

She's 11 (12 in August). Mind you I can't really talk. I claim the title of the World's Messiest Child :rotfl:Clothes were never put away - I'd have a pile of clean and a pile of dirty. You couldn't see the carpet. When we eventually ran out of mugs in the kitchen I was sent to my bedroom to collect them all :rotfl:. When I went to put things "away" I would slightly open the bedroom door and fling it in - and there it would stay. :rotfl:Now I'm all grown up (I think :rotfl:) I'm really good :A. Thinking about it she's really not all that bad :rolleyes:.

Now I'm off to make myself a :coffee: - want one? Thanks for telling me how to do it

Justamum

Dustykitten wrote: »

I've tidied the lady garden

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I'll have to remember that one!

Daisydoll

Justamum-I could have written your post!!!:o :rotfl: I feel sorry for my mum now as she had no chance with me as a teenager! Unfortuntaley so far my 2 take after me too!

Justamum

zarazara - I honestly didn't think adults could be like that. It's the sort of comment you would expect !!!!!y teenage girls to say! You are so much better than her PLUS she has yet to grow up. And nitha and pigpen have said it all so much better than I could. Chin up.

lil_me

zarazara, do whatever makes you happy! I get 'looked down upon' by some where we moved to because we rent our home instead of owning it, same goes for me not working. Then eventually people realise what matters, I'm home when my boys need me, I spend time with them all of the time instead of 4 weeks a year, I do a lot of voluntary work to keep me sane and do my bit, I've saved about £15k renting because if we'd bought this house it's lost about £20k plus since we moved in due to the price crash effecting. We may not have a big house we own (well in many cases peoples mortgage company owns) posh holidays every year etc but I know what my children will remember when they get older. It's not about what you have but who you are. Also gifts to siblings don't need to be matched, gifts are exactly that, they shouldn't be expected by people, if the others are bothered TOUGH I am sure their time will come when they need something.

Thanks poohbear, I'll have a look on ebay. Studying :rotfl: I don't think I will ever be able to say 'it's going really well' like you say other things become a priority. I haven't even touched it today yet.

Speaking of today I best go make something to eat, DP is on his way home and will only have about 10 mins to eat something and go to work..........being a saint for others again......catch up with the rest of the thread later, hopefully.

kazwookie

zarazara wrote: »

I'm feeling totally miserable today. i should be in work. i rang them yesterday and said i wont be going anymore. i just cant face it. i never seem to get anywhere. theres a person in our village who winds me up, always asking how me and mine "squash" into our little house. i work part time, started 2 months ago after 20 yrs at home as a full time mum. i feel overwhelmed, i cant see anything for the money i've earned as i've had to buy my eldest a washing machine, fridge and baby things. the youngest is still at home and i feel i owe him things too having spent so much on the eldest. we've struggled for years and i just never get any further forward.and then i get be-littled by people in the village and then theres the rich people who buy organic and fair trade and are always asking me to dontate to their causes. i just dont know what to do anymore.

Zara hugs.

Tell the nosey person to xxxx off! and like some one has already said, tell them it is all clean and done in a short time and gives you more time for your family.

Re buying stuff for your eldest, have you tried freecycle in your area, as people are often sorting out baby / children clothes and freecycling them, I would suggest you join up and see what else you could pick up for your eldest and family.

Re work, please don't give in, it will take time, are you on the right tax code, as this might make a difference to your take home pay, look at your pay slip.

Re people wanting you to donate to this and that, that happens all the time round my way, I give once or twice a year to door collectors, and tell the others very nicely 'thank you, but I have already supported another charity today' and close the door, and generally never had a problem.

And as for organic / fair trade stuff, I buy what I want when I want and sod the rest of them, and sod their flash cars etc..........

Another hug.

Please pop into the different threads, as some of them are very funny, I love this site and all the different people on it, it has made a world of difference to me, as I don't come from a large family/ have any family or friends as such. This lot here are my cyber friends, :j and generally wonderful people with lots of advise.:j

Oh and watch out for pigpen, she always has a duster in her hand, and is handing out biscuits!!:rotfl: :rotfl:

Dustykitten

It smells fab in the kitchen and the front garden as the door is open.

12 jam tarts (ok we've eaten 5 - I wont have another I feel too sugary already)
6 apple jelly tarts
1 victoria sandwiches
= very happy kids!

Sun is out now so going to earth up the spuds and then do a little bit in the back garden before getting the hose out.