Big Badger House (aka Noisy Lodger) HE'S GONE!

Badger_Lady

All the tellies in the house:
- my new bedroom
- my private living room
- shared living room

So I'm sure one licence covers me!

Moominyak - yes, I haven't slept in a bed for 3 years, doesn't seem much point on your own. My room at the moment has got a sofa, a beanbag and a few comfy armchairs...

Ulfar wrote: »

Sorry but I am going to be a doom monger.

With your ex-boyfriend moving in as a lodger, it would be best for you to give him a contract and declare the income.

I say this because if he moves in as a partner and pays money towards the household upkeep, he can claim part ownership of the property even if your not married should things go sour.

This is something I want to protect myself from, particularly as I've been taken advantage of in the past. There are a few things that worry me:

1. He's coming into the relationship with nothing material (except a telly, a cat and a couple of small debts)

2. I've worked VERY hard (as those who've known me on here for the last few years are aware) to clear off my debts from the last relationship and get myself into a nice, secure home on my own.

3. On another angle - he's very keen to help me get the place up together, fitting my new kitchen, decorating, generally adding value to the place (although I intend to keep it for a number of years yet), so wouldn't it be unfair to cut him off from it completely?

moominyak

Badger_Lady wrote: »

I haven't slept in a bed for 3 years, doesn't seem much point on your own.

Really? Wow. My days of sleeping anywhere except in a bed are long behind me, my back wouldn't appreciate it now! (I'm probably not as old as I sound btw )

Although I'm sure a beanbag is comfier than a badger sett for you

I can empathise about your niggles re BF1 - it's the "few small debts" that concern me...is he sorting these out? I'd ask to see evidence as you don't want him getting himself registered at your place to be followed by bailiffs. I came home to find Sherriff's Officers (Scottish equivalent) on my doorstep once. :eek:

Although I'm sure you've learnt from your previous experiences, so I'm thrilled for you

When's he moving in, when's he moving in? :j

Badger_Lady

His total debts amount to under £1K, on credit card and overdraft (so not defaulted). I'm not going to just wipe his slate clean for him though.

Key thing is to get him a job first - and it looks as though I've just found his dream job, which he also fits the profile of, within walking distance of my house! And if that doesn't work out, he can come and work in my call centre for a while...

I'll let you know when we've got a moving in date! :rotfl:

nesssie1702

Hey Badger_Lady, it sounds as if it's all falling into place for you.

I just don't know how you can manage sleeping anywhere other than a bed though,..... :eek:

Badger_Lady

Ah, had a chat with him today and it seems he was underplaying the debts a little... http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=12453813#post12453813

neverdespairgirl

Hi BL - I'm sure this guy's wonderful, and please don't think I'm putting him down.

BUT.

You need to protect yourself. You really don't know him very well, and while I wish you all the best, you need to hope for the best and plan for the worst, not the other way round.

If you do lend him money to pay off debts (BAD IDEA) then get it in writing, and when he'll pay it back by. And wait a good year or two before he has any financial interest in your house. Please!

bubblesmoney

Badger_Lady wrote: »

I can't even write it down, it's too crazy...

Well, we - no, I really can't. Can I?

When I was 17 (i.e. 8 years ago), I fell in love for the very first time. We had a whirlwind romance, moved in together, the works... but we were both very young, he was more interested in showing off to his mates, and we eventually drifted apart (never actually broke up).

Then he found me on Facebook, and on Tuesday when I was up North we went for lunch. Two hours later, he was on the train with me back to my house, where he stayed until this morning when he went back up North.

And this evening he called up and we agreed that he has to move in.

How's that for speedy?

I'm getting really scared now. Time for wine.

just highlighted a few things on why U NEED TO BE SCARED BEFORE GOING AHEAD WITH THIS

in brief it goes like this

last knew him 8y ago. drifted apart. met just a few days ago, 2h later u were in the train, that evening decided to move in together

u hardly know him. last u knew him was 8y ago and now u r making a hasty decision. act in haste repent at leisure, comes to mind. he could stay as a lodger with contract. that would give u time to think through things and give things a go but have the option to boot him out using the clauses in the lodger contract. remember u had problems booting out lodger1 even with the contract, just imagine if things dont go right with bf1 and u dont ahve a contract and he puts a claim on the property for increasing value by decorating it etc. food for thought.

poppysarah

I'd be really really wary. Without wanting to be a caution minny I'd want to know exactly what other debt was chasing him away from where he used to live.

You're being very brave and foolish to be taking this on - when your heart says the opposite of your head it's really hard.

This guy was an !!!! 8 years ago. Chances are he hasn't changed.

You need him to do a experian and equifax credit check the minute he is living at your address and he needs to share the paperwork with you if you are planning a long term relationship. You need to know what all the story is.

You might be on the emotional rebound from having got rid of the stress of the dodgylodger.

Am I sounding terribly pessimistic? It might be leftover anaesthetic from my op on Thursday so i might not be as optimistic as you'd like.

Benny24

Badger_Lady wrote: »

All the tellies in the house:
- my new bedroom
- my private living room
- shared living room

So I'm sure one licence covers me!

Moominyak - yes, I haven't slept in a bed for 3 years, doesn't seem much point on your own. My room at the moment has got a sofa, a beanbag and a few comfy armchairs...



This is something I want to protect myself from, particularly as I've been taken advantage of in the past. There are a few things that worry me:

1. He's coming into the relationship with nothing material (except a telly, a cat and a couple of small debts)

2. I've worked VERY hard (as those who've known me on here for the last few years are aware) to clear off my debts from the last relationship and get myself into a nice, secure home on my own.

3. On another angle - he's very keen to help me get the place up together, fitting my new kitchen, decorating, generally adding value to the place (although I intend to keep it for a number of years yet), so wouldn't it be unfair to cut him off from it completely?

My (now new husband!!) moved in with me when we first got together, and he had nothing either, and I was in the same position as you.

I spoke with a solicitor, with OH's full knowledge, to ensure my position should anything go wrong in the future. She basically told me to make sure any money he gave me for his accomondation etc was placed into an entirely different/separate bank account from that which I paid Mortgage, Bills, maintenance of the house etc.

A direct debit was set up from his account into an old savings account of mine, to show continuity of the dosh and I spent this dosh on treats, food etc. NOTHING to do with the house or it would show he had an interest in it, and could try and claim he had if it went wrong.

If he wants to help with the 'doing up' of the house, try and have his money spent on stuff that can be taken away.....TV, Fridge, cooker etc...then heaven forbid it goes pear shaped he can take it with him when he goes!

Hope this helps.

clutton_2

is it a tad too early to suggest a pre-nup !!!!!!