Big Badger House (aka Noisy Lodger) HE'S GONE!

franklee

Coolio!, No worries ... Err call me old fashioned but is this lax way of writing you have just inviting informality of actions as well as informality of response? I liked your proper letter as it set firm boundaries. However the texts since then, particularly this last one, seem to erode those boundaries to me. In a formal situation, which this will be if he doesn't collect, I really think you need to be formal! Picture yourself in front of a judge in court defending your actions, do your emails cut it? (Not that I'm saying it will go wrong or to court but you have to cover your backside assuming worst case).

Badger_Lady

franklee wrote: »

Picture yourself in front of a judge in court defending your actions, do your emails cut it?

Well I think so, yes. 'Friendly', 'nice' and 'informal' they might be, but they also contain all the firm facts. I use a personal style but the content is all there. And in the meantime he doesn't get overly defensive.

franklee

Badger_Lady wrote: »

Well I think so, yes. 'Friendly', 'nice' and 'informal' they might be, but they also contain all the firm facts. I use a personal style but the content is all there. And in the meantime he doesn't get overly defensive.

Well if you're sure

I wasn't sure if the coolio in reply to he can't give specific times and the no worries implies you've dispensed with the need to give the at least 24 hours notice in advance, the email makes it sound like you will wait in for both those time slots. It could have been more like So just to be clear, as per the letter that's 3-5pm Friday or 9-11am Saturday with 24 hours notice which one.

Also I thought from
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=50022863&postcount=2578
there was a Sunday slot as well:
- Friday 20th January 3pm-5pm
- Saturday 21st January 9am-11am
- Sunday 22nd January 11am-1pm
but that may be an earlier version of the letter or as he's promised to be there Fri or Sat?

Not that it's your fault but if you give an inch he will take a mile.

outofmoney

Have to agree with Franklee. You seem a really lovely person but don't seem to know when to drop the friend act and become business like. Must be hard as you have come to know this person well but I think the fact you are being so laid back is why he is taking you for a ride.

Badger_Lady

outofmoney wrote: »

Have to agree with Franklee. You seem a really lovely person but don't seem to know when to drop the friend act and become business like. Must be hard as you have come to know this person well but I think the fact you are being so laid back is why he is taking you for a ride.

The moment I become business-like is the moment he shifts off out of my house so I don't have to have him there any more! Just one more trip and that's it, we can communicate by letter and court.

It's all very well being strict and demanding, but not with someone who's in your home and, well, bigger than you :undecided We know from prior experience that he'll only try and rebel against any authority signals.

There is a Sunday slot but he said "I'll be there Friday evening or Saturday" (which would be much better for me anyway). And I will be in at those times regardless - they're only narrow slots, so it's no hardship if he doesn't give me warning as long as he sticks to the times. I'm struggling to convince myself that he will

Loanranger

I read his reply as this: I will be there on Friday or Saturday but cannot give you any specific times.

m1ntie

Loanranger wrote: »

I read his reply as this: I will be there on Friday or Saturday but cannot give you any specific times.

I would guess he has absolutely no intention of coming during the time slots given. I think he is quite likely to purposely come when BL is out and then say he can't collect until the end of Jan.

outofmoney

Wouldn't surprise me if he does this as well. Again he is expecting you to stay in all day, both days. Yet wouldn't likely come on either.

Badger_Lady

Well, as an emergency back-up plan, LovelyNeighbour has offered me the use of his spare room over Christmas II. So that has calmed me down a bit - we will at least have a bed each for my family!

I guess there's nothing to do now but wait and see what happens...

I keep crying about something else now, though

19lottie82

He has been reminded (again) of the time slots avaliable. If he doesn't show up then take it to his parents.

PLEASE PLEASE don't hang on to it any longer BL! :mad: You've been far too nice already.