problems at home - with dad

stokechick16

Firstly I do apologies for this thread. I am just so sick of my family life at home and I need to write or put it somewhere. I am not here to feel sorry for me, etc. I have just had enough of it. Thank you.

My dad always speaks to me like I am a piece of dirt. But the past week or so I have been crying every day because of him.

He has been having problems at work, csa etc. Since his mum died nearly 6 years ago he has been drinking Stella or carling sometimes fosters every night.

And tonight, we had some family round. His sister (my aunty) her boyfriend, my cousin and his mate. Everything was going fine until I said he was!!!!ed up because he is. And he turned round to me and said "f off you d*ck head" for no reason what so ever. But because my feelings get hurt easily, I took this to heart as I thought there was no need for it. And came upstairs crying. Also we have been having problems with the net. He is taking that out on me too. I rang virgin media again... he told me turn some things off and would work, and it did. And it went off AGAIN so I came upstairs and said ill do and he told me to leave it, f off. Which again I thought there was no need for.

So I went in my mums and dads bedroom crying. He asked if I was going to fix it, I said no I offered and you told me to f off. So he come right up to my face, and said don’t use your mouth and start. I have done neither though. And he asked if I was going back downstairs, I said no and he said he is!!!!ing sick of me - excuse my language, sorry. And he turned the light off and went downstairs.

Then I was crying for a bit, and came into my room got the net working and about 10 minutes later my mum came up and asked if I am ok. I said no, because I am not and she went downstairs and told my dad to not drink if he cannot handle it.

I have had enough at home. My mum has just come up begging me to go downstairs but I do not want to. I am crying my eyes out all because of him. And she said he is gone tomorrow.

As I said, sorry for this thread. I needed put my feelings somewhere. And my mum at to tell him to say sorry, and he did not even mean it.

I am really sorry for the post but I needed to put it somewhere as it helps to get off my chest. Thank you.

count_rostov

oh - i don't have any advice for your, but lots of sympathy. It sounds as if you realise that your dad has his own problems, you're not the problem.
How old are you? Any chance you can move out soonish?

hev_2

There are some lovely people on here - if you don't let stuff out, it builds up to an explosion.

If you getting really upset regularly, try and see about getting some support, if you are always in tears it may be worth while trying to get some counselling to find strategies with your dad - your GP is a good place to start.

Wishing you all the best.

stokechick16

I am only 16 or else I would be moving out ASAP. Thank you for the replies I needed to get it out. I feel in a way I am being "bullied" but you could not exactly call it bullying. He gets spoke to at work like a piece of dirt, but he comes home and does it to me. In the past 6 days I have cried at least 20 times because of him. He is not even worth my tears but I cannot help it.

abbecer

No advice to offer but I wanted to send you a big hug. I too had a sh?? time at home but managed to leave at 16 and have never looked back. Won't seem like it now but it will get so much better.

Huggles and snuggles

Rebecca x

hev_2

He is displacing his pain onto you - you are being made a focus and he is blaming you. There is nothing you can do differently because it is not anything that is your fault that is causing this.

Wish I could help, you do need to make sure that you can talk to people. Are you at college or still at school? There may be some support there, or they may be able to point you in the right direction for help from an organisation.

Sending hugs.

stokechick16

Thank you very much.

I know the term "respect your elders" but he does not respect me. He thinks he is all hard after beer down him. When he is not. He has hit my mum in the past and me. A real man does not hit women. And i dislike him soooo much. I wish i could move out and say to him - "as far as i am concerned, your dead." sorry about my language etc and thank you for the replies xx

stokechick16

Thank you hev. I am at neither as i left school last year, went college for 3 weeks but dropped as it was not for me. I have to go now but thank you so much for the replies.

I have a banging headache. And my mum is coming sleep in my bedroom out of the way of him.

Thank you so much xxx

hev_2

Stokechick - try getting in touch with your local Conexions (think I've spelled it right). I don't know much about them, but I do know that they are meant to be places where young people without jobs or college places can go, and I have heard good things. Others coming after may be able to tell you more.

Hugs

count_rostov

Dealing wth bullies is so difficult and it doesn't get any easier, whether it's at school, family, work or a relationship. I suppose the only positive to draw is that you learn how to keep calm, protect yourself and keep strong.
I'm too tired to stay here but keep calm and sleep well!

Fleago

Stokechick,

It must be very difficult for you living in a situation in which your Dad's behaviour and drinking makes you feel so sad. Have you thought about contacting Al-Anon? It's a support organisation for people such as partners and children of people whose problem drinking is causing issues for them.

I don't know what age you are, but if you are no older than 17, then they also have Alateen, which is for younger people affected by someone close to them drinking too much - you'll see a little tab for info on Alateen at the top of the page you will reach from the link I gave you.

I know that when you are caught up in the middle of it all it's hard to keep brave, but always remember you are not the cause of your Dad's dreadful behaviour, he and his drinking are. You seeking help will not of itself stop him behaving in the way that he does, because only he can do that himself, but it will help you to cope with it, both physically and emotionally, and to learn how to protect yourself and stay strong.

Good luck, Stokechick. I'm not at all one for sending cyber hugs, but for you, I'll make an exception.