problems at home - with dad

Melissa22_Mum

sounds like your having a very ruff, and undeserved time of it right now. You nor your mum should have to shoulder the blame for your dad having a hard time at work. It seems to be spiralling out of control beyond all reason! You should not EVER have to put up with being hit or beaten. AT ALL!

The CSA business is between your parents and not your problem. Get as much help as you can.

budget_budd

Id like to send you a big hug and let you know I went through something similar as a child/teenager, my dads brother was murdered and then his mum died (I was about 10) and then my dad's drinking went out of control, he used to beat my mum and threaten to kill our family dog, we were all mentally abused, it was hell living like that the only thing that kept me going was knowing I would get out one day (and I had brothers and sister to talk to) I did get out when I was 17, my mum left my dad then too.

Please remember none of this is your fault you have done nothing wrong.
You can get help, people here have given some great advice. I know it feels awful now but you will be able to get away.

elona

I know I will get flamed for this but in my opinion a man who beats his wife and daughter IS a "piece of dirt!"

Maybe if you can get somewhere safe and make something of your life it will spur your Mum to do something.

I agree with the previous posters of not telling your mum everything ( which is something I did not think I would ever type) as if it gets back to your Dad it could escalate the violence again.

glossgal

No experience of anything like this but just wanted to wish you all the best OP-I think you are totally brave and I'm convinced you have the strength to deal with this.

As far as your mum goes, she is clearly terrified that you are going to leave and she is making it difficult for you because she doesn't have the guts to walk away like you do. She is clinging to you and trying to drag you down with her-not nice to say but I think she is. You have already shown how determined and strong of character you are, please do not allow her or your dad to do this. I truly believe everyone has a person or people in their lives at some point who are 'toxic'. For you I would say this is actually your parents and you need to be away from them. There is no point trying to explain or excuse their behaviour, that's not your burden and without being patronising you're too young to deal with all that c***!

Please see the organisations already mentioned, you can declare yourself as homeless at your nearest council housing office if you have to and then you'll be in the system and they'll help you find a place to stay. You need to be out of there for yourself, its very sad that you have to take on this responsibility but the sooner you detach yourself from this family (even if it's only temporary) the better imho. Good luck x

bestpud

elona wrote: »

I know I will get flamed for this but in my opinion a man who beats his wife and daughter IS a "piece of dirt!"

Personally I think anyone who subjects another to physical or emotional abuse (worse when it is children imo) needs to get their act together. If they refuse to get their act together, then they are a 'piece of dirt' imo too.

How have you got on today Stokechick?

Firefly

I don't think any of us would disagree that any type of abuse from one person to another is wrong.

Let's hope Stokechick has managed to get some sensible adult advice today and found someone to guide her in her quest for safety and a happier future.

Paparika

Barbiegirl wrote: »

Gosh I can't believe how much your thread has been on my mind all day. I don't mean this in a nasty way I just feel so sad that this is going on. Please post when you are out of the house.....your life will get back on track but it will take time. If you could get a fulltime or part time job it would make renting a place somewhat easier. I wish you the best of luck and hope you are okay. x

She's been on my mind today too, hope she's ok and got some good advice from connextions

pandora205

I hope we hear from Stokechick as I assume she's been brave and gone to see Connexions and they are helping her.

stokechick16

Hello all!

Sorry for not replying. I did go connexions and got lots of advice. However i rang my nan and asked if i could stay with her. I am now staying with my nan but my nan is not in with all the technology so i have to come to a internet cafe. I also have 40 ppounds (bit more cash) Because onepoll paid me which i am pleased about .

Thank you sooooo much, i am very greatful. My mum is still with my dad at home sadly .... but maybe one day she will realise.

Thank you so much for the advice, opinions and replies. If it wasnt for people on MSE i dont think i would of had the guts to go .. but i am alot happier at my nans even though she keeps nagging me

thank you xxx

suebesue

Hi Stokechick

If it gets too much for you at your Nan's, you can present yourself to the local housing authority in your area. Techinically, in the eyes of the law you are at the age of sixteen still a child - and the local housing authority has a duty to attempt to find you alternative accommodation should you become homeless.

Take care